


I'll Wait

by Nightfade16



Series: 'Patience' LevixEren -Reincarnate AU- [1]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: AU, But in the next there will be, Character Death, Completed, Dreams, Eventual relationship, F/M, Funeral, Graduation, Hospital, Like, M/M, Memories, No smut in this story, Partial-relationship, Reincarnate, Serious Sexual Tension, Sexual Tension, Slow Build, The 104th Squad, Will Add More, Won't say who, Yes there will be a sequeal when this one ends, attack on titan - Freeform, its finally done omg, not sure, nothing BUT sexual tension, school setting, shingeki no kyojin - Freeform, slight agnst, snk, taekwondo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-09
Updated: 2018-02-16
Packaged: 2018-06-01 04:37:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 21
Words: 51,553
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6501121
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nightfade16/pseuds/Nightfade16
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eren has come back as a student who has dreams about a world of titans and survival. His best friends, Mikasa and Armin, and a few of his teachers, Erwin and Hanji, are different. They know of that world because they remember it as their past life. But Eren just thinks they're dreams.</p><p>Suddenly Levi appears as a new teacher who also has those memories and has been searching for Eren; only to find him as a boy who doesn't remember him. </p><p>How will they deal with the emotions that seem to be driving them together but the rules of society that are keeping them apart? And what of Erwin who seems to be catching onto their troubles?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter one

_Eren_   
_The last thing I heard was the Captain’s voice screaming my name; the sound so horrified and torn that I couldn’t help but look back to where he had been standing, trapped on the side of a building, just out of reach of the titans below. He had run out of blades and was low on gas so he couldn’t waste any of it trying to reach me._

  
_I had been soaring through the air, skilfully avoiding the hands of titans that reached to grab me. It was in that exact moment when I looked back to meet his steely gaze when I saw a wave of terror flash through those beautiful eyes._

_The next thing I felt was my whole body lurching to stop as I slammed into something solid and was thrown to the ground with such a force that left me lying against the concrete with a broken arm and dislocated shoulder. Searing pain was coursing through my leg and I could tell it was broken in more than one place. I could now barely wield my blades let alone stand or use my gear._

  
_With blood dripping down my forehead, steaming as it slowly disappeared, I looked up through the strands of hair that had fallen in front of my eyes and felt my heart stop. A titan stood above me, leaning around the corner with a deformed grin on its face. My body felt like it was on fire as it tried to heal itself, but I didn’t have enough time. The titan reached down, its huge hand nearing my mangled body._

_Gritting my teeth, I tried using my other arm to at least get myself out of the way with the wires but my limb was unresponsive. Fear snaked its way into my heart as the hard grasp of the titan’s hand wound around my body. I couldn’t breathe or even try to escape, my body stiff with terror._

  
_Levi’s voice was ringing in my ears; begging me to ‘get out of there!’ To shift, to do anything really but I couldn’t. I managed to turn my head enough to look at Levi and smile softly. He was using the last of the gas in his tanks to try and reach me but it was too late, he didn’t have enough left._

  
_As the titan brought me closer to his mouth I met Levi’s steely gaze and mouthed three words to him. I love-_

 

“Eren!” At the sound of my name my head snapped up, pen dropping from my hand.

“Huh?” Laughter and snickering sounded around me and I felt a blush creep onto my cheeks as I realized everyone was staring at me expectantly.

Looking to the teacher I saw that look in his eyes that meant he had asked me a question and was waiting oh so very patiently for an answer.

He raised an eyebrow as our eyes met, “well Eren? Could you please tell us who it was that first invaded Poland?” He had a voice that sounded like he was trying his best to hold a command over the class but a majority of the time it broke and the class would go uncontrolled.

  
I chewed my lip before answering.

“Ghandi?” The class erupted in more laughter and the teacher sighed. Before he could begin lecturing me the bell rang through the room and students immediately stood up, shoving their books away into their bags, desperate to escape the class and go to lunch.

I caught my best friends Mikasa and Armin at the door and we quickly fell into step beside each other, making our way to the grounds. The sun was shining brightly, light filtering through the leaves in the trees that we had decided to sit underneath for lunch.

  
“The history teacher fucking sucks ass.” I huffed; slouching against the oak tree we had seated ourselves under, soft spring grass underneath us. The weather had finally come good again and we were lapping up as much of the nice weather as we could before summer rolled around to leave us sweltering.

  
“No, you’re just an idiot who doesn’t pay attention.” Mikasa snorted, opening her lunch to reveal a neatly packed sandwich, which she quickly started scoffing down.

  
I grunted in response to her, extending my leg to kick at her thigh, and pulled out my own lunch: bag of potato chips, closing my eyes as I ate them; arm moving like it was on autopilot. Armin rolled his eyes at us but didn’t cut in like he usually did.

  
“Hey, don’t we have a new English teacher coming in today?” He asked, slowly picking at the food he brought. I groaned. The last English teacher we had was an absolute idiot who had no idea how to teach. No wonder he was getting replaced.

  
“If this guy is another wanker like the last one I swear to god,” I sighed. English was enough of a hassle without idiotic teachers making it worse.

Before Mikasa or Armin had a chance to respond we all heard my name being called out over the loud speakers, asking me to go to the History office immediately. I groaned and squeezed my eyes shut. “Reckon I could pretend I died?” I laughed and the others shook their heads, amusement on their faces.

  
“Just go before you get into more trouble.” Mikasa laughed, shoving at my shoulder in an attempt to get me to move. I stood and slung my bag over my shoulder and began trudging my way back into the school building and up the stairs, heading for the class I had just left but instead of returning to that room I went into the one next to it and took my seat across from the teacher who instantly launched into the lecture he missed giving me earlier.

I left the office half an hour later with a frown on my face. There was nothing worse than having some adult drone on and on about the shit they went through as a teenager, saying that we all have it better than them and that we should accept everything as it’s given and make the most of every chance we get. Fuck off. Just because things were different compared to back then didn’t mean that now was any easier.

To the adults perhaps, but that’s only because they’ve already been through school and know what to expect. We students are still learning; you can’t expect us to accept everything without batting an eyelid. Especially not me; no: I was the type of person to argue and fight against anything and everything.

  
I marched away from the office and down the hall with a murderous scowl and didn’t notice the other person rounding the corner just as I did. We collided and they went down, ass hitting the floor and their bag landed a few feet away. I growled lowly and glared at them on the ground.

  
“Fucking watch it.” My voice was low and you would have to be an absolute idiot to try and reason with me. The man who had fallen was shorter then I, with a closely cropped haircut, the backside shaved closed to his neck. His eyes were a piercing grey colour and when they met mine I could see the exact same fiery anger that I was feeling.

He was too nicely dressed, sporting a white shirt tucked into black jeans with a black jacket thrown over the top. A funny looking tie that resembled a scrunched up tissue was shoved down the front of his shirt. What kind of student wears a suit to school? I wondered but the thought passed. It took me a moment to realize that I was staring at him and he was staring back, eyes swimming with sudden recognition; like he knew who I was.

  
I quickly stepped around him and made my way back down to where I had left Mikasa and Armin. They looked like they were having a heated discussion, leaning in close to one another and using hushed voices. It was like they were planning on robbing a bank, the way they were trying to be secretive.

  
I didn’t care, I simply threw my bag to the ground and followed after it, grunting as I crossed my arms and leaned against the tree once more.

  
“Like I said; that History teacher is a fucking asshole.” I growled as they looked at me, questioning the anger on my face. They both sighed and Armin leaned away from Mikasa. Whatever they had been discussing was no longer their point of concern, my look of ‘I am seriously ready to start killing people’ was.

  
“What happened?” Armin looked concerned while Mikasa was rolling her eyes. She knew I got angry over everything and obviously thought this was just another of my tantrums.

  
“Well apparently I need to try harder in class and not distract myself with the silly stories I write because they’re not real,” Mikasa and Armin exchanged a glance but quickly looked back to me, “but the class is and that’s where my attention needs to be… And then he proceeded to bore me with tales of his youth; how he never had the sort of chances we did and that we shouldn’t take anything for granted.” I sighed and shut my eyes, giving myself a moment.

Most of the time, if I was angry, I could just rant about it to my friends and the feeling would pass… Most of the time.

Today however, the feeling just kept bubbling, making me grit my teeth and clench my fists.

  
As Armin opened his mouth to speak, the bell rang, announcing the end of our limited freedom. I stood quickly and went ahead of them to class, in no mood to be reasoned with since I knew that was what Armin was going to do.

  
I shoved past other students making their way into the building and trudged to the English room, not wanting to be interacting with anyone. I just wanted to bury myself in my stories and let the class slip by.

 

Once everyone was finally seated, I in a seat near the front of the class and beside the window, the class fell into a quiet buzz.

Students pulled their chairs closer to one another and spoke in hushed voices. A lot of the talk being thrown around the room was wonder about who the new teacher would be and what they would be like. Several girls had giggled among themselves wondering if it would be another hot male teacher. I snorted and rolled my eyes but couldn’t help but wonder the same thing.

There was only one male teacher who worked here, who was actually hot. Everyone else was just decent and we needed some new eye candy.

  
The door to our classroom suddenly slid open and everyone was silenced as what we assumed was the new teacher walked in. Around me girls were giggling again and boys were huffing in a competitive way. And no wonder; the man had a slender build but not feminine and you could tell that he had muscle but it was hidden by the suit he wore. His black hair was a stark contrast against his creamy skin and his eyes had a grey stare that could wilt flowers.

  
While those around me swooned, I swore.

This was the man I had knocked over earlier and told to ‘fucking watch it’. I prayed silently, hoping he would take a seat among the students.

No such luck. He strode to the desk at the front of the room and placed his bag on it before facing the students and looking out over our faces. His eyes finally stopped on mine and I couldn’t bring myself to look away. I couldn’t.

I was caught up in that metallic gaze and I found myself holding my breath. His eyes seemed to smirk even though his mouth didn’t and once again there was that wave of recognition in his eyes that sent a shudder through my spine.

It felt like forever before he turned away and picked up a piece of chalk, beginning to write his name on the board and I could finally breathe again.

  
Oh shit. Looked like I was going to be the one to fucking watch it.


	2. Chapter two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren writes a scene about himself and Levi.
> 
> And Levi reads it.

Eren  
I sat in silent embarrassment the whole class. We came to learn that the new teacher’s name was Levi Ackerman; Mr Ackerman as we had to call him. I felt a wave of confusion as I recognised the name.

A lot of my time I spent writing stories based off of dreams I kept having about humanity being trapped in the confinement of walls, fearing the titans that threatened their survival. Several people I knew in reality had appeared in my dreams so I wrote them into my stories: There was myself, Mikasa and Armin and like here, they were my best friends in the other world. Erwin Smith, who was a teacher here in reality, was the Commanding Officer of the Survey Corps. And Hanji, our residential mad scientist, was also another character who liked appearing in my dreams.

And now, I had just found another person who was apparently a real human being.

When I first made the connection I was confused, and now I was fighting back the erotic thoughts that were threatening to enter my mind. In my dreams of the other world, Levi and I had been in the Survey Corps together; him as the Corporal and myself as a soldier. Not only that, we had been lovers; meeting in secret behind the backs of our comrades to connect in ways that were viewed as sinful back then and even still today a man lying with another man was considered disgraceful. But I couldn’t care less.

However, now realizing the connection between the lover in my dreams and the teacher standing just in front of my desk made it very difficult for me to pay any proper attention. I couldn’t take my eyes off of the man; the way he moved so graceful and yet there was nothing feminine about it. He apparently also had a permanent scowl in the real world as well as in my dreams yet when that steely gaze came my way I could see it soften, if not just for a moment, before hardening again as he looked to someone else.

Hearing him speak all class was absolutely agonizing. Remembering how that voice sounded in my dreams; saying my name, commanding me both in and out of the bedroom, moaning out my name under his breath. My mind began to wonder to dark places very quickly.

Inspiration hit me and I flipped through the pages of my book heading for the back and I began to write.

_Levi ran his hands up the sides of my waist, trailing them along slowly, teasing me; the bastard. I huffed and lifted a leg, using the desk I was leaning against for balance as I rubbed my thigh against his hip, egging him on. “Please Captain…” I breathed out, my voice low and desperate. The needy tone in my voice must have worked because suddenly Levi was grabbing my hips and lifting me onto the desk. I kept my legs spread wide for him to stand between them and pulled him closer with my calves._

_We were both in our sleeping clothes, loose shirts and pants, as it was late and everyone was in bed; except us. I had snuck down to the Captain’s room just under ten minutes ago and it took me a whole thirty seconds of leaning against his desk and whispering ‘please Captain’ in his ear for him to stand up and pin me between himself and the desk. I lifted my arms and wrapped one around his back, pulling him harder against me and bent the other at his shoulder, letting my hand play with those soft black locks, a soft smile playing on my lips. “What would you like me to do Captain?” I asked quietly, looking into his eyes and biting my lip. His eyes closed briefly before he opened them again, a controlling look in that grey gaze._

_“I want you on your knees, brat.” His voice was low and husky, but commanding and so I obeyed, sliding off the desk and to my knees in front of him. I lowered my hands to my lap and refrained from touching him; he hadn’t said I could yet._

_Dropping a hand, he carded his fingers through my hair and I closed my eyes, leaning up into the touch. He lightly brushed the back of his hand over my cheek, reaching down to hold onto my chin and made me look up at him._

_“Eren.” He murmured softly and I closed my eyes, just wanting to hear my name on those perfect lips._   
_“Eren…”_

“Eren, would you care to continue the reading?” I stared at the page I had been writing on, the flow I had suddenly lost and frowned. I had been doing so well.  
I lifted my head to find everyone staring at me yet again and Levi looking at me with a raised eyebrow, obviously unimpressed. I searched his eyes for that glint of familiarity he seemed to keep getting but instead I only saw authority. It made me shiver.

“I- what?” I stammered out, completely lost. Levi sighed, leaning against the desk, book in his hand. When he looked back at me there was nothing but disappointment and… confusion?

He pushed off from the desk and strode forwards until he was in front of mine, hand on his hip.  
“Perhaps if you weren’t so busy writing you would know, now wouldn’t you?” I stared up at him and gulped. Having him so close was distracting on a whole new level. He stared back at me expectantly before sighing and shaking his head.

“Well, how about you share with me what was so important to you that you didn’t pay attention?” Something of a snicker crossed his features and he snatched my book up from my desk.  
My heart fell into my stomach and I stood up, reaching for it, trying to snatch it back. “No!” I gasped. He couldn’t read that!  
He easily avoided my efforts and stepped back, bringing the page up as his eyes dropped to begin reading. This was it. This was straight up the most embarrassing thing that had ever happened to me. Forget getting called on in class and not having the answer ready, forget tripping over and dropping your books or stuttering in front of your crush.  
Try having the man you were just writing the beginning of an erotic scene about now reading said erotic scene.  
My heart thundered away in my chest and my cheeks flared bright red.  
Levi quirked an eyebrow as his eyes scanned the page. He was intrigued and confused; I could tell by the way he would softly bite the inside of his lip and frown at the writing on the page.

When he was finished he slowly lowered my book and met my eyes. I stared back at him, angry and embarrassed, but couldn’t read his eyes.  
“Eren,” his voice was low and I couldn’t bring myself to look away, “after class please come to the English office.”  
Oh fucking shit hell balls.

The class was silent except for several people murmuring ‘ooh’ and a few whispering ‘what the hell did he write?’  
I clenched my fists and ground my teeth, reaching out and snatching my book back, grunting a ‘yes sir’, under my breath before sitting back down and glaring out the window, a sinking feeling setting in my gut.

Well there went any chances I had of doing well for the rest of the year. Now Levi was going to be seriously disturbed by me and question what I’m doing every time I have a pen in my hand. How could he even look at me like a normal student now that he had read what I wrote?  
I buried my head in my hands and pulled at my hair.

“You’re a fucking idiot,” Mikasa hissed from her seat behind me, I just flipped her off and returned to glaring out the window.

******

I took a deep breath and held on tightly to the strap of my bag as I lifted a hand and knocked lightly on the English office door. I silently prayed that he wasn’t here, that he had forgotten and went to the break room where all the other teachers were.  
“Come in,” called a voice from behind the wooden barrier. Fucking hell.  
I closed my eyes and let my breath go, reaching for the handle and slowly easing the door open.

“Ah, Eren, come on in.” Levi was seated behind the desk, some paperwork spread out before him, pen in hand. I stepped into his office and shut the door behind me, leaning back against it. I took a moment to let my eyes wander over the man before me, taking in the serious expression on his face as he worked, the way his hair fell in front of his eyes. I suddenly felt the urge to reach out and brush it back.

“Aren’t you going to sit Eren?” Levis voice broke into my thoughts and I realized I had been staring like a psychopath. I quickly dropped my gaze and walked up to the chair across from his desk and sat down, chewing on my lip as I dropped my bag beside me.

“Now… Any ideas why I asked you to come here Eren?” Was he fucking serious? He knew exactly why I was here and he definitely knew I knew. I stared at him, frowning slightly. He was playing with me; I knew it as soon as I saw that teasing smirk on his lips. It was the most expression I had seen him make all day.  
“I- Well… Do I honestly have to say it?” I huffed, crossing my arms over my chest, “we both know why I’m here.”

“If you know then you should have no troubles saying it.” Was all he came back with, leaning back into the leather of his seat, crossing his arms like mine and crossing a leg over his knee; mocking me with that stupid smirk on his face. I frowned at him and looked away, cheeks starting to heat up again.  
“Because I wasn’t paying attention in class.” I grunted.  
“And why weren’t you paying attention?”  
“Because I was writing.”  
“Writing what exactly?” Fucking bastard. I glared at him, bright green eyes meeting steely grey ones in an intense stare. He was baiting me, seeing how far he could push me before I snapped.  
“I was writing a lead up to an erotic scene between you and I.” I said bluntly, glaring at him, hoping to burn holes in his head with my gaze.  
No such luck.

My anger faltered and shifted to something else just as intense when Levi smirked harder, obvious amusement on his face. I was pissed off at him for being so smug but there was something about that smirk and heated gaze that made me want to throw myself over the desk and claim him.  
“You’re the same as ever…” He chuckled, shaking his head. I blinked and any anger I had disappeared.

“What?” I frowned, confused as all hell. He was speaking like he knew me. But he didn’t. He mustn’t’ve meant to say that out loud because he frowned and shook his head, brushing it away. “Nothing,” he huffed and returned to looking at me with those intense eyes of his.  
I held his eyes and felt something shifting, felt the air getting heavier with something I couldn’t quite identify.  
I was suddenly very grateful for the desk separating us.

“S-so, am I in trouble or…” I had to break the silence between us; it was almost getting hard to breath with all that tension in the air. Levi sighed and uncrossed his arms, pinching the bridge of his nose before looking back at me, any remnants of before suddenly gone. “Look, as a professional and your teacher I found it highly inappropriate: you shouldn’t have been writing something like that for several reasons. One; you’re a minor and yet you’re writing things like that? Two; I am your teacher and an adult, that in itself is a warning bell. Three; you only just met me.” Levi stood up from his seat and made his way around the desk until he was in front of me, leaning back against it. Well, there went our barrier. I stared up at him, swallowing slightly, patiently waiting for the rest of his words. I hadn’t expected them to be what they were.

“But as man who happens to find one of his students rather attractive and desirable,” his voice lowered and the smug look came back onto his face and I felt my body tense up, “I happened to find it very hard not to let the class know just how much I enjoyed reading what you wrote.”  
I stared at Levi, my mouth falling open. Did- did that just happen? Did he really just say what I thought he did?  
I wasn’t in trouble for writing what I did?  
What the fuck?

I shifted uncomfortably in my seat, pressing my thighs together and twisting my hands around one another.  
“Ah… So does that mean I’m not in trouble?” I pressed, chewing on my bottom lip. Levi chuckled, the sound ringing through my ears like angels singing and shook his head.

“No… not this time at least. Just don’t let me catch you writing that kind of stuff again, especially in my class. Even though I enjoyed it, I still am your teacher and you’re my student, I get paid to teach you so you better learn. If I catch you writing like that in my class again I might just have to punish you. Got it brat?” The nickname held no offense to it and it almost felt like a term of endearment. At least I would have thought that if it hadn’t instantly me reminded me of the scene I had been writing where Levi had asked me to ‘get on my knees’. And what did he mean by punishment? There was a suggestive tone in his voice and I knew it would be dangerous to try reading into it.

I quickly nodded and stood up, holding his gaze for a moment longer before bolting out of the room, rushing to the bathroom to hide.  
My heart was racing and my jeans felt tight. Looking down I realized why. Apparently this man I barely knew in reality and only had brief dreams about had the power to give me a boner just by speaking.

I groaned and tried willing the boner away but Levi kept entering my mind.  
How the hell was I going to survive English class now that every time Levi looked at me I knew I would get an erection?  
Fuck me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for the kudos' and hits! 80 hits in only two days! Holy cow :') Thank you <3


	3. Chapter three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A recap but from Levi's point of view

Levi –flashback part one-  
How had my life become like this? I used to command soldiers and lead missions; battle titans and stand as humanities’ strongest soldier.  
Now I was nothing more than a middle class citizen working among the rest of humanity. Ordinary… Normal.

I don’t know what inspired me to become a teacher. Probably the old habits I still had of wanting to be a leader, but the army wasn’t for me anymore. I had seen enough destruction and death of comrades in my past life; I didn’t need it here in this new one. I was ready to move on from the bloodshed of my life within the walls and embrace the freedom I had in this life.

However, with one restriction gone, several others took its place. In modern times I didn’t have any walls keeping me caged in like an animal, but instead I had people telling me that my sexuality was sinful and wrong and that pissed me off to no end. It wasn’t anybody’s fucking business who I slept with. Just because the people I’m attracted to also happen to have a dick doesn’t make our feelings any less than if they had breasts and nothing between their legs.

The same went for anyone with a sexuality that differed from what was considered ‘normal’. That was one of the biggest things I hated about this new world. At least within the walls even if people didn’t like the idea of homosexuality they had too many other things to deal with to make a big deal out of it.

Nonetheless Eren and I had still kept it a secret that we were lovers. People didn’t need to know so we didn’t tell. That had been one of the biggest thrills about being with him; the risk of being caught.

It was a hard memory I carried, the one where I watched him die right in front of me, but it was the only thing that told me that he was here somewhere in this new life. And I could only hope that he was out there searching for me like I was for him.

 

It was by total coincidence that I had landed myself a job as an English teacher at the school Eren went to. I hadn’t even known that it was his school until I had spotted Armin and Mikasa lounging underneath a tree out on the grounds. I took a moment to compose myself before walking up to them, at first acting like a normal teacher, just to see if they also shared the same memories that I did. I knew they did the moment they looked up at me and gasped quietly.

“Captain?” Was the first word out of Armin’s mouth; he was taking a risk, blurting out a word like that and not knowing if I would understand the context behind it and remember what that title had meant. It didn’t matter though, since I did remember and it was a fucking relief that they did too.

“Afternoon brats,” I let the faintest of smiles curl on my lips and that was all it took for them to relax and realize that it was me. “You obviously remember who I am.”  
They both nodded and Armin offered me a smile.

“We were wondering if we were going to meet you as well in this life." He admitted and Mikasa nodded. I tilted my head, standing a little closer to them. Somehow, talk about the previous life we all shared felt very personal and private.

“’As well’? Who else have you met?” I asked, trying to force down the hopeful feeling that was trying to rise up in me. Had they met Eren? Was he also wondering if he was going to meet me? Did he spend every day searching each face he passed like I did, hoping it was his?

“Nearly everyone from the old training squad is here at this school. Erwin and Hanji are here too; they’re teachers- wait, are you going to be the new English teacher?” Armin’s face seemed to light up a little, but he also looked a bit skeptical. I let out a brief laugh.

“Yeah, I know, the role doesn’t quite suit me, but it was the only thing I felt like I could do; nothing else interested me.” I shook my head, smiling very faintly before biting my lip and looking back to them. “Is Eren here?” A look passed between the pair and for a horrifying moment I thought that meant no.

“Yes, he is… You just missed him actually, he’s gone to go get lectured most likely, ‘cos he was a little shit in History,” Mikasa rolled her eyes and sighed, obviously this wasn’t the first time Eren had stuffed up in class. Oh I couldn’t wait to start teaching him.

“So if he’s friends with you two he must have his memories as well, right?” I shifted my weight from foot to foot suddenly fearing what the answer might be. My heart dropped when another looked passed between them and they remained quiet for a long time.

“What is it? Doesn’t he remember?” Oh fuck. No. Please no.  
“No, he does it’s just,” Armin bit his lip as he started speaking, unsure of how to continue, “he knows about the world we lived in; he knows about the walls and the titans and the survey corps. All of that, he knows of it but not because he has memories of it as such… He has dreams instead. He dreams about everything that happened and he writes them down. He’s seen us and Erwin and Hanji in his dreams so sometimes he’s gotten a bit confused about why we’re there but he just sums it up as his brain supplying his dreams with people he knows in reality.” Armin sighed and I simply stared at him.

So, Eren didn’t remember, but he knew? I didn’t know how to feel about that. One part of me was singing my praises because at least Eren knew what all our past lives had been about. But he didn’t realize that they had actually been his life too. He thought they were just random dreams he kept having, his friends and the people he knew around him just so happening to appear in them.

“Does he know you two already know about that life?” I inquired quietly.  
“No. We haven’t told him, we’re not sure how to tell him. If he just thinks that what he’s dreaming of is just dreams and not memories then what would happen if we told him basically everyone here already knew about it because they remembered it themselves?” Mikasa shook her head, “we’re just planning on letting him either dream some more or come to the realization himself. In the meantime we just nod and pretend we don’t know what he’s talking about.”

So that was how it was going to have to be; tip-toeing around Eren for the fear of confusing him with the knowledge that his dreams were once a reality. That was such bullshit. I didn’t know how long I would be able to fake not knowing who Eren was; pretending that we didn’t have a history together.

It felt physically painful trying to wrap my mind around the fact that I had spent my whole life in this world searching for Eren, praying and hoping that he would remember, only to find out that even though he knows of the world we lived in, he doesn’t remember it; doesn’t remember me as his lover.  
I felt my face turning into a scowl and I didn’t bother trying to hide it. This was my usual look anyway.

Mikasa and Armin frowned slightly at my sudden shift in mood but before they could ask what was wrong I just turned on my heel and walked away.

I had started the day feeling ordinary; excited, almost, at the thought of starting my new job, the day got even better when I realized that I would be seeing Eren again. But after finding out that he would have no memory of us being lovers and only think that they were dreams had absolutely spoiled any happy feelings I had been experiencing.

My mood only got worse as I made my way towards the classroom I was assigned to and ran into someone, sending me sprawling to the ground, flat on my ass. I was the first one to see who I had bumped into and my breath caught. It was Eren. He was right here in front of me, messy brown hair and complicated green eyes staring back at me. For a split second I thought there was something familiar in his eyes but that quickly disappeared as he growled for me to ‘fucking watch it’ and I swore I could feel my heart shatter. My face quickly set back into a scowl as he walked away and I sighed, squeezing my eyes shut, trying to calm myself down.

He just brushed me off like I was nothing; like we had been nothing.

That had hurt more than watching him die.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just... Holy mother Teresa. It's been two days but I already have this many hits and kudos'? Thank you all so much!  
> Please don't forget to comment and let me know what you think I could improve on.


	4. Chapter four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Recap from Levi's POV again.

Levi –flashback part 2-  
Before my first class started I secluded myself in my new office. I should have been organizing my folders and papers and making it truly my own office; but instead I was sulking in my chair, glaring at my name plate sitting on the opposite edge of my desk. My name used to mean something to people; it used to be more than just a title. When people heard my name they imagined humanities’ strongest; not some man teaching brats English. But that was in the past and I had to learn to supress the memories of that time when it wasn’t necessary to remember them. 

Eren’s angry eyes and voice kept replaying over and over in my mind. I couldn’t believe it. It was Eren, he was here and alive and right in front of me. And yet I couldn’t touch him, Couldn’t even speak to him about anything outside of school and ordinary life.

My heart lurched as I closed my eyes and pictured Eren, lying beneath me, caramel skin glowing, chocolate brown hair all messed up and his eyes; those emerald green fucking eyes, staring up at me like I was the only thing he ever needed to see; like I was some kind of god and honestly, when I was with Eren- even though I was the dominant one- I really did feel like the brat worshipped me with everything he had.

I had never thought that anyone could be so important and close to me; not after what happened to Isabel and Farlan, and yet Eren had been. I was prepared to throw my life on the line for him over anyone else; I was willing to pull blades on those who threatened him and I nearly did once. 

We both came together; two broken and lost souls that were desperately afraid of being broken once again, but couldn’t be themselves without another half.  
And Eren and I were exactly that; two halves of a whole. Like Yin and Yang. We really did complete each other in a way that no previous lovers of mine ever had. He was irrational and head strong while I was strategic and swift. We were the perfect team and we balanced together so easily where if we had been with anyone else we would have tipped the balance too severely.

I needed Eren in my life, no matter what life it was, I needed that balance.

 

It took me a moment to realize that the bell was ringing and I groaned, sinking lower into my chair. Maybe I could pretend I died and never have to teach at all.  
I quickly shook the thought away. Even though it was a joke it meant that I would never see Eren again until we meet in our next life.

No, I was going to put up with all these shitty brats, dirty rooms and horrible pay just so I could see those green eyes watching my every move.

And they did; as soon as I slid open the door to my classroom, a quick hush went over the students. Some still murmured, but I couldn’t care less about how attractive they were saying I looked. There was only one person I needed to see and there he was, seated by the window and staring at me like I was some kind of titan from our other world. I stared at him longer than I should have; searching those complexly green eyes for any sign of recognition but all I saw was confusion and fear.

I easily remembered why he would fear me. He had told me to ‘fucking watch it’ not twenty minutes ago and here I was now, writing my name on the board in elegant cursive lettering. 

I quickly went through the formalities of introductions and politely listened to everyone as they said their names but they all went in one ear and out the other. Eren was the only one I wanted to hear speak, but when it finally reached his turn he simply mumbled Eren. Mikasa had rolled her eyes and repeated his name louder despite knowing that I knew exactly who he was.

After that I easily slid into my role as a leader –it came naturally to me- and I had the class set on a reading task. After about twenty minutes, I noticed that Eren had his head buried in his book, not his reading book however, but instead he was writing furiously, brown hair falling in front of his eyes. I recalled Armin’s words. He had said that Eren wrote down the things he remembered from his dreams. Could he be writing down a memory right now? 

I called his name several times, asking him to continue the reading before he finally lifted his head, looking like a stunned deer in headlights.  
I sighed at his lack of attention. He used to try so hard to be the best at everything (especially if he knew Jean was going to be his competition) and yet here he was some lazy teenager that had the attention span of a goldfish. It was disappointing to see all that potential I knew he had being wasted.

Rolling my eyes skyward briefly, I pushed off my desk and strode towards his and stopped in front of him, staring into those perfect eyes. 

“Perhaps if you weren’t so busy writing you would know, now wouldn’t you?” I scolded him and watched as he looked guilty. Normally I wouldn’t have cared, but there was something telling me that I had to read what he had written; I had to know whether it was something about our old life.

“Well, how about you share with me what was so important to you that you didn’t pay attention?” I snickered quietly and snatched up his book. The look of fear that crossed his features as he cried out ‘no!’ was too amusing for me to hand it back so easily, so instead I took a step back from his reach and began reading. The first word I read was my name, so that was a shock, but nothing else shocked me more than reading the rest of the passage. The scene he had been writing described a time that I actually remembered: it had been the night before one of our expeditions and Eren had snuck into my room; begging and pleading me to ‘take him on every surface in the room’. I remembered scowling and telling him that he was a stupid brat; that he wouldn’t be able to walk the next day if I actually had my way with him. But it took thirty seconds of his begging for me to finally snap and slip into my dominant zone; giving into him and taking him on every surface I could get him on.

He hadn’t made it that far into the memory, probably thanks to me interrupting him, but even just the lead up to it was enough for me to have to focus on not letting the blood rush to my groin.

Instead, I locked eyes with him and told him to meet me in my office after class. He huffed and snatched his book back, slumping into his chair.

My heart was racing; the thought of having Eren alone in my office was enticing but I knew I couldn’t make any moves. There were so many things keeping me from doing that.  
Despite what he had written, that didn’t mean he actually remembered that we were lovers, he just thought he was dreaming of that world; he didn’t carry those feelings he had through to this world.

Even if he did have those same feelings for me here, the rules of society would keep us apart anyway; he was a minor, I was an adult, he was a student and I was a teacher. Those were some pretty major roadblocks despite how in love we may have been if his feelings had remained.

That was going to make being around him very difficult. 

 

When the time finally came for Eren to meet me in my office, my heart was thundering away in my chest. I tried to keep myself composed but I was starting to lose my edge the instant I sat down and waited for him. So I quickly busied myself with my paperwork; spreading out before me and taking up my pen.

It felt like an eternity before I heard the knock on my door and I had to force myself to stay calm.

“Come in,” I called out and briefly looked up as he opened the door and meekly stuck his head around it. 

“Ah, Eren, come on in.” I leant back in my seat and looked up at him as he shut the door behind him. Instantly his eyes were on me, looking me up and down, staring at me with a a flurry of different emotions: there was a fear of what I might say to him as a teacher, confusion –which I guessed, since he had written about me, that meant he had dreamed about me, so he was obviously curious as to who I was and why I was here- but even I could see the small flicker of lust and yearning that shifted through those green eyes.  
After a long time of staring I at me I finally broke the silence and asked if Eren wanted to sit. He looked startled before taking his seat.

With the way he was chewing on his lip and darting his gaze was around the room it took everything I had to not throw myself over the desk and take him in my arms and then ravish him on my desk right then and there. 

It was physically painful to have to restrain myself when he was sitting so close.

“Now… Any ideas why I asked you to come here Eren?” I asked after a moment longer, a small smirk playing on my lips as his eyebrows furrowed. I was toying with him. We both knew why he was here; but I just wanted to hear him say it.

“I- Well… Do I honestly have to say it?” He huffed and crossed his arms over his chest, “we both know why I’m here.” 

“If you know then you should have no troubles saying it,” I smirked harder, leaning back into my seat as I copied his posture. He frowned at me before looking away, cheeks turning red. 

“Because I wasn’t paying attention.” He grunted.  
“And why weren’t you paying attention?”  
“Because I was writing.”  
“Writing what exactly?” I pressed, trying to see how far I could push him. He finally snapped and, as he glared at me and growled.  
“I was writing the lead up to an erotic scene between you and I.” He responded bluntly, finally having enough off my teasing.

I smirked harder at the admission, amusement crossing my features. He was still the same headstrong and blunt brat I remembered. At least he was still the same in those respects. 

His features shifted slightly and he stopped looking angry at me after a moment passed and I would have to be blind to miss the sudden lust in his eyes and I could feel the air shift. It only made it harder to keep myself on this side of the desk.

Lowering my head and shaking it, “you’re the same as ever,” I thought.  
It wasn’t until Eren said ‘what?’ that I realized I had spoken aloud. I wasn’t supposed to give away any hints that I knew him. 

“Nothing,” I huffed and returned to looking at Eren with a longing look in my eyes. He shifted in his seat and broke the silence that seemed to drag on with a quiet voice.  
“S-so, am I in trouble or…” 

I sighed and uncrossed my arms, pinching the bridge of my nose before looking to him. He wasn’t in trouble and I didn’t plan on giving him anything to worry about; but I did want to play with him a little.

Even if he didn’t have the same feelings for me from our previous life, he very obviously had an attraction to me: I could see it plain as day.

“Look, as a professional and your teacher I found it highly inappropriate,” no I didn’t, “you shouldn’t have been writing something like that for several reasons. One; you’re a minor and yet you’re writing things like that? Two; I am your teacher and an adult, that in itself is a warning bell. Three; you only just met me,” But he hadn’t. He had seen me in his dreams. I was positive of it because he had referred to me as ‘captain’ in his story.

I stood and made my way around my desk, stopping in front of Eren before leaning back against the wooden furniture. Looking down at his patient and expectant gaze instantly reminded me of all the times I had had him on his knees; ready to obey and submit. 

“But as a man who happens to find one of his students rather attractive and desirable,” I lowered my voice and felt a smug expression creep onto my features as Eren tensed up, “I happened to find it very hard not to let the class know just how much I enjoyed reading what you wrote.”

The look he gave me was priceless. He was totally dumbfounded; wondering if this was some joke and the punishment was about to come. But I remained silent as he shifted uncomfortably in his seat and played with his hands.

“Ah… So does that mean I’m not in trouble?” He chewed on his bottom lip as I chuckled and shook my head.

“No… not this time at least. Just don’t let me catch you writing that kind of stuff again, especially in my class. Even though I enjoyed it, I still am your teacher and you’re my students, I get paid to teach you so you better learn. If I catch you writing like that in my class again I might just have to punish you. Got it brat?” I couldn’t help but call him that; especially after offering up a punishment. He was just too easy to play with.

He stared up at me, eyes darting back and forth between mine as he tried to comprehend what I had just said.

Eren quickly nodded before bolting out of the room, not before I caught a sight of the bulge in his pants.

Smirking, I returned to my seat, thankful that my jacket semi-covered my own boner.

Groaning, I bit my lip before opting to unzipping my pants and taking my hard length into my right hand, thoughts of Eren’s curious and confused face sifting through my mind.

He was going to be fun to toy with in this life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is insane. Thank you all so much for the hits.


	5. Chapter five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren's last class is sport and he finds out that the classes have been divided between two teachers.  
> Guess who the new teacher is?

Eren  
Nearly a week had passed since Levi had invited me into his office and I hadn’t stopped thinking about it. 

The suggestive tones and ideas; the way he was watching me like he was some kind of predator and I was his prey. But what really drove me mad, left me burning with curiosity, was the way he kept acting like he knew me. It frustrated me to no end. Why did he keep acting like that?

I mean, I kind of knew him, through my dreams. But that wasn’t real. That world was just my imagination and Levi as a captain was just something my brain conjured up for whatever reason and then he just happened to be a real person who seemed hell bent on making my life uncomfortable.

But I couldn’t deny that, even though he had made me feel so anxious, I was undeniably attracted to the man. 

Every time I had English I would always sit towards the front, eager to be closer to this man; to watch the way he moved and attentively listen to his voice. And every time he looked at me I felt a strange pull. There was always that hungry gaze in his eyes and that look like he was remembering something. On more than one occasion I would catch him staring at me when the class was busy with their work. Under that intense gaze I would always flush red and hurriedly go back to my work.

I didn’t write any more scenes about him in his class; worried he might embarrass me again. Since last time several people had asked what I had written but I didn’t let them know; it was none of their business. 

Instead I would wait until I got home and let all that tension that came just from his gaze flow onto the page. I wrote about us together in battle, moving together as one unit to take down invading titans. I wrote about him dominating me in ways that made it very difficult to look into his eyes when saying; ‘yes sir’ in the class room. I’m positive he noticed it too because his eyes would light up and I could see his shoulders tense and he would take a moment too long before continuing.

Some part of my brain was trying to convince me that I had an effect on him; that, if I played my cards right, could make him melt like I did whenever he did something. I always quickly dismissed those thoughts, believing they were too ridiculous to concern myself with for too long. 

Instead I just focused on not letting him embarrass me in class again.

*****  
It was now Friday and Armin and I were in the boy’s locker rooms of the stadium, changing into what we considered sporty clothes but were, in actually fact, just sweat pants and loose shirts.

“Did you hear that they’re splitting the sport classes up now?” Armin said as we began packing our other clothes back into our bags and I shook my head, fishing around my bag for my can of deodorant.

“No, when did that happen?” 

“Start of this week; so the whole class has been split into two groups and the other half is gonna be on Mondays with Moblit and we’re still gonna be on a Friday with some new teacher that’ll be starting with us today.” He explained, zipping up his bag and shoving it underneath the seats. 

“Hopefully it’s another hot teacher,” I grinned and Armin rolled his eyes, starting to head out the door and into the stadium. “Hey, deny it all you want but you think that Levi’s hot just like I do!” I laughed and he looked back at me to say something before he stopped and glanced behind me, cheeks dusting pink and he turned away again, beginning to laugh.

I frowned and, as someone cleared their throat behind me, I felt my heart stop. I slowly turned and saw Levi standing a few feet from me, a smug look on his face, eyebrow raised. He had on a tight white t-shirt and grey sweatpants similar to mine except because his were smaller they clung to his legs more and sat low on his hips in a way that made it hard for me to raise my eyes when he cleared his throat again. 

“Are you alright Eren?” He questioned and I could hear the smirk in his voice before I saw it and when I did I huffed in embarrassment, cheeks going red before turning away and hurrying to join the rest of the class.

I slapped Armin’s arm as he snickered at my flushed face but quickly fell silent as Levi stood in front of the class and looked at us all slowly before his eyes fell on me and I quickly looked away, not wanting to meet his gaze. 

“Right, so as some of you already know I’m Levi Ackerman, Mr. Ackerman to you; and you’ve probably guessed by now that I’m your new teacher. I see a lot of confused faces, yes I teach English but I’m also qualified to teach sports. Now, let’s get to it shall we?” Levi’s face was in its usual scowl as he made everyone line up in two lines, Armin and myself in the front line.

Levi went to the front and faced us, taking a moment to check our lines before nodding to himself.

“Right, so, has anyone here done taekwondo before; or any other martial art?” He looked expectantly at us but no one raised their hands; except for me.  
I slowly lifted my arm and his eyes quickly found mine, steel grey gaze looking to me expectantly. 

“Eren? What have you done before?” His gaze was so intense that I found it hard to find my voice for a moment before I finally managed to croak out. 

“I did some self-defense a few years back…” I murmured and could have sworn I saw Levi bite back a smirk. 

“Well, why don’t you come up here and show me what you learnt?” He snickered and my mind instantly flashed back to when he asked me to let him read my story. I opened my mouth to say something before closing it again and stepping up to him, looking down at him slightly. I could see the smug look in his eyes and I suddenly felt the urge to put him flat on his ass. 

“Am I allowed to really take a swing at you…?” I asked softly and he nodded but didn’t move. I had expected him to move into some form of fighting stance but he didn’t.

I inwardly shrugged it off and took a breath, my eyes shut, before I opened them and stepped back slightly. Then, within a second, I met his gaze and then swung my fist at him. 

Suddenly I was on the floor, white circles dancing in front of my eyes and a heavy feeling in my gut, forcing the breath out of my lungs. In the previous two seconds I had felt a hand on my wrist and then what I assumed was an elbow in my stomach, then his leg was around mine and I was on the floor. 

Blinking away the white lights, I came to the realization that he was above me, pinning me down. He had his hands wrapped tightly around my wrists, arms above my head and pushed against the floor. He had one knee pushed into my stomach, that explained the heavy feeling I felt even though he was light in weight, and the other knee was between my legs, a little too close to my crotch. 

“I thought you said you did self-defense,” he snickered, eyes dancing with a playful look and I felt his knee shift further towards my crotch and I could feel the blood begin to rush down south. I scowled inwardly and squirmed a little underneath him, trying to free my arms but he just pushed them harder into the floor and I gasped softly. 

“I-I did!” I yelled out and tried lifting my hips to get him off but only ended up dropping myself harder onto his knee and making myself bit into my lip to stop any noise escaping me. He raised an eyebrow and leaned forward, pushing his weight onto my wrists and making his knee press harder against my partial. I should not have worn sweats. I knew by now that he could definitely feel that I had a hard on and was purposefully trying to make things worse. 

I stared up at him, emerald green meeting steel grey and felt an odd twist in my stomach and my brain took on a whole new idea to the position we were in which certainly didn’t help my erection. I could see the glint in his eyes which meant he could feel exactly what he was doing to me. 

I hated myself for wanting to kiss him in that moment. I hated the way my body was reacting because I knew we could never do anything; what with our social positions and all. Not that they were the kind of positions I wanted to be thinking about…

“If you did self-defense then why are you on your ass Eren?” He was snickering at me.

Fucking asshole. I scowled and glared up at him. 

“Because it was years ago when I did it and you’re obviously trained in something else!” I snapped at him, not caring if he was the teacher or not. He was crossing the line as well, so why couldn’t I? 

He smirked once more before suddenly drawing back and standing. He kept a grip on my wrist and pulled me up with him, my body pressing against his as he helped me keep my balance before he stepped back and nodded towards the line and I gratefully went back to it. 

The rest of the class was staring at me and I prayed to god they hadn't noticed the bulge in my pants. I knew Armin had; but that was only because he knew I was attracted to Levi and knew exactly what kind of reaction that position would’ve made me have.

My cheeks were burning and I stared towards the floor as Levi proceeded to explain what I had done wrong and how to avoid repeating my mistakes.

That lesson consisted of Levi showing us a few basic taekwondo punches and blocks and repeatedly telling us that if we ever used any of the moves he showed us to start fights around the school then he would personally track us down and give us a beating.

I had shuddered at the threat and then growled at myself for thinking that way. He was just a teacher!  
A teacher who kept appearing in my dreams as my lover and in my stories as a sexual partner…

At the end of the class he announced that we would be partnered up with someone for the rest of the term so that we would have someone to practise with and as it turned out, there was an odd number of students so someone would have to partner with Levi. I yelped inwardly and quickly turned to find Armin but spotted him standing with Marco. The traitor!

Glancing around I noticed that everyone had already partnered up and I was the only one left. Fuck, fuck, shit, help, Jesus.

“Haven’t you found a partner Eren?” Levi’s voice was quiet behind me and I turned to look down at him and it took all my focus not to let myself blush. “No sir…” I mumbled and glanced away. “I’m the only one left.” I sighed and looked back at him. He was smirking; like usual. Prick.

“Well I guess you’re the lucky one who gets me as your partner. You’d better behave yourself or you’ll get your ass kicked Eren.” He gave me a smug look and then the bell rang out through the stadium, breaking into the quiet moment we had had together just then. 

He turned back to the class and announced that next week we would be working on kicks and stances, but for now we should practice what we had learnt and come back the following week ready to show off how much we had practiced. 

I almost ran to the change rooms and grabbed my bag. Sport had been the last class of the day so I practically flew home and dumped my bag, grabbed my writing book and a pen; eager to write out the scene that had happened earlier, but with a slightly different lead up and ending. 

Sport was going to be fun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Forgive me for not updating sooner! I had a bit of block on how to get this chapter going even though I already knew I wanted a sport lesson for this one.  
> As always, please leave a kudos and a comment and maybe even bookmark! Constructive criticism and possible chapter ideas are welcome! I love you and thank you for all the views and kudos'!! <3


	6. Chapter six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kinda a filler chapter. Eren writes the scene between himself and Levi just a little bit differently and then you meet his mummy~!

Eren

_The Captain made fast work of my harness, expertly unbuckling them and slipping them off my body._

_My hands danced over his, unable to keep up with the rushed pace that he was kicking off with but it didn’t matter; as soon as mine were off he set about removing his own as well as his shirt. I almost drooled watching the white fabric slide from his toned body. He was nothing but muscle thanks to all these years of hard training and I envied the defined edges he had to his body._

_I wanted to reach out and run my hands over every curve; to memorize the way they dipped and how the muscles writhed under his skin. It wasn’t until I felt the mattress suddenly beneath me and my hands being pressed back into the pillows that I realized I had actually reached out for him._

_He smirked down at me, eyes dancing with absolute lust and longing. I squirmed slightly, testing his grip which, as usual, was like iron._

_“Ah, ah, bad boy… You know you’re not allowed to touch without permission.” His voice was playful but I could hear the commanding tone that was starting to edge into it. His voice in the bedroom, even though he still gave commands, was different to the one he used while training. Out there, his voice made me jump and I always quickly obeyed his orders because his voice almost scared me._

_But I knew he never meant it that way._

_In the bedroom however, when his voice dropped and got low and husky, his commands would make me melt and eagerly obey, desperate for his praise – and sometimes punishment, which felt just as good -. I always wanted to please him._

_“Sorry Sir~” I replied just as playfully, my voice light and with a fake note of innocence even though I had none left._

_I had accidentally still called him ‘sir’ once while in the bedroom and we had both had rather interesting reactions to it so we decided that, depending on the kind of mood we were in and where our night was heading, I would call him ‘sir’ and obey him just as I did out in training._

_“Good boy,” he murmured and brought his lips down to mine, keeping my hands pinned above my head as I eagerly tried leaning up to meet his kiss which he let me. Our lips pushed together and I could taste the sweetness of his and the fresh taste of peppermint toothpaste. Only he would brush his teeth in the middle of the day._

_I made a soft sound, letting him know I wanted more but he just kept the kiss light and slow, driving me insane. I wanted him and I wanted him now, dammit!_

_Wriggling my hips, I tried finding some form of friction for my already hard length. I felt him shift, weight being pressed further against my wrists as he brought his knee up and gave me what I desired. I quickly rutted down against his knee as he pushed it against me with a smirk. The kiss broke as I mewled softly_ , _whimpering for more._

_“P-please Sir… Don’t tease…” I whined and his smirk only grew._

_“Please what? I can’t give you anything if I don’t know what you want Eren,” he purred and tilted his head, pressing small kisses along my jawline, moving down to my neck. I tilted my head back, offering my neck to him and he nipped at the skin before moving lower, to my shoulder, and started to bite and suck at a certain spot._

_We had made the mistake once of letting him give me a hickey on a visible spot on my neck and that had resulted in multiple people seeing it and then all the commanders and adults decided that the 104th squad needed a big talk on how we shouldn’t be fooling around at our age and also during a war._

_So that put us on high alert. If either of us wanted to leave a mark, it would have to be where no one could see it… But we would know._

_“I want you… I want you in-inside me, please Sir.” I was still nervous with dirty talk, but I knew Levi liked it and if it excited him it excited me. And it definitely excited him. He groaned softly and pulled back._

_Gazing up into his eyes I could see the raw lust that was shining in them; need displayed clearly on his face. I also knew that his face was mirroring my own. I could feel the heat creeping through my cheeks and the way my vision was getting hazy. I wanted Levi so badly it almost hurt._

_“Please Captain...” I ground my hips harder against his thigh and whined softly. “I need you.”_

_I_ _half moaned and squirmed underneath him, voice growing needier with every breath. He finally let my wrists go and brought his hands down to cup my face and brought our lips together again before trailing his hands down towards my belt and pants._

_I kept my hands on the mattress and let him take my pants off. I whimpered softly as my erection sprang free when he removed the cloth of my briefs._

_“So excited and we’ve barely even started,” he smirked and began kissing his way over my collar bones and over my chest, pausing at my nipples to playfully bite and suck at them, going from one to the other slowly, his eyes locked with mine the whole time._

_I shifted and whined, silently begging him with my eyes to just take me now; to show me that I was his and he was mine. To remind me that no matter how badly things were going to shit outside of the walls; within the walls of his bedroom, things were ok._

_Everything was fine because we were both here; alive and so desperately in love with one another._

 

I paused my writing to stop and think about the idea of Levi and I being together and being in love.

I felt strangely attracted to the thought of not only being physically intimate with Levi, but to know him inside and out; to be the one who he let all his guards down around; to be the one to make him smile instead of scowl. A shiver ran through me and I had to quickly shake my head and press the palms of my hands against my closed eyes to distract myself before I let the thought run away too far.

This was all just fantasy. Levi and I fighting creatures called titans and coming together as lovers was all just some story my mind had created and made me dream of night after night since I hit puberty. Some things I could connect in terms of plot; but other things I couldn’t. A lot of the time my dreams were broken and disconnected and I was always left confused as to what was happening, but it always ended up giving me inspiration for my stories so I got over it.

Though in this past week however; Captain Levi has been dominating my dreams a lot more often than he used to. He used to just show up occasionally if my dreams called for it, but since meeting his real life counterpart I had pretty much dreamt about Levi and I together as lovers nearly every night. It made things even more difficult for me to be around him when every time I saw him I would picture those black harness straps across his chest and wound around his thighs.

I would picture him taking control and fucking me until I couldn’t think straight anymore.

I would picture him gliding through the air with absolute perfect grace as he used his gear and took down armies of titans.

It was beginning to drive me insane the fact that I couldn’t just see him as a normal teacher anymore. No, I just had to have erotic dreams about him all night and imagine what it would be like to be his lover.

Undoubtedly that was something I wanted, I won’t lie; I wanted to feel his arms around me, to feel our bodies moving together, to really come together in every sense.

But I knew we could never do that. Even if he wanted that as well, the rules of society would keep us apart. I was a minor and he was my teacher.

Those two factors would get either one or both of us some serious jail time.

“Eren! It’s dinner time!” I heard my mother’s voice faintly calling to me so I quickly took out my headphones and hid my writing book before hurrying downstairs to find my mother beginning to plate up three meals for herself, me and my father who was already seated at the dining table.

“Thank you Mama,” I smiled and gave her a peck on the cheek before taking my plate and then my seat, waiting for everyone to be seated and ready to eat before beginning to dig into my meal.

I was proudly a mummy’s boy; I had a protectiveness over my mother that I call only explain as just pure love. She was always so comforting and loving, was always there for me when I needed her and gave me her full support when I came out to her as gay.

She was always happy and worried about my well being and although that was annoying sometimes, I knew she meant well.

She really was a perfect mother and I didn’t know what I would do with myself if something ever happened to her.

“How is school going sweetie?” She asked with a smile as she began to eat. I nodded and smiled, waiting a moment to finish my mouthful before speaking; she hated it when I spoke with my mouth full.

“Things are going well I guess; same as usual.” I shrugged and scooped a forkful of mash potatoes into my mouth.

“And what about that new teacher that you mentioned? Acka- Ackery… What was it again?” I felt my face slowly starting to heat up again but I forced any thoughts away. “Ackerman… Mr. Ackerman.” I corrected and she nodded.

“That’s it, yes; you were grumpy about him at the start of the week. Have things gotten any better?” I held back a snort. If having more erotic dreams than a sex addict and sporting more boners in one class that ever before was considered as things ‘getting better’ then hell yeah things have been getting a lot better.

Instead I just shrugged. “He’s ok… Oh, he’s also my new sports teacher; the class got split into two groups and the other half is with Moblit on a Monday now.” I informed her, returning to my food. I had to get Levi out of my head before my thoughts started going places that shouldn’t while at the dinner table.

“An English teacher and a sport teacher, well at least he’s making use of his qualifications I suppose…” Mum mused thoughtfully, picking at her meal a bit before smiling at me again, “so what is he teaching you in sport then?” Dammit mum. Please, just drop the conversation.

“He’s showing us some taekwondo moves…” I murmured, really not wanting to talk about how be put me flat on my ass… and gave me a boner not ten seconds afterwards.

“Oh my! They’re letting him teach something so violent at a school?” She was shocked. She never liked violence and hated it when I took my self-defense classes.

“He’s only going to be showing us the basics; nothing major. Just a few punches and blocks and, if we showed some promise with how we were going, he said he may even show us a few kicks.” I tried calming her down and reminding her that it wasn’t an actual taekwondo class, just some basics. She still didn’t seem pleased.

“If I find out you get into a fight at school because you now think you can take on any one, so help young man I will fight you myself.” She warned, though she still smiled at me lightly, not wanting to really appear angry. She absolutely hated getting angry and very, very rarely did it. When she did, you knew you had fucked up big time. I rolled my eyes and smiled.

“I know Mama, I won’t get into any fights, I promise.” She nodded; the warning still in her look but her eyes were warm.

Like most nights, my father remained silent and let my mother and I do all the talking. I preferred it this way.

Anything that came out of his mouth was either shaming me for being gay or shaming me for basically any reason he could think of. So him not saying anything was a godsend.

Once dinner was finished I said goodnight to my mother and grunted at my father before heading back to my room to make a start on some of my homework before the weekend came.

I had thought about my writing book, but the inspiration was gone and I hated writing when there was no spark to it. It just made everything bland.

It was 2 AM by the time I finally decided that I could no longer stare at any more maths equations and needed to go to sleep. So after changing into pyjama pants and not bothering with a shirt, I curled up under the blankets and took no time at all drifting off to sleep; eager to see what Captain Levi might do to me in my dream tonight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if this chapter seemed a little OOC or just plain boring but I wanted to introduce Carla and I also needed just something to update with. I promise more of the plot will be coming in soon!
> 
> Please don't forget to comment, leave a kudos or bookmark! 
> 
> I'm pitifulstudies on Tumblr if you want to message me! I promise I try to respond to everyone when it comes to messages or comments.  
> Maybe have a guess at what you think will happen in the story!


	7. Chapter seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another Taekwondo class with Levi, but with a slight turn of events.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM SO, SO UNBELIEVABLY SORRY. I know it took me yonks to update and this chapter probably doesn't make up for much but we are starting to get a little bit into some plot now so hooraaay!!  
> Thank you so much for your patience and thank you for sticking around this long <3 <3 <3 It means a lot.

Eren  
  
Another week had gone by and it was Friday once more. Over the weekend I had met up with Armin several times to study, although I mainly just lazed around and didn't study as hard as he did.  
There was a reason he was the top student in basically every class he took. I honestly wouldn't be surprised at this point if he was the best student in classes he wasn't even taking. He was always studying; writing out notes before each class, revising over his work as soon as he gets home and even listening to audios of terms he'd record himself.

Now that, was dedication.

Dedication that I, unfortunately, lacked.  
  
I had come to the realization that, despite being a writer and devoting almost all of my spare time to writing out scenes between myself and Levi, I was actually horrible at English. I could understand well enough what was asked of me, but getting my ideas from my brain onto the page was a rough process that I could never get the hang of when it came to school work.  
  
Armin had suggested that I ask the teacher for help, but since that teacher happened to be Levi, I was very reluctant to the idea of asking him to tutor me. Although... Being alone with Levi didn't seem like such a bad idea if I knew it wasn't going to end up with us being swamped by tension and a desire I was beginning to notice he seemed to have towards me the same as I did to him. I knew it would result in me getting a boner and not paying any attention to anything he said.   
But still.... I was a little bit tempted to ask, just to see what Levi would do. If it was any other teacher I probably wouldn't bother asking for tutoring.   
  
  
"You know full well that studying with me isn't helping you Eren. You only study with me because I make you feel like you're actually getting your work done." Armin scolded me when I brought up the argument that it was enough just studying with him.  
We were in the change rooms of the gym, pulling on our usual get up of sweats and random shirts. I had made sure to wear tighter briefs than normal to make sure that I could keep any erections I was sure I was going to get pinned down. Hopefully.  
  
"That is so not true." I scowled, frowning as I glanced away. Armin raised an eyebrow and tilted his head at me.  
"Whatever, believe what you want, but studying with me obviously isn't enough for you to improve your work. You need to get extra help Eren." He sighed and headed out into the stadium, leaving me alone in the change rooms, sighing.  
  
I didn't want to admit that I needed help. I didn't like having to ask for it and I hated people pitying me.   
  
"You planning on movin' anytime soon Jaeger, or are you just going to stare into the void like the brainless idiot you are?"   
A voice broke through into my thoughts and I instantly frowned upon hearing it.  
I turned to face Jean Kirstein with a scowl on my face.  
  
"Fuck off horse face." I growled and moved to the bench where my bag was. I busied myself by shoving my other clothes inside and hanging it up onto one of the hooks.  
  
"What? Not even going to deny that you're brainless?" He snickered, moving closer behind me.   
Ooh, I was ready to punch him in the nose and break it. He pissed me off to no end without even trying and it was always a great effort to not hit him.  
  
"I said fuck off Kirstein. Honestly, the only reason I'm not punching you right now is because you're dating and living with my sister and I'd rather not have to deal with her lectures on getting into fights with her punk ass boyfriend. That and we're not allowed violence at school." I grumbled, facing him once more. He raised an eyebrow and his smirk faltered a little.  
  
"You're so not how you used to be," I heard him murmur under his breath. I frowned harder and tilted my head, growing agitated.   
"What the fuck do you mean by that?" I was so confused. Jean and I only knew each other from high school, even then we had only run into each other about two years ago where we had a fight in the yard that resulted in threats of both of us getting expelled if we repeated the action.   
He didn't know me well enough to claim I 'wasn't how I used to be'.  
  
Jean must have realized he had said the sentence aloud because his expression quickly changed from brief shock to a scowl.   
"I don't mean anything, now move asshole." He growled.  
  
I frowned harder at him but the blow of a whistle from the stadium caught our attention and we quickly ran out, shoving at each other to try and get in first before Levi noticed we weren't there.  
  
"Kirstein! Jaeger!"   
  
Fuck.  
  
We both turned to look apologetically towards Levi who was glaring at us.   
"Punctuality is something I look for in my student's boys, it would pay for you to be on time in the future." He growled and we lowered our heads, mumbling a 'yes sir' before finding our spots in the two lines he had made everyone else make.   
  
"What do you two think you're doing? I never said you could get into the lines." Levi crossed his arms across his chest. The chest that was pulling against the fabric of his tight black shirt, displaying every delicious muscle.  
Oh fuck.  
  
"Since both of you were late... No Kirstein I do not give a fuck that it was only ten seconds, you will both be doing laps of the stadium until the end of class while we all get to learn how to make a proper fighting stance and maybe even learn some kicks." He smirked at our obvious looks of disappointment.  
  
"Fuck you Horse, this is your fault," I growled quietly to him as we began to do our laps.   
"Shove it up your ass, Jaeger."

  
  
  
By the time the bell rang I was nearly ten laps ahead of Jean, just finishing my fortieth lap before I slumped into one of the stadium chairs, panting hard. My lungs were on fire and I couldn't feel my legs anymore.  
  
"Jesus Christ Eren, did you really run that whole time?" Armin asked as he came up to me, a concerned expression on his face and a water bottle in hand.   
I took the bottle when he offered it and nodded with a groan.   
"I'm dead Armin. I think I left my soul somewhere back on my twentieth lap." I whined and he laughed softly.   
He took a seat next to me and rested his elbow on his knee, head supported by his hand. He watched me for a moment as I drowned myself with water, throat desperately dry.   
  
"He's the devil I swear." I huffed once I had quenched my thirst. Armin chuckled softly and shook his head.  
"He may be the devil but I made an observation today that might make you happy."  
I quirked an eyebrow and Armin smirked a little.  
  
"You keep going on and on about how much you hate him, but I know you find him attractive so it may please you to know that he was watching you run ninety-five percent of the time. His focus was hardly on us at all."   
I felt my heart skip a small beat as Armin's grin grew wider.   
I shook my head after a moment and scoffed softly. "You're delirious Armin. I'm pretty sure he's more professional than that." I didn't believe my own words and Armin wasn't buying it either. He raised a skeptical eyebrow.

"Professional huh? What about that shit he pulled when he first got here, hm? In his office? You told me what happened yourself unless you were lying and he didn't really say that he found you attractive." I glared at him and he sighed, rolling his eyes at me with a 'whatever' shrug before standing and tilting his head towards the doors.  
  
"Come on, let's grab our bags and get out of here, yeah?"   
I nodded eagerly and jumped up, glad to be away from the conversation of Levi finding me attractive. As much as i may have fancied my teacher and yes, admittedly, a part of me _did_ wish that he also found me attractive, I didn't want to discuss it with my friend right in front of Levi.

 I glanced back at Levi who was talking to Marco across the other side of the stadium. Almost as soon as my eyes went over to where he was, his silver gaze flickered over to me. I felt my breath catch and my cheeks suddenly felt hot under the intense stare so I quickly looked away and joined Armin in the change rooms.  
  
As we began to leave, Marco passed us. Realizing that Levi would now be by himself, I paused.  
"I think... I think I will ask Levi for help." I said suddenly and Armin gave me a slightly confused look for a moment before remembering our earlier conversation and a smug look crossed his features.  
"So you _do_ wanna get some alone time with him huh?" He snickered and quickly ducked away when I swung my bag at him.   
  
Flipping him off, I told him I would catch up later then turned and headed back into the stadium.   
  
I was not expecting to see Levi with his shirt off, pants hanging low on his hips and standing in the same fighting stance I had seen him teaching everyone earlier.   
It looked so much more professional than what he had been showing the others, so I paused in the doorway and decided to watch for a moment, wondering what he would do.   
  
He then suddenly launched into a series of punches and an elbow strike before spinning into a turning heel kick then coming around again for a sidekick. He held the pose perfectly, balanced on one leg with his other extended at a high angle. It would easily reach someone's face if they were six foot. Surprising, considering his short stature.   
  
I stared, almost captivated by the flawless form. And those muscles. Fuck me.   
My fingers twitched, I ached to touch those dips and curves, to feel every inch of his creamy skin.   
  
I was was in the middle of fantasizing about running my hands down his chest with him lying over me when I was disturbed.   
  
"Is staring a passion of yours or something Jaeger?"   
  
"Huh?" I came back to reality to find that Levi had returned to a normal standing pose and was watching me with his stern gaze. My face flushed and I glanced down to my feet, worrying my bottom lip between my teeth as I heard Levi walking towards the benches and grabbing his water bottle.   
Glancing up I watched him take a long swig from the container before wiping his mouth with the back of his hand and taking a few steps closer to me.  
  
"So are you going to say anything or are you just going to stand there and be creepy? Who knows what kind of shit is running through that twisted little mind of yours." He smirked, almost as if he saw through me and knew what I had been thinking.  
  
I grunted and furrowed my eyebrows at him. "Shut up pervert," I snapped, though... He hadn't been wrong in his assumptions. "I came back to ask if I could get some help," I admitted reluctantly.  
This admission earned me a strange look from Levi.   
  
"Eren Jaeger? Asking for help? Well...Fuck me." He let out a short breathy laugh while I nearly died from the words.  
Oh how i wish I could fuck you, Levi Ackerman....  
  
"Don't laugh at me asshole... I'm failing English and I need help. Why can't you just be a normal fucking teacher and help me?" I scowled, crossing my arms over my chest.  
He simply rolled his eyes at me.  
"Only you would swear at your teacher," he shook his head and sighed quietly. It had moved past the point of irritation that he kept talking like he knew me and I had become almost intrigued by his behaviour.   
"Alright fine... I'll help as best I can on two conditions. One; if your grades don't start improving then you find someone else to help you. And two; I hate staying late at school and I avoid it when I can, I also assume that both of us would rather spend our lunch times doing something better than tutoring, so, we will arrange for times when it will suit both of us and we will do the tutoring at my house." He said matter-of-factly, looking at me in such a way that was almost challenging me to argue with the conditions.   
  
I paused, making sure I had heard him right before I opened my mouth to speak, furrowing my brows in slight confusion.   
"You- you want me to go to your  _house_?" I blinked at him questioningly. Surely he hadn't suggested that we study at his house. His private home. The place that was probably his temple and he was it's God. No way.  
  
"That's what I said brat, what? You need hearing aids or something?" He snorted, looking at me with that familiar humour in his eyes. I allowed myself to get caught up in that mixture of grey and silver for a moment, my gaze trailing down slowly to look over his soft, pink lips. I chewed on my own bottom lip slowly.  
  
"You alright there Jaeger?" Levi's voice broke through to my thoughts once more. "Seriously. I think you could take up staring as a hobby." He snickered, a smirk quirking at the corners of his mouth.   
I felt my cheeks heat up and I looked away.  
  
"Alright, fine. I agree to those conditions. Thank you for helping me." I mumbled and quickly bolted for the door.  
I just couldn't behave normally when I was around him. All my composure and brains went out the window.   
  
Before I could make it out of the door, i felt a hand grab my forearm to stop me. Looking back, I met Levi's eyes again.   
"You ran off before I could say one more thing." His eyes were somewhat calmer than normal and he seemed to be serious for once. Shock horror.  
  
"W-what?" I stammered, my heart racing at the close proximity we had. He stepped back slightly and held out his hand.  
"Give me your phone."   
I frowned slightly, but when he shook his hand in annoyance that I wasn't complying quick enough, I whipped out my phone and passed it to him.   
I watched him find the contacts icon and tap it.  
Was he...?  
  
He was.  
Levi passed back my phone with the smallest of smiles.  
  
"Text me tomorrow when you're free and we can meet up for your first lesson." He nodded, meeting my eyes for confirmation.   
I stared at him for a moment longer before nodding and rushing out the door.  
  
I had Levi's phone number. 

Holy shit.

  
God help me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now, even though I have updated now, I can't promise a regular updating schedule from here on. I'll try, i promise I will, but things happen and sometimes I just can't. But! I will try! I pinky promise, swear on Ereri <3
> 
> Comment, favourite and kudos <3 Mwah! Love you reader <3 Thank you.


	8. Chapter eight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren goes to Levi's house for his first tutoring lesson.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I've said it before, but I am honestly so sorry that I have such a shitty updating schedule. Who am I kidding? We all know by now that I don't even have a schedule. Please believe me when I say I really do intent to finish this story. Ir'll just take me some time to get here. I really appreciate everyone who waits for me and still supports me, it really does mean a lot.  
> I apologize that this chapter isn't amazing, but it's an opening to the study lessons which will become more detailed in future chapters.

Eren  
  
Saturday morning came quicker than I wanted it to and yet I had gotten up an hour earlier than normal so I could shower, get myself dressed, have breakfast and have my bag packed with the work I needed help on. I was now sitting on my bed, phone unlocked in front of me, with Levi's contact open. There was no photo, which I planned to fix, so the anonymous grey head was staring back at me, taunting me. 

  
"Just do it. Just text him, he said that was ok right?" I muttered to myself, trying to will my hand to pick up the phone. After another five minutes of deliberating, I finally picked up the phone and closed my eyes, letting out a breath. With that breath, I pressed the message icon, ready to finally send a text to Levi.  
  
"Hello?"  
I froze when I heard a voice coming from the other end of my phone. Opening my eyes I realized that I hadn't pressed the message button at all. I had hit the call button!

  
"Hello?" The voice repeated itself, the tone becoming irritated. Panicking I lifted the phone to my ear. Fuck fuck shit, dammit. I hadn't meant to call Levi!

  
"Uh.... L-Levi? It's Eren." I responded, hoping he wouldn't be too angry with me calling him even though he had only said to text.

  
"Eren? Didn't I say to text me?" He scowled and I winced. "You really don't like following orders do you?" I heard a faint snicker in his voice and I felt my face flush.

  
"Sh-shut up! I didn't mean to call you, I accidentally hit the wrong button ok?" I retorted with a huff and Levi just chuckled faintly.

  
"How stupid do you have to be to stuff up something like that?"

  
"Piss off!"  
"Now now Eren, that's no way to talk to your teacher." He reprimanded. 

  
"Says the one who said he thought a 'certain student was attractive'." I threw back at him and he was silent for a moment.

  
"Touche. Now what do you want?" He sighed.

 

"I was going to let you know that I'm free all day and I'm ready to come over for tutoring if you're ready for me." I answered, eyes closed. I still couldn't believe I was going to be going to Levi's  _house_. 

  
"Yeah I'm ready for you, what's your address? I'll come pick you up." He offered and I was quiet for a moment. Did I hear that right? Levi wanted to come pick me up? The hell? It's not like we were going on a date.

  
"It's ok, you tell me your address and I can walk, you don't have to come get me." I said quietly, questioning why my heart had started beating just a little bit faster.   
Levi clicked his tongue on the other end of the call.

  
"I live too far away for you to walk I can absolutely guarantee it. Just tell me your damn address Jaeger." He demanded in a harsh tone that made me shiver for reasons I didn't want to think about.  
"God, Yes  _sir._ " I sighed and tried to ignore the slight intake of breath Levi took. It was probably just my imagination.  
  
After giving Levi my address and him telling me to 'be ready within ten minutes', I sighed and hung up. Double checking I had all my books and anything else I might need, I double checked how I looked.  
I wasn't normally one to be particularly fussy over how I was dressed, but I liked looking nice. And today I had to be careful not to look like a slob, but to also look like I wasn't trying too hard. I had to stick with black skinny jeans because, well, yes they gave my ass a good lift and made my legs look damn fine. Sue me. I partnered them with a simple white T-shirt and a checkered green and black flannel shirt.  
Alright. Maybe I did want to look a little nicer than normal. A part of me just wanted to see what kind of reaction I might get from Levi. I knew I shouldn't let myself get too carried away by the idea that he found me attractive... But... I wanted to see what he would do.  
  
Heading outside I found mama in the garden once more. She was standing next to the row of roses that were positioned along the front of the house and she had her phone out, snapping away photos at different angles.  
"Morning mama! I'll be leaving soon to go to Levi's for tutoring." I said as I walked up to her and gave her a hug. She leaned back into it and kissed the top of my head gently.

  
"Morning, are you sure you want to go around to his house darling? Wouldn't it be better to just study at school?" She asked, slight concern in her voice. I smiled and shook my head.  
"It's alright mama, I don't mind going to his house." I reassured and she gave me a look before we were interrupted by the screeching of tires coming to a halt in the street. 

  
We both glanced over to wear a low and sleek silver car had pulled up in front of our house.  
"Ugh, idiots and their fancy cars." Mama scoffed and rolled her eyes, turning back to the roses.

  
I continued to stare at the car, frowning a little. Holy shit. That was a BMW M9. Who the hell could be driving a car like that around here?  
As if in answer to my unspoken question the driver side door opened and, like a model, none other than Levi Ackerman stepped out, the gentle breeze blowing his hair in just the right way that made me go from staring at the car to staring at him.   
Of course  _he_  would own a car like this. Who else would?

  
"That's my teacher mama." I murmured and kissed her cheek when she turned, a look of surprise on her face.  
"That's- Oh, oh.... He's quite handsome isn't he?" 

  
"Mama!" I hissed and she gave me a knowing look.  
"So the real reason you've been going on about him is not because you hate him but because you think he's attractive." Se snickered in that all-knowing, motherly way.  
"W-what? God no! Mom, he's my  _teacher_." I scowled, frowning though I could never be truly angry at her.

  
"I'm not stupid Eren. Now go along. Go study." She smiled and turned back to the roses once more after giving a brief wave to Levi, who nodded politely in return.  
His eyes found mine as I made my way down the driveway.  
"Nice house." He commented, a playful glint in his eyes, one that suggested he had heard everything mama had said. I just avoided his gaze, silently sliding into the car.  
  
We had been driving in silence for nearly ten minutes before i finally cracked.  
"Hi."  
Levi chuckled and i closed my eyes. Please don't make such a nice sound.  
"He finally speaks. Although, being rude to your teachers is kind of your specialty isn't it Jaeger?" He snickered, casting me a sideways glance before looking back to the long dirt road we had been driving down.  
"Oh shove off." I scowled and crossed my arms, glaring out the side window.

  
"Where the hell are we going? I swear, if I didn't know any better, I would think that you were driving me out to an empty feel to either murder or abandon me." Levi's silence went on for too long and I frantically looked at him.  
"Damn. You've caught me out." He said, face blank and unreadable. My heart sped up. Surely he wasn't serious.  
"You're kidding." I breathed. "You're just messing with me." I pressed, trying to get him to crack, although I couldn't hide the slight panic that had been shaping my expression.

  
Levi's lips twitched and he snorted. "God, you're so easy to tease. You're too much fun Jaeger." He shook his head and turned down another road.  
I frowned and slapped his arm.  
"You're such a fucking asshole. You don't get to make jokes like that, we're not that close yet." I huffed, slouching into the seat.  
"Your fault, you just make it so damn easy to rile you up." He sighed, slowing the car down as we approached a set of high gates that were centered between a long brick fence. He pulled up and pressed a button in the roof of the car and the gates opened, revealing a long driveway that was made of brick in a deep blue colour.

  
"This is so not your house." I scoffed, leaning forward to look out the window as we drove up and into a garage.  
"Is so my house brat." Levi scowled and parked the car, elegantly stepping from the car while I only just managed not to fall over.  
He lead me back outside from the garage and around a path that lead up along a row of rose and lavender bushes before ending at a small set of marble steps. Up the steps the area opened out onto a flat front entertainment area. To the right was a covered deck that had alfresco dining set up ready for any occasion. To the left was an L-shaped pool, the water shimmering brightly in the sun.

  
I stared around me. Goddamn. You'd think the man was a millionaire. He couldn't be... No way...  
Looking up, the house was tall, but not extremely wide. Looking along the side of the house, I could tell the lack of width was made up for in length.  
I snorted to myself at the thought. Maybe Levi was compensating for something. I hoped not.

  
"Something funny brat?" He questioned, glancing back at me as he lead me up more steps that brought us to the front door.  
"N-nothing. I was just thinking that your house looks like a whole bunch of shoe boxes stacked on top of each other." I hummed, stuffing my hands in my pockets. Nope. Definitely wasn't thinking about your dick at all.  
Levi growled at me and held the door open. "I helped design this stack of shoe boxes thank you very much." I paused and bit my lip. Oops. i had offended him.

  
"Sorry." I murmured and stepped inside.  
The interior of the house was much more favorable than the outside in my opinion. Everything was modern and sleek and, despite what little I knew of his character, it reflected Levi perfectly. It was spotlessly clean. And I mean. Spotless. If I wiped a finger over any surface I could guarantee that there wouldn't be even a single speck of dust.  
  
"Wow," I breathed, "do you hire someone to clean your house or something?" I breathed, looking around. Since the design of the house included a lot of floor to ceiling windows, most of them spanning along the entirety of the walls, a lot of light was flowing through the room, making everything shine brightly and almost sparkle.  
"No, I wouldn't trust any strangers in my home without me being around. I clean it myself on weekends usually, or when I get home from work." Levi answered easily, taking off his jacket and hanging it up in on a coat rack. 

"Hm... Yeah, that sounds like you." I chuckled and he made some noise of distaste but I ignored it.  
"How many people do you even let in your home? It's almost as if no one lives here." I remarked, kicking my shoes off and leaving them by the front door.   
"Straighten your damn shoes before I mess up your face brat." Levi snapped when he saw my shoes all over the place. I immediately complied, the tone in his voice telling me not to disobey.

  
"Jeez. Someone's got OCD. How  _do_  you manage to be a high school teacher surrounded by grotty, untidy teenagers?" I laughed.  
"It's the bane of my existence but leading is what I'm good at. Always have been." He murmured the last part and I tilted my head at the comment, but paid no further attention to it.   
Walking throughout the rest of the house showed me a front room that had nothing but windows for the walls. A plush looking lounge suit was centered in the room and sitting opposite it was a massive tv screen. Across from that room and on the other side of the entrance to the house was a smaller room that had actual walls, save for a small circular window that faced the front yard. Along each wall was a bookshelf that stood from floor to roof, every shelf had a book on it, in every space.   
  
"Nerd." I laughed to myself when I glanced inside and saw the copious amount of books.  
Leading straight down from the front door was a short hall that passed a set of stairs and opened out in a wide area that contained a kitchen to the left and an empty space that had a dining table set up on the right. Again, there were hardly any solid walls as it was mostly made up of glass. 

  
"You really like glass huh." I commented, setting my bag down at t chair next to the dining table.  
"Yeah, and?" Was all Levi came back with and I sighed. He walked off to the kitchen side and opened the fridge.  
"Oi brat, do you want a drink or something?" He asked. At least he had some host manners. "I've only got orange or apple juice, and I mean actual fruit juice not that store bought crap. Water, milk, a cider or two. Which do you want?" He looked at me questioningly.  
"Just orange juice, please." I hummed and wandered to the farthest wall that over looked his backyard while he grabbed some glasses.  
  
Despite the initial shoe box look to the place, I had to admit I really did love the interior and backyard. The patio was made up of blue toned bricks that extended directly back from the house. A few meters out, there was a set of steps that decended down into a circular pit that was ringed with a couch that looped all the way around it. A fireplace dominated the middle of the area.

  
"Ok, look, I know I bagged out the shape of the house, but I take it all back." Le

vi raised an eyebrow at me as he took a seat at the dining table and set our drinks down. "I love it and I think I kinda wanna live here." I laughed, grinning as I also took a seat.   
"It's all so modern and open, not to mention cleaner than a operating room."   
Levi snorted and the corner of his mouth quirked up.   
"I'll say thank you to the compliment. And in terms of you moving in," he met my gaze as a took a sip of my juice and ever so slightly bit the corner of his bottom lip, "we'll discuss that at a later date."   
I nearly choked on my juice and carefully set it down before I spilled it.

Before I could ask what he meant Levi nodded to my bag.   
"Alright, let's get on with this then. What exactly do you need help with?"

  
I sighed and pulled out my English books and I listed the things I was struggling with.  
He picked one from the list and we set out focusing on that for the rest of the morning until lunch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another big thank you to everyone for 1000 hits! We've finally made it! <3 <3 Here's to many more hits!


	9. Chapter nine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi has been tutoring Eren for two months now and this is how close they've become over that time.

Levi's POV  
"Care for a drink brat?" I asked Eren as he waltzed his way in front of me, heading for the kitchen as I took my shoes off and straightened them by the door. 

"Usual orange juice. Want a glass?" Eren called back to me and I heard him already grabbing two glasses and the slight pop of the fridge opening.  
I sighed and rolled my eyes. 

"Just make yourself at home brat." I snorted.  
Eren had recently started relaxing a lot more around me and at my house. I had been tutoring him every weekend for the past two months. At first he was very unnerved being in my home and was careful about everything he did.

About two weeks ago he had definitely relaxed more and I finally told him to just make himself at home because I was sick of him acting so cautious.  
Perhaps i shouldn't have opened my home up to him so much. He didn't go anywhere other than where I had said he was allowed and he didn't snoop, but he didn't sit with tense shoulders anymore, or awkwardly ask for a drink.

He just helped himself; like now.  
"You told me to do that remember? And I am happily taking you up on that offer since we both know I still love this place even though you've never let me go above the ground floor and I will definitely abuse the right to treat it like my home since I never will get to actually live in it." Eren smiled sweetly and held out a glass of orange juice to me.

I rolled my eyes and gave him a snort as I accepted the drink.  
"If you do well today maybe I ill let you have a peek upstairs." I offered quietly, turning my back and heading for the dining table where his books were already laid out on the table. I heard Eren gasp behind me and quickly jump into his seat.

"I'll do good, really good." He nodded, clearly motivated by my offer. Huh. I guess he could be obedient.  
I shook my head with a smile.

"Eager brat." I laughed and set my glass down. Sliding his book closer to him I pointed to the copy of a newspaper article.   
"Language analysis in under an hour, got it?" He nodded. "Good boy, start."

He grabbed his pen and furiously began reading over the page, making quick little notes and highlighting various lines.  
I watched him as he concentrated.  
He had gotten a lot better at ignoring me and paying more attention to the work in front of him. I'd found that this had also changed in the classroom.   
I would still catch him watching me, more often than any of the other students, and he would catch me staring at himself. I always walked by his desk to make sure he wasn't writing anything other than the tasks i had set which he didn't do in class anymore. I questioned whether he did them at all. I had to admit; I would be a little disappointed if he wasn't writing them anymore.

That scene he had written between myself, my old self, and himself was just so strikingly memorable. I remembered that time together... and he didn't.  
He didn't remember anything at all. He just had dreams he passed off as make believe and didn't realise that we had been lovers.  
I had thought I'd have more of a struggle having him in my home and not doing anything, but surprisingly I'd been able to keep my hands to myself. 

He didn't make it easy, though. Always wearing jeans that were clearly chosen to show off his ass. He even wore goddamn booty shorts around here once. Booty shorts. The little shit.  
I knew he did it to provoke me. We both had an understanding that we thought the other was attractive but that's as far as it went.  
Nothing more than glances and being caught staring, wearing clothes in the hopes of getting the other excited and teasing him about acting so familiar in my home. 

It was driving me insane. Not being able to touch him, to see if his skin was the same as it was when we were soldiers. To know if he was still sensitive on his thighs the way he once was...  
I was dying to know if he was eager for praise the way he used to be. I just wanted to hold him. To keep him safe and never let anything happen to him.  
I regretted ever taking him out on that mission when he died. It had torn my heart out. I had nearly gotten myself killed trying in vain to save him but I knew it was too late and, bearing a heavy heart, had to leave. From then on my vision had been cloudy. I had lost many soldiers before, friends, and even those I had considered family. But I had never lost someone I had become so emotionally invested in. I stopped functioning normally and everyone noticed it.  
Hanji and Erwin had been the only ones who knew about Eren and myself. Hanji was overjoyed I had finally found someone who could stand me and Erwin had been less than happy, but he was loyal enough to not go spreading rumours. He had once argued with me, saying that Eren was too young. 

"He is a child Levi! You're in your thirties and he's still in puberty!" Erwin yelled. He still hadn't gotten over what I had told him. I was livid. It was my decision.

"You trust me with the lives of the hundreds of soldiers that join our ranks and yet you don't trust me to pick my own partner?" I roared, eyes blazing.   
"You say he's a child, but he's on the same level as all of us. If he is old enough to battle beside us and be a part of my squad then he is damn well old enough to know what he wants."

"You should have waited a few more years before making any moves Levi!" Erwin sighed, face in his hands.

"A few more years? He might not be alive in a few more years! Hell, any of us might not be alive in a few more weeks!" I retaliated.   
"If he is old enough to give his life then he is old enough to give his love which he offered to me first I'll have you know." I scowled. "I request, Commander, that you keep this between us. Our being together does not change my judgements about work. We will still battle, we will still die. I will not try to keep him safe more than I would any other loyal soldier. Our relationship stays strictly behind the walls."

Erwin sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose before finally looking at me with weary eyes. He cracked a tired smile. "So you've finally found someone to have as your own then?"

I smiled partially. "I love him."  
"Levi? Are you alright?" Eren's soft voice broke through to me and I didn't realise I had zoned out, my eyes locked on him. I quickly looked away and grunted.   
"Course I'm alright." I snapped but there was no bite in my voice. "Get back to your work brat." I sighed, "I'll be back." Before Eren could ask anything else I stood and left the table, quickly heading for the stairs and dashing up them.

I hid in the bathroom attached to my bedroom and splashed my face with cold water.  
I had to stop thinking about the past. 

We were no longer soldiers. No longer under the threat of dying from the hands of titans. We didn't have to follow orders anymore. We weren't lovers anymore.  
I bit into my lip and sniffed lightly. I was not about to fucking cry because Eren didn't remember me the way I wanted him to.  
We were fine. We could try in the future  when Eren was at an age even Erwin would approve of. I laughed bitterly to myself. 

I wanted him now!  
I walked back down the stairs after giving myself a moment to calm down. Eren lifted his head from his work when I approached.   
"Feeling better Levi?" He asked, eyes shining with a worried glint. I sat back down and grunted at him.

"Never felt better brat. Now, what have you managed to do so far?" I asked, changing the subject as I reached for his work.

"I managed to finish within the time limit, but I'm not sure I did any good." He sighed, chewing on the end of his pencil.  
"I'll be the judge of that." I hummed and quickly began reading over his work.  
"Hm, not bad, brat. I can see where you feel you messed up, but it's a pretty solid piece of writing. An average mark at least." I praised. Normally I wouldn't be so openly happy about his results, but I wanted to see how he reacted to my praise.

His eyes lit up and he smiled brightly. "Really? So I've gotten better then?" He asked eagerly, leaning forward in his seat.   
I nodded and placed the page back in front of him.

"You've improved enough that I think I'll keep my word and let you upstairs." I gave him the faintest of smiles. Eren almost squealed like a teenage girl. 

"Yes! Ok, lemme see lemme see!" He jumped up and ran to the stairs, bouncing from foot to foot as he waited by the base of the stairs.  
He was eager, but not so much that he was going to go ahead without me as his tour guide. That was so cute.

I composed myself, not getting too carried away with how much I love the way he reacted to my praise, and joined him at the stairs, before leading him up them.  
"I wanna see your room!" Eren smiled, no shyness in his request.

"Why the fuck would you want to see my room except to be a creep.?" I scowled. He shook his head.  
"I'm not being creepy. Most bedrooms reflect the person that lives in them and I wanna know more about you, Levi." He said before quickly realising what he had said and looking away. "That's all..." He murmured. 

"Whatever you say, creep." I teased.   
Leading him through the middle floor, I showed him the movie room. A relatively small room, that had a low couch situated in the middle of it facing a tv screen that took up most of the adjacent wall. Lining each wall, similar to the book room I had, were shelves that had collections of movies lined up.

"I swear to god you're a millionaire." Eren had gasped, looking into just that one room alone.   
"I got a lot of inheritance money from my uncle when he died." I explained briefly, giving Eren a moment to gawk at the home theatre before moving him along. Next was the gym.

"You're not fucking serious? A gym? Jesus, how much equipment do you have up here? How did you even get it up here in the first place?" Eren snorted in disbelief.

"I don't like leaving the house if I don't need to." I shrugged. "And besides, I'm not going to  a public gym where other men and women have sweated on the equipment. That is so fucking unsanitary." I shuddered. "I'd much rather use my own equipment which I know is clean."

"Yeah, that sounds like something you would do." He teased and I glared at him.   
"Shut the fuck up brat."

I lead him past a door, which he didn't know, was my bedroom.   
"Wait, what's in here?" He asked, pausing and looking to the wooden door.

"That's my room, I'm not letting you in there since you're gonna be so fucking creepy and try to profile me." I warned, almost daring him to try and enter my room.  
Watching him, I thought for a moment that he may actually try going into my room. He appeared to contemplate it for a minute before following after me.

"What's next on the grand tour?" He chirped, smiling. I sighed in relief that he wasn't entering my save haven and lead him around the rest of the house.

Finally, on the third floor of my house, I showed him the balcony and rooftop garden.

"Your place is legit like something out of a movie. If all looks just too perfect." Eren sighed, taking a seat on one of the garden chairs that were seated up here under a cover. "You know this tour has just made me

"You know this tour has just made me want to stay here even more right?" He laughed, a playful tone in his voice.

"Well, if you're weren't a brat, maybe you could stay." I shrugged absently. If he wasn't a brat... What I meant by that was I wished he would hurry the fuck up and become an adult so that I could finally chase him properly instead of dancing around him the way I had been. 

I've been trying to get close to him without making any moves. I was already well aware of his attraction to me, that had been made clear that first I had him in my office and from the story he had written. But it was painful knowing I couldn't yet act on any desires I had for the boy.

Eren lifted his head and looked at me, a curious look in his eyes. "I get so confused with you sometimes." He sighed. "One day I feel like I'm getting really close to you like you're opening up to me or whatever, other days you're strictly all teacher like and then there's today. You're saying shit like that that leaves me feeling really confused." He huffed, crossing his arms accusingly at me.

"What do you mean? How am I confusing you right now?" I asked. I already understood what he meant, but I wanted to know exactly how he was feeling.

"You're acting like my teacher, sure, but you're also acting like you're trying to hint at something that I can't quite make sense of. Or maybe I'm just reading too much into it." He murmured, looking away and out to the distance.

 

"I'm sorry I'm confusing you." I apologised. "It's not my intention."  
"Then what is your intention? Why do you keep opening up to me and then pushing me back?" He frowned and looked back at me. 

"Because you're my student." I answered automatically.  
"I can't help but open up to you since you're such a nagger, always demanding answers to things." I snickered, trying to keep the conversation from getting too heavy. 

"Do you really view me as your student Levi?" He asked, continuing to head down a path I didn't want to walk down just yet. I noticed he had gotten this small look in his eyes. As if there was a specific answer he wanted me to give. I wanted to give him that answer. To say no. I didn't view him as just my student. I viewed him as so much more and wanted to freely express that emotion in ways that were inappropriate for a teacher and student to experience together.

"Of course I do brat. Now shut up and enjoy the view." I scowled, heart starting to race a little.  
Fuck. How desperately I wanted to tell him everything. To tell him that we really were once lovers and that he wasn't just having strange dreams. To tell him that I loved him; that I was falling in love with him all over again because even in this new world, he was still the same stubborn brat I once knew and had fought with all that time ago.

He sighed softly and did as he was told for once, looking around at the scenery.

I looked at his profile when he wasn't directing his gaze in my direction.

Eren... Please remember me for who I was. Remember who we were. Please... Before I break... I really don't know how much longer I can go on pretending like I don't love you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's this? I've updated a week after the last chapter? It didn't take me three months? My god! Who am I?! Haha. Thank you my lovelies for reading and sticking with me! A very big thank you for getting this story over 1000 hits! <3 MWA~ I love you all


	10. Chapter ten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Confessions, but not quite what you're hoping for just yet ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok seriously. Who am I? It's only been a day or two since I last updated and I already have a new chapter ready?! Call in a priest!
> 
> Haha, ok but seriously. reason is because I'm finally out of school and I don't have work for a while so I have all this free time and so many ideas.  
> Hope you enjoy!

Eren

  
"Eren, I'm sorry to say, but I think you're falling for our teacher." Armin sighed as he sat on my bed, text book in his lap. He didn't look at me as he spoke, but he did have a cheeky grin on his face. 

  
"Shut the fuck up Armin, I am  _not_  falling in  _love_ with the teacher." I scowled and threw my pencil at him from across the room. I was seated at my desk, my writing book opened in front of me.   
  
Armin threw the pencil back at me. "Don't you deny it." He laughed, finally looking at me. "You go to his house every weekend."

  
"To study." I cut in.

  
"You've told me several times that you've stayed there for sometimes hours past any time you've spent studying, literally just hanging out." He gave me a look that said, 'go on, explain that one'.

  
"That's... That's because he was too lazy to drive me home for a while." I countered weakly.

  
"You've claimed several times that you want to move into his house  _and_  see what his room look like. It's been four weeks since he showed you the upstairs of his house and you still haven't been allowed in his room. A normal person would say 'hey, yeah that's some's private area, none of my business' but you're just so eager to see every part of his life." Armin continued as if I hadn't spoken.

  
I hated how easily he caught onto things sometimes. I just couldn't fool him.

  
"Oh, and then there are the several instances when you've just gone on and on about how hot he is and 'oh my god Armin I want to watch him shower'." He snickered at me and I flushed. 

  
I had said that back before I had started being tutored by Levi. Back when I simply had a crush on the looks of the man.  
"That doesn't mean I'm in love with him, or falling in love with him for that matter. Am I not allowed to be friends with him?" I defended though I knew I had nothing to back myself up with. I was just trying to deny everything at this point.

  
"Yeah, sure. Just friends. If you guys are just friends then I'm a monkey's uncle." He snorted, rolling his eyes.  
"If he wasn't our teacher and, also, a friggin' dinosaur, I would totally tell you to go for him." He teased, crinkling his nose at me.

  
"He is not a dinosaur, he's only 30." I immediately jumped in to defend Levi's honour.

  
"Why do you even know that?" Armin sighed and flipped over a page in his textbook.

  
"Because he told me, duh. I also know that his parents died when he was little, he used to live in poverty until his uncle took him in and he went to university where he studied English and martial arts, took on a teaching course and became a teacher. His uncle left him a butt tonne of money when he died and so Levi built his house out where he was away from everyone and became a hermit. He's worked at three schools before he started working at ours." I happily spilt the details of the things Levi had told me and instantly regretted it.

  
Levi had taken two months to get to a point where he trusted me enough to tell those things to and I had just blurted them to Armin. Not like I thought Armin might then go and spread those details around, but I now didn't feel so special. I felt like I was the only one who was begging to get really close to Levi and I didn't want Armin knowing all those special things as well.

  
When there was silence for a minute I looked to Armin with a frown. He was staring at me with a calculating face.

  
"What? What're you staring for?" I grumbled and frowned harder.

  
"Yep. Just as I thought." He murmured. "You've got it so bad Eren." He grinned, laughing when I expelled air frustratingly.

  
"You've never been this interested in anyone, like ever Eren. You've never cared that much for the small details." He hummed. He just seemed so hellbent on proving that I liked Levi more than just a simple crush.

  
"S-so what? He knows a lot about me too now, so it's not like he's the only one who talks about their life." I snorted and tried to return to writing. Armin, however, just wouldn't quit.

  
"So, you hang out basically every weekend, you hang out like friends more than teacher and student, you know his life story basically and he knows yours I assume, you're all hung over how hot he is and you're defending him as if he's your lover. Hm. Yep, you definitely don't like him more than a teacher."

  
"Oh my god Armin what do you want me to say?" I growled lightly, he was starting to annoy me a little.

  
 "You seem to think you've got everything all figured out so why are you still going on about it?"

  
"Because I want to hear you admit it to yourself. Eren, the faster you admit it the easier it will be. I see the way you look at him in class and whenever we talk, it's nearly always about him." He shrugged. "I just want you to be honest with yourself because it'll be a lot easier after that." He smiled and went back to reading.

  
He wanted me to be honest?  
I stopped and sat quietly for a moment.

  
Ok, yes, everyone knew that when Levi first arrived, even though I thought he was an asshole, I found him really,  _really_ attractive and stared at him every chance I got. And, although I was the only one who knew this part, Levi did say that he also found me attractive...   
Had we really changed that much?

  
We've spent every Saturday with each other for the past three months now and, well... Armin was right when he said a lot of that time was now spent more hanging out with each other than actually studying. We would spend about an hour or two in the morning after he first picked me up working on my school work before he'd 'reward' me by letting me pick a movie to watch or playing a video game.

  
I smiled faintly. He'd recently really gotten into rewarding me for my work, even though he hadn't let me into his room just yet. But we'd get there.  
He had told me a lot about his past and I, in turn, told him about mine. I liked to think that I knew him pretty well.

  
I hadn't told him about the growing number of dreams I had about him that left me with wet sheets. They were always about us coming together as soldiers. Not once had they been about us as we are now. I was a little bit curious as to why that was.

  
The more I learned about him the more attractive he became and yes... I was staring at him a lot more than I used to, but so was he. I guess, if Armin was right, that would mean he must have felt something too right?

  
"What good would admitting out loud even do?" I sighed and left my book on my desk. Climbing onto the bed I laid on my bed and rested my head next to Armin's thigh. He lifted a hand and pet my forehead briefly.

"It'll take a weight off your shoulders for one. And also it will prove me right and mean Mikasa owes me ten dollars." He grinned.

  
"What? Why would she owe you money?" I frowned and tilted my head at his upside-down figure.

  
He smirked. "Because I bet her that i could get you to admit that you were falling for our teacher. She doesn't think you like him. But that's just because she doesn't like him herself and she hates the idea of you liking him."

  
I laughed. "Only you two would place bets on my love life." 

Armin shrugged. "It gets us through the day." 

  
I shook my head with a smile and sighed.  
"Well. I hate to break it to you Armin, but I'm afraid neither of you are quite right." He raised a quizzical eyebrow at me and a confused look shifted through his blue eyes.

  
"Mikasa bet that I didn't like Levi at all, you bet that I was falling for him. You're both wrong."

  
"How so?"

  
I smiled softly and my heart beat up as I murmured the words, finally admitting to it out loud; "because I've already fallen in love with him."  
  
 _Levi_  
"You have no idea how frustrating this is for me. I see him nearly every day and I can't touch him. I can't hold him or even touch him." I sighed, draping an arm over my eyes as I slouched into the cushions of Erwin's couch. Both myself and Hanji were at his place.

  
They were both- well, mainly Hanji- dying to know what progress I had made with Eren.

  
"So tell me again what exactly is wrong with him in this life?" Erwin asked calmly, taking a seat across from me and sipping from his freshly brewed coffee.

  
"He doesn't remember our old life as soldiers the way we do. We remember it the same way we remember yesterday; we woke up, ate, went down the street and blah blah. We remember battling titans and the fall of the walls, we remember fighting Annie and all that jazz.  
He remembers tiny snippets of that life, mainly stuff that happened between myself and him. He remembers battling some titans and training and that's about it. But those memories come to him in the form of dreams. He chalks up any familiar faces he sees as faces he knows from everyday life, like you two he knows from school."

  
 I sighed.

  
"He has dreams about the relationship we had but he doesn't  _remember_  that it was real. He doesn't realise that I know everything about who he was and he's pretty similar in this life too, except, of course, he's more like a normal teenager, not a soldier fighting for his life. I can't say anything because he probably won't believe me and it's easier if he just stays as he is."

  
"Well... Seems you're in a bit of a sticky situation I'd say." Erwin smiled lightly, laughing at me with his eyes. 

  
I scowled at him.  
"Shut your face. At least in the old world, I could be with him. Everyone else was too worried about titans to care about us being together. But now, I'm once again some kind of superior to him and nearly twice his age." I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose.

  
"You'd be proud of me Erwin, I haven't jumped him." I snickered. Erwin had never exactly approved my decision to be with Eren and even now he was still very cautious.

  
He rolled his eyes. "Things are much more complicated in this world, Levi. You could be thrown in prison for being with him. I'm glad you haven't made any moves on him."  
 He nodded his approval. Like I needed it.  
  
"The real question is, do you love him?" Hanji piped up, eagerly leaning forward from her perch on the seat next to me.

  
I looked at her and wanted to scoff like I normally would, but I paused and bit my lip, looking to the ground.  
I never wanted to openly admit it.

  
She gasped and gripped her teacup in both hands. "You do!"

  
"Idiot, I never said I did."

  
"No, but just then you didn't say you didn't either. You do! You so do! You love him Levi, don't deny it!" She squealed and bounced excitedly, almost spilling her tea.  
I tried calming her down but she was too excited.

  
My heart thumped in my chest.  
"Well, Levi? Do you love the boy?" Erwin asked, voice stern.

  
I looked at him and met his challenging stare. He wanted me to say no. It'd be easier that way. If I ignored my feelings and didn't address them, I would never have to acknowledge their existence.  
But I couldn't. I just couldn't. I had been dying trying to find him. It killed me knowing he didn't remember me the way I wanted him to, but we could still make it work regardless.

  
I sighed and looked away.  
"I do love him. Even if he is just a brat still."

  
Hanji nearly fell from her chair with delight. She had always been a huge supporter of our relationship in our previous life and no doubt she would do everything in her power in this life to help us get through this mess. 

  
She set her tea down on the coffee table before wrapping her arms around me and holding me close.  
"I'm so, so happy for you!" She declared happily. "I totally support you and Eren and I hope you have an amazing life together."

  
I snorted. "If we ever even get together."

  
"Of course you will! You guys are like soul mates!" She laughed. "You can't stay away from each other. The only question left now, is who will break first? You, or him?" She grinned. "Who wants to place bets? I bet Eren!" She looked to Erwin.

  
I doubted he would play along with her game since he was so disapproving of the situation.

  
"I bet Levi." He smirked and I scowled angrily at both of them.

  
"I'm never telling you anything about my love life ever again." I promised and crossed my arms, sinking further into the couch.


	11. Chapter eleven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren is invited around to Levi's house for fire and chill.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You will either love me or hate me for this chapter.  
> Probably both.  
> <3

Eren  
  
After admitting my feelings for Levi to Armin, I found myself thinking about the teacher more. Well, more than I already did, and I realised that he seemed to occupy nearly all of my thoughts.  
I also found that it was now a little harder for me to look him in the eyes again.

  
I used to avoid his gaze because I was embarrassed about the stuff I dreamed about, but I quickly got over that.  
But now I was getting shy all over again. I was sure he had noticed. I would catch him watching me curiously, frowning a little, as if he was confused as to why I wasn't looking at him. 

  
Lately I've noticed my heart fluttering a little more when he comes near me. That has grown frustrating. It's like I'm some little girl with her crush.  
Although... I guess I wasn't far off.

  
I had every reason to be acting weird if I thought about it.

  
Armin was right when he said I've never really cared for the small details about people before, but with Levi, I find myself wanting to know everything about him. I'm drawn to him in a way I can't explain.  
I want to be the one who knows him best and who he trusts the most. I want to be close to him and be the only one he thinks of everyday.

  
Physically i've been more eager for his touch than ever. Sometimes I'll purposefully make us brush hands or bump into each other literally any chance i got to do so.  
I wanted him to hold me, to kiss me and touch me. But I knew he couldn't.

  
He was my teacher after all, and I was his students. That kinda relationship between us would be illegal.  
That and he is a lot older than me... But I'm seventeen, I can make my own decisions. 

x 

  
Friday rolled around again and I was very nervous about encountering Levi for sport. Dealing with him in English was easy enough, I didn't have to interact with him that much. But for sports... It was going to be hard to avoid him since he was not only the teacher but also my sparring partner.

  
I sighed and headed for the stadium with Armin when the lunch bell rang out, signalling the end of our freedom and the start of my next lesson of torture.  
"You're going to have such a fun time." Armin snickered. He knew exactly how I was feeling. 

  
I growled at him and hung up my bag in the change rooms. "I don't think I'm going to be able to handle this." I whined, getting changed into a short sleeved shirt and shorts.   
"I can barely look him in the eye anymore after admitting... you know... That." I sighed. 

  
"You'll be fine. Believe me when I say that this admission will do you good. Like confronting your demons." Armin smiled and gave my shoulder a small nudge.   
I hoped Armin was right. Because right now, looking at Levi was the hardest thing I could mange to do.  
  
This lesson he was showing us how to break free from a hold as if someone had grabbed us from behind. And he was using me as a test dummy. Like usual. 

  
"Alright you little shits listen up. This move is designed to free yourself from a bear hug attack." Levi announced and showed me how he wanted me to move.

  
I was taking on the role of the attacker. Taking a breath, I stepped up behind Levi and wrapped my arms around his waist from behind and clutched my hands together, holding on as tightly as I could possibly manage.  
The situation wasn't helping me to 'confront my demons'. I was pressed right against Levis back and I had my arms around him, keeping him against me. 

  
Jesus Christ we hadn't been in class for more than ten minutes and I was already threatening to get a boner.

  
That threat was subdued in a matter of seconds as I felt Levi slip his arm through min, drop down and step to the side, twisting so he was facing me from an angle. Suddenly his knee was against my abdomen and I was being flipped over and onto my back. Luckily we had mats laid out especially for this. 

  
My back hit the mat and I hasped before taking a sharp breath. When I looked up I saw Levi's upper thigh and half of his ass hovering over my face. 

  
My arm was still being held in a tight lock so the moment was slightly ruined by the jolt of pain I expereineced. I tapped Levi's thigh repeatedly, letting him know I needed him to let go.   
I wish I could have kept that view above me for much longer, but alas, everyone was watching and I didn't want them seeing me getting all flustered and hard.  
My face was red, but noone noticed anything else as I stood back up.  
  
Levi ran through the technique again, this time slower. I wrapped my arms around him again and stood close to his back, taking slow breaths to calm myself down.   
"Alright, first things first, you're going to put your hands over their's and lower yourself down, dropping your centre of gravity." Levi said, placing his hands over my closed fists. I closed my eyes and tried counting to ten.

  
"Next, you're going to go for the wrist, your own wrist. Lock your arm through their's and grab your wrist." He moved his left arm and looped it underneath my left, effectively breaking my hold as he grabbed his own wrist.

  
"Moving on; step to the side and face them only for a moment before you- and for the love of god keep a hold of their arm- bring your knee up into their chest, stomach, abs, wherever you make contact and roll yourself backwards, they'll flip over by themselves." Levi then rolled himself backwards and, like he said, I followed whether I wanted to or not.

  
I landed on ym back with a groan once more before he swiftly kept a hold of my arm and knelt on one knee over me.  
There was the delicious view once again.

  
"That all seem clear enough?"  
Oh yes, the view down here is quite clear.   
Everyone chourused a yes and Levi helped pull me to my feet.   
  
"You have a break for a second Jaeger while I help these dumbasses get this right." Levi inclined his head towards me so he could speak softly and only allow me to hear him. I smiled and nodded, walking off to grab my water bottle.  
  
I took a few minutes to recooperate and stretch out my sore back while Levi had everyone partner up and he ran through the technique again with each pair, having them alternate between who was the attacker and who was the victim.   
Once everyone was set with the task, Levi came over to see how I was doing.

  
"Are you alright?" He sat down next to me and drank from his own bottle. 

  
I kept my eyes forward, not daring to look at him. "'M good... A little sore, but i'm ok." I nodded and he smiled, very faintly.

  
"I'm glad. Hey listen... This might seem out of the blue, but I was going to light the fire tonight and I have noone to join me. Would you care to? You can bring your books with you and stay over, then we can study in the morning."   
I sat still for a moment, calculating what I had just heard.

  
Did Levi just... invite me to sleep over at his house?!

  
"Uh... Wait, what?" I finally looked at him and frowned slightly.

  
"Would you like to join me tonight and enjoy the fire? And also stay over so I don't have to pick your ass up twice." Levi laughed and raised an eybrow at me.  
I nodded before I could think it over again.

  
"Sure, I mean, yeah. Ok." I felt my heart rate quicken and was about to ask him if that would even be ok considering our teacher student relationship, but he put his bottle down with a scowl and walked off to the other students. 

  
"Oi you shit heads, that's not how I showed you. Shove over and I'll show how to do it properly."

  
I watched him walk off and my cheeks darkened. I was going to spend tonight at Levi's house.  
Holy shit.  
Holy fucking Jesus shit.

  
Mama would never let me. No way would she let me. she allowed me to go to his house for study but to sleep over? I was totally up for it, but I didn't know how she would react.  
  
x

  
"Sure, I mean he isn't a pedophile and you're a grown boy now Eren, just this once, I'll let you go."

  
I stared at my mother. I asked her as soon as I got home since Levi wanted to pick me up relatively soon after school.

  
"Wait... You're serious? You're going to let me stay at his house?" I was shocked, but also relieved.

  
"I am, but don't think I'm not being cautious. One wrong move from him and you tell me immeditely. If he so much as touches my baby I'll put his head on backwards." She threatened though her eyes were still warm. 

  
I nodded and hugged her happily. "Thank you mama!" Kissing her cheek one last time, I dashed upstairs to grab a bag and pack some pyjamas in it and my work books before texting Levi.  
'Mama said yes, when will you be around?'

  
The response was almost immediate, as if he'd been waiting with his phone in his hand.

  
'I'm only around the corner I'll be in the front of your house in a moment,'

  
I stared at my phone and was about to send a text questioning why he was already so close when I heard the car horn, signalling his arrival.  
I grabbed my bag and went back downstairs. 

  
"I'm off then Mama!"   
  
"Already? Alright, have fun, don't get into too much trouble." She smiled and waved me off.

  
  
"What's with the creeping aroun near my house?" I laughed as I slid into the now familiar car and buckled myself in. 

  
"I figured it'd be a yes and deicded to wait for you." Levi shrugged and pulled away from the house.

  
My heart had started racing as we pulled away from m,y home but I scowled inwardly. I couldn't act any different to how I had been. 

  
"I thought being creepy was supposed to be my job." I snorted at Levi before grabbing my phone and the aux cord, plugging it in and playing my music.  
Yeah. I was that familiar with the car.

  
He shrugged again. "Thought I might try it out for once." He snickered back at me and I smiled.  
Even though I kept having mini heart attacks whenver he looked at me, at least nothing outwardly had really changed.   
  
We soon arrived at his house and I went ahead of him. Because of the isolated area, he rarely kept the house locked, so I made my way in and waited. I straightened my shoes by the door, a habit he had gotten me into and I just couldn't shake it. I even did it at home.

  
"Third door on the right upstairs is the spare room if you want to put your bag away." Levi hummed as he entered behind me, closing the door and hanging up his jacket and stepping out of his shoes, putting them next to mine.  
I nodded and made my way up the stairs. 

  
I paused briefly outside the door which I knew lead to his room and my fingers itched to open it and peek inside. I refrained from doing so and moved on.

  
After my bag was (neatly) put on the bed, I walked to the window and spotted Levi out in the backyard. This window had the best view. It overlooked the better half of the yard and you could see out into the open area beyond Levi's property. I wished I could have this view as my own. I sighed and headed downstairs to join Levi.

  
I chuckled when I saw a glass of orange juice already waiting for me on the bench.  
"You know me too well." I grinned and held up the glass, stepping out onto the bricked porch. 

  
"Considering it's the only thing you drink when you're here," Levi snorted, "yeah, like it's  hard to know what you'd want to drink." He was arranging small twigs and little white blocks, firelighters, in the fire pit.  
I jumped onto a cushion and snuggled down into it.

   
It was a beautiful night for a fire, the sun still had about an hour of light left before I knew the stars would come out and dance across the sky. There was barely even a flutter of a breeze, which made lighting the fire easy and it wasn't too warm or too cold.  
"If I was old enough, I'd totally put vodka in this OJ." I hummed, drinking slowly as my eyes wandered to Levi's figure. 

  
He had gotten the flames going, the flames in the fire pit not my heart, and was working on building it up. He was prodding the fire with a metal bar, trying to help it spread  and ignite further before putting thicker blocks of wood on top.   
Once it was really going, crackling and spitting small sparks into the air, he nodded in satisfaction before taking a seat just a cushion or two down from me.

  
"Vodka?" He snorted again, this time in laughter. "I hardly doubt you'd be able to hold your allcohol brat." He snickered at me, the bridge of his nose crinkling ever so slightly.   
I scowled at him and flipped him the bird.

  
"I so could be able to."

  
"Uh huh. When you're eighteen we'll test that m'kay?" He offered and I nodded with a challenging grin. 

  
"You're on." I laughed before we fell into a comfortable silence.  
  
It was weird to think that we could be like this. A small part of me kept shaking its head. We were teacher and student. I shouldn't be staying at his house... I shouldn't feel  _this_ comfortable around him.  
Yet I do, and here we are.

  
I pushed any thoughts of how wrong this was away and focused more on watching the sky.

  
"You chose a perfect night to light the fire Levi, well done." I returned the favor and praised him for once.  
He didn't seem too affected by it. 

  
"Thanks brat." He gave me the tiniest of smiles before drinking his drink.  
  
Now what? What were we supposed to do? What  _could_ we do?   
  
I didn't have to ask because after a while of quiet Levi stood and suddenly dropped back down into the seat next to me. He leaned back into the cushions and crossed one leg over the other so his ankle was positioned on his knee.  
When he noticed me giving him a slightly wary look he laughed. A short, quick 'hah' that startled me a little.

  
"What's that look for Jaeger? I'm watching the sunset, get your head out of your ass." He turned and indeed started watching the sunset. 

  
I relaxed again and looked out towards where the sun was begiggning to dip behind the horizen. In it's wake it left streaks of pink and orange across the clouds, making them light up and shine.  
"Its so pretty... Do you get a view like this everynight?" I breathed, entranced by the golden tones the sky was taking on.

  
"If I care to look out the window, yeah." Levi murmured.

  
"I'd love to have a view like this everynight." I sighed, almost pouting when the sun finally disappeared totally and a dark sky blanketed over us.

  
Leaning back I looked up at the sstars. I felt so small under so much open sky. The only other light sources came from the crackling fire and the few lights that were still on inside his house.  
When I sat upright again, I tought for a moment that maybe Levi was sitting closer yet again. I shook of that thought. Of course he wasn't...

  
But he was watching me with an interested expression.

  
I shifted in my seat and felt my cheeks heat up under his stare.

  
"T-take a picture... It'll last longer." I scowled at him and looked away.  
I could still feel his eyes on me.

  
"What the hell do you want?" I snapped, lightheartedly of course, I wasn't really that angry at him. 

  
"Well... I want a lot of things Eren. But unfortunately the one thing I want the most happens to be underage and a student. And sldo seemingly oblivious to the fact that I want to kiss him,." He said softly, almot absently as if he were talking to no one, and busied himself by taking a sip of his drink andn looking back to the fire.

  
I whipped my head around to look at him in shock. There was no way he wasn't talking about me. I knew it had to be me. That was the second time he'd blatantly said something about wanting a stundent. It could onl be me.  
I swallowed thickly. My heart had begun racing and my palms started sweating.

  
Taking a moment to calm myself down, I looked down at my glass, now empty of OJ, it cooled my hands and gave em some comfort.

  
"A-and what if that person wanted to kiss you too?" I asked, barely able to keep my voice steady.   
When I got no reply I hesitantly looked back up at Levi and found him already watching me.

  
He seemed tense and his face looked like he was fighting back something.  
But his eyes. Oh fuck his eyes. There was a carnal desire that even my inexperienced self could see.

  
I felt a heat build up and suddenly I wanted to lean forward and kiss him; to climb into his lap and hol him.  _Make_  him pay attention to me.   
I bit into my lip. I couldn't take my eyes off of his. 

  
Everything around me seemed to stop. I couldn't hear the pop of the fire anymore, just the deafening beat of my heart.   
I noticed, slowly, that Levi was beginning to lean forward.

  
My breath caught in my throat.  
Was he really going to kiss me? 

  
Oh my god. It was going to happen.

  
A million things raced through my mind.

  
What if my breath smelled bad? When did I last brush my teeth? What should I do? It sseemed simple anough but I had no expeirence. What if he didn't like it? What if it happened and everything just fucked up?

  
When his face was inches from mine, I took a quick breath and closed my eyes, unable to continue watching.  
I titled my head upwards, a slight offering, and waited for that fateful moment when our lips would connect.

  
But they never did. I waited and waited. But nothing happened. 

  
I cracked open one eye and saw Levi, still poised just in front of me. But he had stopped moving.

  
"Levi?" I asked, voice barely audible.

  
I seemed to snap him out of something before his eyes seemed to come back to life and he reached his hand forward.  
He grabbed my glass and stood up.

  
"I'll get us some refills." He announced, not looking at me as he left to go inside.

  
I watched him go and, once he was inside the house, let out a breath i didn't realise I'd been holding.

  
Jesus fuck. Save me.


	12. Chapter twelve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren confronts Levi about his feelings but it doesn't quite go as Eren wants it to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for taking a while to update!   
> And sorry again if this chapter is shorter and not as good as my others. I need a bit of a filler chapter that also allowed me to slip in some drama.  
> I promise the upcoming chapter is going to be very worth it <3 I hope you'll wait for me.

Eren  
The rest of the night consisted of mainly silence. It wasn't uncomfortable as such, but there was this tense feeling between us and for a while I couldn't bring myself to look at Levi: I was too embarrassed.    
  
After a while we managed to talk again, mostly about school. That was an easy subject. We laughed and when the fire was starting to go out, somewhere towards midnight, we decided to call it a night.  
We parted ways in the hall with quiet 'goodnights' and I quickly hid underneath my blanket.  
The room smelled clean, but homey, not like a hospital would smell. I smiled softly. 

  
Everything about the room just screamed Levi.  
The walls were bare except for one small painting of a forest that was hanging on the wall at the foot of the bed. There were two bedside tables on either side of the double bed, a lamp stationed on each one, and a dresser on the far side of the room.   
Simple. Clean and straight forward.  
Yep.  
Just like my Levi.  
  
  
Falling asleep was easy. I was tired and a little bit emotionally drained, but waking up was torture.  
Levi knocked on the door and called for me to 'get my lazy ass out of bed'. Checking the time I groaned loudly upon reading six fifty-five am.  
Who. The fuck. Gets up. That damn early. On a fucking Saturday?  
Of course Levi would be that kind of person. 

  
"Five more minutes..." I whimpered and pulled the blanket over my head.   
I heard the door open and I tried curling into a ball, but the blanket was suddenly pulled from my body and the fresh morning air hit me.  
"Fuck! Levi!" I yelped and tried to grab the blanket back but he threw it to the floor and eyed me with a raised eyebrow. 

  
If I wasn't so tired, I would have thought that he was checking me out. I was only in my pyjama bottoms after all.  
"Interesting attire, Jaeger." He snorted, giving me a smug look as his eyes danced downwards.   
I flushed and realized I was sporting my typical morning wood. I shifted my legs and pressed my thighs close together. 

  
"Fuck off. Please can I sleep a little longer?" I whined.  
"Why? You're already up." He smirked and waltzed from the room.  
"Asshole!" I yelled after him and quickly got dressed.

  
At least it was only a hard on he had seen and not the results of a wet dream. I would have died if he'd seen that. And he would have murdured me if i'd gotten his sheets dirty.  
"Strip the bed and bring the sheets downstairs would you?" Levi's voice called up to me as I finished pulling on a shirt and jeans.  
"Yes sir!" I called back sarcastically but he didn't respond.

  
Once I deemed myself to be in a more presentable state, I stripped the bed and bundled the fabric up in my arms before bringing it downstairs.  
"Your laundry sir." I hummed and ignored his scowl as he took it from me and went off to what I presumed was the laundry room.   
I sighed as I poured myself a glass of juice and downed it in only a few gulps.

  
"Now, can I ask why the hell you've gotten me up so early?" I sighed, rubbing the remains of sleep from my eyes.   
Levi returned a moment later and set the kettle to boil.  
"Because no one is going to be lazy in my house? Because I can? And also because you snore, I didn't want that as my morning radio." Levi snickered at me and I flipped him off before going to wash the cup I had used, dry it and put it away  
Mama would be so thankful for Levi having whipped that habit into me.  
  
As I closed the cupboard door, I paused and chewed my lip. There was something on my mind that had been bugging me for a while and I just had to get it off my chest.  
"Hey Levi, can I ask you about something?" I kept my body turned away from him, fearing that I would sieze up and not ask him if I looked his way.  
"Technically you just did." He snorted and I sighed.

  
"I'm being serious here, asshole." I whined and slowly closed my hand into a fist. "I want you to answer me truthfully... Please?"  
Levi sighed behind me. "Alright, what's your question? If it's anything to do with my room I'm not answering it." He added quickly with a huff.  
"It's not... It's more about... us." I murmured and risked glancing back at him. He kept a neautral expression, but raised one eyebrow slightly.  
"Oh? What about 'us'? I didn't even realise there was an 'us'." He commented blankly.

  
That stung.  
More than I wanted it to.  
More than it should have.  
I frowned.

  
"Are you serious?" I scoffed. "You've made several comments on how you find me attractive, you want to kiss me and I feel the exact same way. Don't you dare say that there is no 'us', even if it's not official." I grumbled and he crossed his arms.

  
"Usually, when people refer to it as 'us', it's because they're talking bout a couple. Last I checked Jaeger, we aren't a couple." He shrugged.

  
"That's not how you feel though is it? I know you like me Levi, don't even try telling me that you dont. I know it. Just as you know that I'm attracted to you. Fuck, you were going to  _kiss_ me last night; and I was ready for it! But you stopped. Why? Why after all this teasing and chasing and dancing around, why did you stop?" I asked, almost begged.   
I was sick of not knowing whether Levi really felt something as I hoped, or if he was just messing with me.

  
"I stopped, because you are my student Eren, it would be highly innapropriate of both of us if we had let that kiss happen." He said sternly.

  
"Oh fuck off. So, so the kiss would be inappropriate in this student-teacher relationship, and yet coming to your house every weekend, sleeping over and even just casually hanging out isn't? I'm sorry Levi but that is the most bullshit excuse I've ever heard." I snapped at Levi who just looked at me without any reaction.   
It was silent for a few minutes which only made my anger flare up. 

  
"Well? Just tell it to me straight. Do you fucking like me or not?" I snapped again, my irritation clearly ebbing from me. "I'm sick of not knowing, because there have been so many times where I've been so sure that you want me... and then there's times like right now, where I suddenly think that you don't even care for me at all. So which is it?"

  
Levi tapped a finger against his bicep slowly, watching me quietly before he pushed off the counted and started to step away from me. "You need a lift home right?"I just stared after him as he grabbed his keys and headed for the front door.

  
"W-wha-... Wait, hold on just a goddamn minute Levi! Answer my damn question." I growled, walking after him. "I don't even have my bag, hold your horses."  
He stopped just in the hall near the stairs  and kept his back to me. 

  
"Please just answer my question... Is it that hard to answer?" I asked quietly, not daring to step any closer to him.  
  
He was quiet for a long moment and just as I was about to snap again, I heard him talking quietly.  
"Some things cannot be openly addressed Eren. If they were then we would have to acknowledge the situation and change it. I... I would like things to stay pretty much as they are right now."  
His words were slow and calculated.  
  
I stared at the back of his neck and swallowed slowly. I wasn't quite sure what to make of his... confession?  
But, by default, my emotions jumped straight to annoyed. He was still dodging my question.  
  
"I'll go get my stuff." I huffed and trudged up the stairs. I figured we were going to miss our study session for today. I don't think I'd be able to concentrate on it right now anyway.  
  
When I came back down, Levi had only moved closer to the door, waiting for me.  
His expression was blank, like it normally was at school, and his eyes were cold.  
  
Oh fuck.  
I think I messed up by pushing so hard for an answer he couldn't give.  
I know a teacher student relationship is highly inappropriate and unprofessional... But if we had feelings for each other we should at least make that fact known between us.  
Well... It was obvious how I felt, I'd already said that I liked him. But he didn't know I was in love with him at least.  
But I was still confused about his feelings; especially since he was always so guarded.  
  
"Ready to go?" He aske quickly, harshly.  
I bit my lip and nodded.  
  
Soon we were in the car and he was tearing down the road that lead into town.  
  


"Levi... I'm sorry... I didn't mean to push you. I-I understand what you were saying,

he glanced at me sideways, "about us being in a teacher student relationship." He looked back to the road and grunted.  
  
"It's fine brat. You're young and driven by hormones, that's all." He said, quick and sharp. He was teacher Levi once more, not the friend I thought I had made over these past couple of months.  
  
I wanted to argue with him, that I wasn't just some pubescent boy who couldn't control his urges.  
Well... Not entirely.  
  
He dropped me home with a brief goodbye and then sped off again.  
I stared after the car and sighed heavily. It felt like I was watching him leave me personally.  
  
Since no one else was up yet, I took claim of the shower and tried to clear my mind under the heavy stream of water droplets, but Levi was the only thing that seemed to be occupyng my brain.  
  
What was it about him that even made me want to be close to him?  
He was short and grumpy, a total hardass when it comes to being clean, he's strict and looks like he's perpetually ready to murder someone.  
  
But he was also kind enough to tutor me in his own time, he was more relaxed around me and his eyes were warm. He had sharp features and beautiful skin, he was in perfect physical shape and he had a good sense of humor.  
  
Sighing for the upteenth time that morning, I closed my eyes and tilted my head back, letting the water splash over my face.  
  
Arrgh. This was so frustrating.  
On one hand, I wanted to totally agree with Levi. It would be hard to be in a relatipnship with my teacher, and if we did openly confess to one another it would be even more difficult to keep our emotions hidden and make it seem like we didn't care for each other while at school.  
  
But on the other hand, and one of the reasons I was so angry about it all, was the fact that Levi wouldnt just admit to me that he did in fact like me. I mean, just because he says that he does doesn't mean we have to go have a relationship with one another.  
I was so sure that Levi liked me, but I still doubted it sometimes, and what happened this morning only made my doubt grow even more.  
  
As if being a teenager wasn't a confusing enough time as is. Now I had to go throw a relatipnship into the mix. And a forbidden one at that.  
Why couldn't I have just fallen for someone normal? Another student?  
 Hell, falling in love with Armin would have been easier to deal with than this.  
  
But still... Here I was; barely out of high school and head over heels for my teacher.  
Go figure.


	13. Chapter thirteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren's Mama sheds some motherly light on the situation at hand and Eren releases his pent up anger on Jean; however he's interrupted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE CHAPTER YOU HAVE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR

Eren

  
The rest of that Saturday I spent out in the shed, violently punching and kicking the old punching bag that hung from the ceiling. It had been hanging there for years and I used to use it back when I did self defence, but it hadn't been touched in forever until recently when I started using it as practise once more.  
Or to vent my frustrations like I was doing now.

  
I had worked up a heavy sweat and was panting, my anger still bubbling inside me. Mama always encouraged me to never hold my feelings in. If they needed to be released then I should do so.

  
Especially my anger. I was quick to work up so it was better for me to release my agitation before I took it out on another person.  
I hadn't realised it was dinner time until Mama knocked on the door of the shed quietly. She stuck her head in and offered a small smile.

  
"Darling? Foods ready if you'd like to come join us?" She told me and I nodded, at least acknowledging her. If anything I wouldn't ignore her completely.

  
"Can you tell me whats wrong honey? You've been out here all day and you're exhausted; why don't you give it a bit of a rest for now, hm? Come tell Mama what's wrong." She stepped into the shed and shut the door behind her, creating a secretive feel to the cold shed.

  
I looked at her briefly and sighed. Reaching out I stilled the swinging punching bag and moved away to take a heavy seat on another piece of gym equipment that was also unused.

  
Mama took a seat beside me and placed and gentle hand on my knee, urging me to spill the beans of my frustrations to her.  
If there was anyone in the world who would listen to my worries without casting any judgement on the situation and offering a heartfelt opinion it would me my Mama. Armin was a great friend to vent to, but he just didn't have the wisdom I needed in this situation, despite his brains.

  
I took a deep breath and sighed, allowing myself to calm down just a little bit before speaking. Mama would be no use to me if she couldn't understand what I was saying.  
"How... How do you get someone you know likes you to admit it?" I asked softly, eyes focusing on the ground between my knees.

  
"Oh honey... It's that teacher isn't it?" There was no hint of worry or disgust in her voice and I appreciated that.  
There was no point in me even trying to hide that it was Levi I was talking about. Mama was smart and quick to pick up on things like this. Besides, it would be easier if I was just honest.

  
"Yes... It's him." I sighed and leaned forward to rest my forearms on my thighs. "I-I think I've fallen in love with him Mama..." I murmured. I didn't quite admit that I already knew I was head over heels for him, but Mama got the picture.

  
"And I just  _know_ that he feels something for me too. Something more than just simple favouritism, but he won't admit it to me. I confronted him about it this morning and he totally brushed me off and avoided the whole topic. That's why I was home so early.  
He told me that if he admitted to anything then he would have to address the situation and he would rather things stay as they are. What does that even mean?" I huffed, hanging my head.

  
Mama was quiet for a moment, calculating her response in her mead before she spoke softly.  
"Darling... I think you need to see it from his perspective. He's your teacher. As much as you may love him and he may love you in return, unfortunately, it's illegal for you two to be together in this day and age. I think he's trying to protect you both. Think about it.

  
I believe what he means by addressing the situation if having both of you confessing your love for one another openly. If you both did that then you would no longer be able to stay as you have been; blissfully ignorant of any repercussions that may occur. The way you are now, still just a student and teacher, makes things easy. If someone ever said anything you can claim that you're not infatuated with each other, which is true. However if you two admit your feelings then it will become even harder to keep things as they are because you now both know that you want to be with each other and one of you might slip.   
If that happens and again if someone intervenes, then you can no longer deny your feelings or your relationship which will put both of you, especially Mr. Ackerman, in a lot of trouble."

  
Mama's voice was gentle as she clarified what she believed Levi had meant. It made sense.

  
"If he says he wants things to remain as they are then he wants to keep on being able to invite you to his house and being near you without any legal obligations coming between that. As I said, if you two were together then there would no longer be anything innocent about being you two near each other. Do you understand what I'm trying to say here honey?" She moved her hand to my back and massaged it back and forth slowly.

  
I nodded and sighed again.   
"What about when I turn eighteen? It won't matter so much then right? I'll be an adult and can do whatever I'd like, be with whoever I want." I asked, hopeful. That would mean I'd just have to put up with this situation for only another year.

  
"Oh honey, no, it's not quite that simple. Even when you turn eighteen you'll still be his student and no matter what age that is frowned upon." She said, bursting my little bubble without meaning to. 

  
"Oh..." My shoulders slumped a little and I closed my eyes. Why did this have to be so hard?  
"I don't want to stop what we have right now... I feel as if I've become closer to him than anyone else... It's as if somethings pulling me towards him whether I want it to or not." I laughed bitterly. "Sounds like something from a romance movie."

  
"There's nothing wrong with that Eren. I don't know if you remember but when you were little you said something similar about Mikasa and Armin; you claimed that it was like you had been friends for a whole other lifetime before this one." She smiled. "Maybe you all had a past life together and have found each other once more." She chuckled and smiled warmly at me.

  
I laughed. "As if." Although I didn't exactly think that that wasn't a possibility. I admit, I have had moments where I've felt like I've known Mikasa and Armin for so much longer than what we had in this lifetime. Even a couple of other students I had this sense of familiarity with them even though I didn't associate with them much further outside of school.  
Hell, even Hanji and Erwin had a certain presence to them that made me feel as if I'd felt it before. But it was probably just because I saw so many of these people within my dreams and that's what made it feel like we'd been together in another lifetime. Technically that life where I'm a soldier  _is_ another life, just one inside of my head and on the pages of my books.  
  
"What do you think I should Mama? I can't help these feelings I have and I don't know if I'm strong enough to keep them at bay for very long." I whimpered softly. 

  
"It's alright Darling, just remember what I always say; if it's meant to be it will be. Nothing happens-" "-For no reason." I finished for her and she smiled with a nod.   
"Exactly. I'm sure it will all work out for you, just give it all time." She reassured and that did make me feel just a little bit better.

  
She was right. If it was going to happen then it would happen, I just had to be patient.  
  
  
Despite Mama's reassuring talk on Saturday, when Monday rolled around and I saw Levi leaving his car as i entered the school ground I scowled.  
Meant to be or not, I still didn't enjoy having my feelings ignored by the man I loved. If he didn't admit his feelings to me soon I was going to explode.  
Huffing, I pulled my bag up higher onto my shoulders and trudged to my locker. If Levi saw me he made no attempts to reach out to me. Even though it shouldn't have, that pissed me off. 

  
Shoving my bag into my locker I grabbed the books I needed for my first class and headed for it, passing by Jean along the way.  
"Hey there Jaeger, heard yous tayed over at Ackerman's house the other day." He sneered at me. "What's that all about? You guys aren't in some illegal relationship are you?"

  
I closed my eyes and frowned. I was in no mood to be putting up with shit from him today.

   
"Don't you have a class to get to?" I snapped, although my bite wasn't as strong as it usually was.

  
"Is that really all you've got to come up with?" He laughed and followed after me. "So you didn't deny it huh? Well, I hope you're being safe Jaeger. Who knows? Ackerman could be some kind of weirdo who preys on unsuspecting boys like yourself. Maybe one day you'll find you won't be able to come home from his place because he's locked you in his basement." He snickered, but his smug expression didn't last very long because I turned around and punched him square in the nose.

  
He staggered backwards and caught the wall, regaining his balance. A hand held his nose and he glared at me, fire in his eyes.

  
"What happened to not hitting me because I'm dating your sister?" He coughed, his nose starting to bleed a little.

  
"To hell with your relationship status." I growled. I would deal with my sister later. "At least I have some decency to stay out of your relationships. Huh, I guess my sister isn't enough for you then. Considering you have to keep prying into my love life in order to get your kicks." I huffed and stormed off as a teacher stated approaching us.

  
I was not going to be fucked with today. Not by Jean and certainly not by Levi.

  
  
As I suspected, Jean had ratted me out to my sister and I knew I was in for shit as I saw her approaching me with a scowl on her face later in the day.  
"I keep telling you guys to play nice! Eren! Why does my boyfriend have a bruised nose?" She demanded and I sighed. I had just returned to my locker in order to grab my lunch. I just wanted to be left alone for Christ's sake.

  
"Hey, I do play nice! He's the one who's always coming to me and trying to get me all riled up. He was fucking asking for that punch and I do not regret it one bit. I'm sorry Mikasa, I know he's your boyfriend but he's a fucking dick to me."

  
"What the hell did he do that made you punch him?" She sighed, crossing her arms and giving me a stern look.  
"He insulted Levi and started spewing nonsense about him." I said defensively, daring her to keep questioning my actions.

  
She didn't. Her expression almost soften a little bit and she let her arms drop.  
"Oh..."

  
"Yeah 'oh'. He needs to back off Mikasa or I swear to God he won't be getting off with just a bruised nose next time. I'm not in the fucking mood to be dealing with anyone right now." I huffed and turned to leave without another word.

  
Mikasa just stared after me, unsure of how to approach the subject of Levi and me.  
  
  
And as if my day couldn't get any worse, Jean decided to approach me just as I'd finished my lunch.  
I groaned and stood up. "Fuck  _off_ Horseface." I growled.

  
"No fucking way Jaeger. I owe you for the fucked up nose job you gave me." He grunted, just as angry as I was. 

  
"Hah! If anything you should be thanking me. I think I improved your face." I laughed, no longer caring about what Mikasa might do or if a teacher came along. I would going to fucking whoop the horse's ass.

  
We both started stepping towards each other, hands raised into a fighting stance. I was going to use all the extra tutoring Levi had given me to make sure Jean learned his fucking lesson this time.

  
Before I even got a chance to step up to the plate and throw a punch, someone grabbed the back of my shirt and pulled be backwards. I let out a choked gasp and stumbled backwards. 

  
Jean stared after me as I was dragged away. Twisting around I saw a patch of black hair and I sighed. 

  
"Mikasa... Look-" I began, noticing that I was being taken into the stadium. Before I could finish my sentence, I was turned around and shoved to the floor.  
Angrily, I look up and saw that it was Levi, not Mikasa, who had dragged me away from the fight.

  
"Levi..."  
"What did I fucking say Brat?" He snapped, eyes blazing. 

  
I opened my mouth with quickly closed it. Tilting my head I blinked at him in confusing. "Huh?"

  
He sighed and rolled his eyes. "I told all of you little shits that if I ever caught you about to use what I'd taught you in the yard I would personally kick your asses." He reminded me and I lowered my gaze.  
"I would have expected you to be one of the few students eager to follows my orders and obey me." He muttered as I stood and fixed my shirt. 

  
"Well so-ree. Jean had it fucking coming-"

  
"That's no fucking excuse you idiot." Levi scowled, his expression reading total disappointment. I hated that expression; especially because I knew it was aimed at me.  
Even though I didn't like seeing Levi make that expression, I was still angry.

  
"Just get out of my way. I promise I won't hurt him too much-" I started walking around Levi but he simply stepp in from of me, blocking my exit.

  
"No. Whatever you were wanting to do to him, do it do me instead. Come on, fight me instead." Levi offered, remaining in place.

  
I stared at him. No way. I wasn't going to fight him.   
I shook my head in both disbelief and in rejection.   
"I'm not fighting you Levi." I said, lowering my voice a little. He raised an eyebrow.

  
"What? Don't think you're good enough to take me on? Come on Brat, fight me. Whatever you were going to do to Jean, throw it at me." He lifted his hands in a gentle 'come at me' motion and I closed my eyes.

  
He was taunting me and I knew it. I knew I shouldn't let him get me riled up but my problem was that my fist always managed to work faster than my brain.  
He goated me on once and that was it. If he wanted to fight then who was I to deny him?

  
Opening my eyes I locked them on his steely gaze and stepped up to throw a punch.  
I should have walked away. There was never going to be a chance for me to beat him. As soon as I moved he managed to block my attack and in a few moments I was on my back and being pinned to the ground. Nothing I ever did against this man worked.

  
I growled up at him and tried wriggling my wrists free from his grip.   
"Get off me asshole!" I frowned up at him. He didn't move. He simply stayed above me, pinning my wrists down beside my head and balancing himself on a knee that was once again too close to the apex of my thighs for comfort. 

  
"Not until you cool off." He said calmly and kept me down despite my struggles. I glared at him but let myself close my eyes and take a deep breath.   
Even if I was still angry I had to at least look calm in order to get him off of me.

  
"Alright... Alright, I'm calm." I muttered, taking slow breaths. Although that wasn't exactly helping me considering all I was managing to breath in was the scent of Levi. His cologne, the subtle hint of sweat and his natural smell all mixing together to create an alluring combination that I was finding irresistible.

"Are you right there Brat? Sniffed me enough yet?" Levi's voice was quiet and there was a tone of almost amusement to it.

  
I opened my eyes and saw him smirking down at me. I hadn't realised I'd made my breathing so obvious.

  
"S-shut up, I wasn't sniffing you." I huffed and looked away, hoping the break in eye contact would stop my cheeks from getting any darker.   
"Sure you weren't." Levi murmured and I felt him lean in even closer to me. I closed my eyes and gasped a little as he ran the tip of his nose along my neck, breathing in ever so slightly. I swore I heard him groan lightly.

  
"Eren..." His voice was low and it carried a certain note that made me turn my head back to look up at him. I could feel my heart racing as I looked up at him.

  
"S-sir?" I questioned, my voice barely even a whisper. Without any warning Levi lowered his face to mine and pressed our lips together. 

  
My breath caught against his lips and I stared at his closed eyes for a moment, my brain struggling to comprehend what was happening. I squirmed a little bit, unsure of how to react at first, but when Levi's parted his lips slightly against mine and I felt his warm breath mingling with mine I gave up all hope of trying to wrap my head around the situation.

  
Instead I let myself melt into the kiss a little, moving my lips with Levi's, slowly, hesitant.

  
Then, just as suddenly as he'd kissed me, Levi pulled back, drawing and anguished moan from my lips.  
He had a panicked expression in his eyes as he stared down at me in shock.

  
"Fuck." He blurted and I could see a wave of regret washing over him.   
"I'm sorry." He pulled away from me and went to stand up.

  
"L-levi.. Wait.." I mumbled and crawled up after him. He was making haste towards to doors, almost running to get out of the stadium. 

  
I was  _not_ going to let an opportunity like this just run out of the door. Coming up behind him I grabbed Levi's shoulder and steered him to the wall, pushing his back against it. Before he could complain I simply leaned in and pushed our lips together.

  
I could feel him struggling, although I knew if he really wanted me off I would have been on the floor already. HE pressed his hands to my chest in a feeble attempt to get me off but I simply grabbed one hand and intertwined our fingers, pinning the limb to the wall behind him. My free hand cupped his cheek and angled his face up to mine.

  
He groaned, frustrated and tried wriggling slightly but eventually gave up. I had to thank the heavens for this blessing when I felt him relax into my advances.

  
I made sure to savour as much of this moment as I could before I pulled back, panting slightly. I looked down at him and he stared back up at me, his lips slightly swollen and both of us sporting tents at the front of our pants.

  
"Fuck..." He uttered again although this time he didn't look regretful.

  
"Yeah..." I agreed, still catching my breath and my brains.

  
Yep. We were now both fucked.


	14. Chapter fourteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After their encounter in the gym things become a little awkward for the boys, until both of them finally snap.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You already know what I'm gonna say, but I'll say it anyway. I am so sorry for the length of time it took me to update this TT^TT I never intend on leaving it for so long, but then it just happens and I hate myself for leaving you guys without anything.   
> That said I hope you guys enjoy this chapter, which I'm sure you will, and I'll try not to leave it so long between updates next time.

Levi

"You'd better run off to class now Brat..." I murmured, still staring up at Eren, lips parted slightly as I tried to recapture the breath that was seemingly evading me. 

His captivating eyes never left mine. He didn't even move when I told him to; little shit.

"Oi, Eren. Earth to Eren." I waved a hand in front of his eyes. He reached up and grabbed my wrist gently, bringing my hand to his lips so he could kiss my knuckles. I scowled softly when the action made my heart flip.

"Class has started now Brat, people will be coming in here soon so you'd better get off me." I pushed. We could not be caught like this by anyone. It would ruin my career and the rest of Eren's life. 

He held my gaze for a few seconds and I tried my best to appear angry, however, I knew my cheeks were red. 

"I really don't want to leave you right now..." He mumbled and I huffed air, rolling my eyes. 

"Well, you're going to have to. I have a class starting and so do you, now beat it Brat." I snapped and pulled my hand back. Maybe if I appeared angry over what had happened, he would leave easier. 

He somehow got the message and stepped away, allowing me to breathe and think more clearly. "Good, now skedaddle before we get caught." He nodded and I watched his figure retreating through the doors, his eyes watching me over his shoulder. 

Once I was out of his sight I sighed heavily and pinched the bridge of my nose.

Fuck.

Fucking fuck shit.

I had seriously messed up. I hadn't meant to kiss Eren, but his scent and the way he looked pinned underneath me made me lose my concentration and I had forgotten momentarily that things now weren't like they used to be. But then he had started kissing me back and I was lucky to have been able to pull back when I did.

Of course, he had to also chase after me and pin me to the wall... Little shit. 

I know of course that I could have flipped him to the floor before he could get his hands on me if I really wanted to. I knew I was the one to blame for this, but pointing the finger at someone else was always easier. Still... I know I was in the wrong here.

What was I going to do now?

I can't just say, well yep we kissed so now we're in a relationship. Things weren't that simple. We were still student and teacher and if this progressed to more than what had just happened and someone found out about it, we'd both be in a lot of shit.

Hell, even the simple things we've done up until now haven't exactly been professional. 

Growling quietly to myself I waited for another minute before starting to head out just as some students started filing in through the doors. I was confident I had waited long enough for Eren to get ahead of me so I wouldn't run into him. 

I needed to seriously reevaluate this whole situation before approaching Eren again. 

X

Almost a week had gone and I had managed to never be alone with Eren at any point. I avoided him in the empty halls and he was always one of the first people out of the class.  

Despite how turned on we had both been during that kiss, and I will admit that I had used it as fuel on the fire for other things and I'm sure Eren did too, things now felt a little awkward between me and the brat. He didn't hold my gaze like he used to and he was very quick to answer any questions I threw his way, not wanting any more attention on him than was necessary. 

It actually began to irritate me. A lot. 

I finally decided I had had enough. That little shit made my resolve start to crack and I'll be damned if I didn't try and get just a little something more from him. 

After class on Friday, I made sure Eren would be the last one left. 

I closed the door after everyone else had left and walked briskly into the back room which stored all the sports equipment, and to where I had sent Eren on a fake job of tidying up some of the shelves. 

I was surprised to see he had actually done a pretty decent job. 

Pausing by the door, I watched as he had his back to me and lifted up on his tiptoes to reach the top shelf. His shirt lifted and revealed a slither of skin that made me want to close the gap between us and slide my hand up under his shirt, but I refrained from doing so. 

Instea, I chuckled to myself. It was funny having to watch this giant of a boy going on his tiptoes in order to reach something. 

He heard and turned around to meet my gaze. I could feel him trying to glare at me but his eyes were too soft to really have any impact. 

"What're you staring at?" He grumbled and returned to flat feet. 

I shrugged and kept watching him for a moment. "Just you." I murmured, letting my eyes slowly crawl up and down his figure. 

I had expected to see him become at least a little aroused, which he did, I noted the front of his shorts stir slightly, but I hadn't expected the angry huff that left him. 

I looked to his face and found a frown. 

"What's with the constipated expression Brat?" I questioned, a little taken back. 

"I don't look constipated," he mumbled, letting his frown soften. 

"Then what's your problem?"

"You're my goddamn problem." He snapped, the frown reforming above his eyes. 

I blinked at him. Me?

"What did I ever do to you?" I asked softly. I already had a feeling I knew what was coming but I wanted to hear it from him so I had a clear picture. 

He growled and waved his arms in frustration, slapping them against his thighs. 

"Exactly what you're doing now. One day I think you don't have any interest in me, and then the next you go and do something like this. Everyone's left, right? You purposefully waited until we were alone before coming to me right?" 

Smart brat. 

"You know that I'm attracted to you and don't you dare even fucking deny that you feel the same. We have a connection, Levi. I can feel it."

Oh, kid.... If only you knew how deep that connection truly ran. 

"I'm frustrated because you keep ping-ponging back and fucking forth between ignoring me or letting me in. Which do you want Levi? Just fucking answer me clearly for once."

He had taken a few steps towards me and I now had to look up at him. Chewing my lip for a moment I reached out to slowly find a grip on the front of his shirt and pull him closer. 

He kept a straight face for all of about five seconds before his cool demeanor fell and he started looking shocked. 

I didn't utter a word, I simply paused for a moment when our lips were barely touching and held his gaze. He hadn't pulled back so I took that as a green light and closed the gap. 

When our mouths connected I felt a fire ignite low in my abdomen. Fuck, even just a simple kiss with this damned brat was enough to send my heart racing. 

Eren didn't even wait a moment, as soon as the kiss began he wrapped his arms around my body and pulled me flush against him. 

I moaned softly, without even meaning to and leaned into him. Snaking an arm around his shoulders, I slipped a hand into his hair and tugged. It was soft and messy and just how I remembered it from the old days. 

Feeling bold, Eren took a step forward and forced me to step back until I was pinned between his body and the wall. 

Just like last week, I felt him worm a thigh between my legs and press against my crotch. 

I didn't even realize I was beginning to rut against it until a whimper broke free and I had to break the kiss for a moment to gasp for air. 

Eren didn't stop, however. He continued to work his thigh against my straining cock and his mouth kissed down my neck and latched onto the muscle where the shoulder and neck meet. I felt his teeth and tongue grazing the skin, determined to leave a mark and I let him.

I used to scold him for marking me where it could be visible, but this time I was in no mood to say no to his current advances. 

"Ahh, fuck..." I breathed, grinding down hard against his thigh. 

Eren nuzzled against my neck, kissing it gently once he felt he'd left a decent enough hickey. 

"Levi.. Levi," he groaned over and over. 

I could feel his hardened cock through his shorts, pressing into my hip and for a moment I had half a mind to slip my hand under the fabric, but I held back.

"E-easy Eren..." I closed my eyes and tugged on his hair to get his attention. "You'll bust a nut if you keep going." 

He slowed down and stopped moving his thigh but didn't pull back. 

"Are you sure it's me who'll bust?" He teased and pressed his thigh hard against me. I hissed and dropped a hand to try and push his thigh away but I was too sensitive and horny to really try that hard. 

"S-stop it," I whimpered, tilting my head back with an airy moan. 

I could hear the smirk in his voice when he kissed the shell of my ear and whispered, "do you really want me to?" 

I had to bite down into my lip to refrain from blurring out a needy 'yes'. 

"D-don't get so cocky brat." I huffed and proceeded to move my hand from his thigh and grip the front of his shorts. 

That made him stop, in a sputtering and gasping manner. 

"Shit, Levi wai-" I gave him a light squeeze and he shuddered, rolling his hips forward into my touch. 

"We can't do this here got it?" Eren nodded quickly, obediently lowering his thigh. 

"Was my answer clear enough?" I whispered and he met my eyes, nodding slowly. 

"Yes, yes." He breathed and I nodded briefly. 

"Ok good." Separating ourselves, I made sure to tidy myself up and look somewhat presentable. 

"Now scamper along brat. I'll pick you up tomorrow for study." He smiled brightly and hurried out of the stadium, not before giving me one quick kiss on the lips which made me flush. 

I waited until he was gone before letting out a huge sigh and leaning back against the wall. 

A part of me knew this was going to be a bad idea, but I no longer cared. I needed Eren, regardless of whether he remembered me or not and judging by the responses I was able to get out of him I was sure that he at least wanted me too.

This decision was probably going to bite me in the ass. Oh well.

 

x

 

When I pulled up outside his house the next morning, he was standing at the bottom of his driveway, eagerly waiting for me. I had barely even stopped the car before he was jumping inside.

"Jesus Brat, calm dow-" I didn't get the rest of my words out because when I turned my head to look at him I suddenly felt a pair of lips pressing onto mine.

I had not been expecting him to be this confident after only just one day, but I wasn't exactly complaining. I gripped the steering wheel and fought the urge to lean across further and pull a bigger reaction out of him. 

I eased back first, reminding myself that we were still parked outside his house and my windows weren't tinted that darkly. 

"Good morning to you too." I breathed softly, giving him a half smile. "Tell me, have you been waiting for a chance to do that this whole time?" I asked, pulling away from his house and beginning to drive home. 

"Maybe. You never made it easy being around you, you know. Until now I've been getting a little bit of whiplash trying to figure out whether you liked me or not, and then if I thought you liked me I had to restrain myself from doing anything. But... Then you kissed me and yesterday happened so I'm milking as much of this as I can while I've got the chance."

He grinned widely at me and I rolled my eyes. 

"Yeah well... I guess now you've got a proper answer. When we get to my place we're going to have to discuss a few rules though if we're going to make this work." I sighed and Eren whined.

"Oi don't give me that, we can't just jump into a relationship like this without any thought. This is illegal and we shouldn't even be talking about it... But..." I wanted to say something like 'I've spent too many years without you to care anymore' but I refrained from doing so, that would only make Eren ask questions that I wasn't sure he was ready to hear the answer to just yet.

"But oh well." He finished for me and I snorted.

"Yeah oh well... But we still need some rules got it?" He nodded and hummed quietly.

"I'm just glad this is happening at all, so I can learn to deal with a few rules." He turned to watch the streets disappearing as we left the main roads and I allowed myself to smile a little.

At least with in this case, he was ready to follow some rules. Ah, just like my old Eren.


	15. Chapter fifteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wow I actually have a new chapter within a week. Praise the Gods.   
> This chapter doesn't really propel the plot that much but it's still a nice addition to show more of their relationship.   
> And besides you guys deserve to get a little kissy kissy from our ereri boys since you're always so patient with me.

Levi

If I was honest, I was actually a little bit prepared to have Eren jump me as soon as we stepped into my house, but he didn't. He simply aligned his shoes neatly next to mine and went to grab himself a glass of orange juice like he always did. 

I had gotten into the habit of making sure that, if nothing else, orange juice was always on my shopping list. 

As I joined Eren in the kitchen I noticed he had already started boiling the kettle to make a tea for me. I smiled softly at the kind thought. 

"You really do act as if this is your own home." I chuckled and leaned against the fridge, arms crossed loosely in front of my chest. Eren smiled bashfully and shrugged.

"Hard not to when I love it so much and I've been here more than enough times. How long has it been now? Just over three months or so?" He smiled and hummed softly to himself as his made my tea just the way he knew I liked it. 

"Here you go." He grinned brightly and slid the cup across the counter towards me. 

I thanked him and we both sat down at the dining room table.

"Before you pull out your work I think we need to go over the rules," I said softly, making Eren stop reaching for his books. 

"Ok..." He murmured. A flash of nerves washed over his face. "Rule number one?" 

"Rule number one is obvious I guess. Absolutely no public displays of affection of any kind at school... Or literally anywhere else asides from here ok? If we're here then I suppose it's ok. But nowhere else, got it?" Eren nodded understandingly, but there was still a note of sadness in his shoulders.

"What's wrong brat?"

He sighed and shrugged. "I'm finally with you, at least, I kind of am and yet I can't show off that you're mine. I dunno, it just annoys me a little. I'll deal with it though so don't worry, I won't break the rule." He added quickly when I raised a brow.

"Good boy. Ok, rule number two. Similar to the first rule; no one can know about this ok?" His shoulders stiffened a little and he quickly glanced to the side before looking back at me and trying to act as if he hadn't reacted.

"You shitty brat. You've already told someone haven't you?" I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose.

"Only Armin! He already knew I have a thing for you anyway so I figured telling him that there was a little development wouldn't hurt... He won't tell anyone I promise!" Eren was quick to try and stop me from getting upset about someone already knowing about our situation.

"Well... I guess if he's the only one who knows that's alright. I mean, Erwin and Hanji know that I have feelings for you as well and I can already feel that they're getting ready to tear me apart and see if anything has happened." 

It was so casual to me that Erwin and Hanji knew because of course, they were both close to me from the previous world and had also been that way in this one. But to Eren, they were just other teachers that had made a few appearances in his dreams. So it was no surprise that he was staring at me with shock.

"Why do they know?" He squeaked, obviously a little horrified that other teachers knew about our situation.

"They're both very close friends of mine. Well, they probably call themselves my friends. I think of them more as determined pains in my ass." I chuckled, keeping the conversation light.

Eren chewed his lip but slowly nodded. "Alright... I guess if you trust them enough to tell them something like this then it must be ok. You are picky about who you have close to you after all so... I trust them as well." He nodded with finality.

I smiled softly and nodded.

"They can be trusted Eren. If you ever need anything you can go to them, and not just because they're teachers. Both of them have big hearts and they're the only two people I know in this world that I trust with my life. Well, there are another couple of people I would trust but I haven't met them yet."

Eren tilted his head at me and I realized I'd driven myself into a ditch. 

"What do you mean? How can you know you would trust someone if you haven't even met them?" He asked. I glanced away and bit my lip briefly. 

"Uh, they're family. I've known about them as I grew up but they don't live in this country so I haven't had a chance to actually meet them yet." Eren eyed me for a moment before nodding, accepting my bullshit story. I didn't yet want to talk about a certain redhead and blond.

"Fair enough. Ok, rule number three?" 

I sighed, relieved that I had dodged a bullet. "Don't let this relationship get in the way of your grades. If I see them start slipping there'll be repercussions." I pointed a finger at him.

"We'll still have study sessions on weekends but no funny business while I'm tutoring you got it?" He nodded before smiling cheekily.

"So that means when times up there can be a little bit of funny business?" He giggled and bit the bottom of his lip. I noticed his hand gripping at his thigh under the table and his eyes had a playful glint to them.

I groaned and lowered my head. 

"Perhaps. But only if you're good and not being a little shit like you are now." I said firmly, willing the gutter thoughts away from my mind.

"Yes, sir." He teased and I glared at him halfheartedly. 

"That's it for now. I'll let you know if I think of more. Alright, let's on with your work then shall we?" I sat up a little straighter and nodded at his books.

He nodded as well and leaned forward to grab his books. He paused however and went to lean forward as well to see what was wrong he suddenly lifted his head and quickly kissed me before continuing to reach for his books and then setting them on the table.

I was momentarily stunned, left staring at the floor and a soft buzzing in my lips. 

"You alright there Levi?" He snickered and I quickly shook my head before scowling lightly. 

"Cheeky little shit, I said no mischief while studying remember? That wasn't even two minutes ago. Jeez, it doesn't take long before your brains in the gutter does it?" I scoffed.

He just shrugged and gave me a smug look before beginning to sort through his notes and pick out a task that he needed to work on. 

 

x

 

Just under two hours later and we were finished with his school work. And within two minutes of moving to the couch in the lounge room to idly watch some tv, he had moved over so our shoulders were touching and his hand was on the side of my thigh. 

I kept my eyes trained on the tv and refused to let the small circles he was tracing over my jeans get to me. 

"You're certainly sure of yourself aren't you brat?" I murmured when I felt his hand slip to the inside of my thigh. 

"I'd like to think I am yes. I know I won't get punched in the face now... Well actually I still might but I know now that at least that I'm allowed to do this." I could hear the soft smirk in his voice.

He wasn't quite the innocent brat from the old days, but I still knew he was totally inexperienced in this life. 

I raised an eyebrow and finally looked at him. I noted a gentle blush to his tanned cheeks, but his eyes held a look that wasn't exactly innocent. 

I was well aware of how close his fingers kept shifting towards my crotch and I let him have a moment of dominance before I wrapped a hand around his wrist and held it put merely centimeters from its target. 

The pout I received from stopping him was priceless. 

"Leviii, why?" He whined and wriggled his wrist. "I want to feel you." He huffed and I groaned inwardly at the boy's direct words. 

"Because there's no way in hell I'm letting someone younger than me make the first move." I murmured and leaned in closer to him to brush our lips together gently. 

I heard him take a breath before closing the tiny distance between us and pressing his mouth onto mine. I let out a soft airy moan through my nose and tightened my grip on his wrist when I felt his hand try to move again. 

I had said I was stopping him because I didn't want him making the first move, but it was more that I didn't want him making any moves that were too serious for only having just decided that we were going to be in a relationship. 

That and I didn't know if I would be able to control myself if things went too far. I had a hard enough time as it was restraining myself from acting too familiar with Eren. If we took things too far, I knew I wouldn't stop myself. 

And one last excuse was that I did still have some responsibility as a teacher and adult to set small boundaries. 

I hated everything that was keeping me from claiming Eren. Our positions in life, our age and the fact he didn't remember our past. I suppose the last one wouldn't really stop our relationship. But it would be nicer if Eren did remember rather than just basing it all on his dreams. 

Realizing we both wanted more from the kiss, Eren climbed onto my lap and asserted himself there with a satisfied hum. 

"You do know we don't have to rush and do everything there is to do in one day right?" I chuckled softly as I let Eren kiss and suck gently on my neck. 

"I know, but I've been wanting you for so damn fucking long now that I really want to do as much as I can in case you change your mind and back out." He splayed his hands out over my chest and slowly moved them down. "Like I said: I'm milking this while I can." 

I snorted and thought for a moment before turning my head towards him. Realizing I was cutting him off from my neck he leaned back a little to look at me. 

"Levi?" He questioned quietly, sounding unsure for the first time that day. 

I held his gaze for a moment and then sighed briefly. 

"This is probably highly inappropriate if me to say and definitely illegal, but I've wanted you for a long ass time as well brat, don't forget. I ain't changing my mind anytime soon and I sure as hell ain't letting you go that easily. You're stuck with me now so you're gonna have to deal with it." He was buzzing as I spoke and I could tell by his grin that what I was saying was what he wanted to hear. 

"I'm not going anywhere so you don't have to rush everything all at once, kay?" I rested my hands lightly on the base of his spine and absently traced gentle circles against his sacrum. 

"Ok I got it, I'll slow down... We can continue kissing though right?" He giggled and I rolled my eyes. 

"Duh." I huffed and smiled briefly before our lips met once more. 

 

X

 

"Soo, what's the 'emergency meeting'?" Hanji asked, swinging her legs back and forth as she sat on the corner of my desk. 

Erwin was poised in the seat across from my desk and sat in my desk chair, looking towards the ground and fiddling with my fingers. 

"Uh... Well. You remember that stupid fucking bet you guys made about myself and Eren?" I asked cautiously although I could tell they both knew exactly where I was headed with that line. 

"Of course we do! So which one of us won? The green eyed puppy broke first, didn't he? Oh please tell me I won!" Hanji squealed with delight and nearly bounced off my desk. 

I snorted and rested an elbow on the arm rest and then my chin in my hand. "Actually... Erwin won. I made the first move." They both gaped at me. 

Despite betting on me, Erwin had figured I would have a stronger resolve than what I apparently did have. 

"So, have you made a relationship out of it then? Or was it just one slip up?" Erwin asked steadily and I met his eyes. 

I didn't care if he didn't approve in this life either. He wasn't my damn father, or Eren's. 

"Yes. We made it 'official', if you will, two days ago on Saturday, although it was actually a week ago when I slipped up." I admitted, realizing I hadn't told either of them about the initial incident that caused this emotional landslide. 

Hanji squeaked and crawled over my desk, ignoring the papers and stationary I had which all fell to the floor, landing heavily in my lap to give me a tight hug. 

"Oh Levi I'm so happy you have him again! Your little Titan baby is all yours once more!" I could handle a sudden hug but as soon as she started crying and snotting everywhere I shoved her from my lap. 

"Disgusting." I scolded before sighing and looking at Erwin who had a rather concentrate face. 

"You alright there, eyebrows?" I raised a brow of him and he purses his lips softly.

"While on one hand I'm happy you were able to find him again and that it's worked out that you both have feelings for each other, my views on the subject of not only your professional relationship but also the age gap still remain the same in this life." He said evenly and Hanji jumped up from her spot on the floor to huff at Erwin before I had a chance to.

"Oh come _on_ , Steve Rogers! Just ignore those little details and let Levi be happy!" 

I nodded. "Your view stays the same and so does my response to them." I hummed and flipped him the bird. 

He just rolled his eyes and smiled, shaking his head. 

"I expected no different."

"Good! Now Levi, tell me, when do you plan on really making things final with Eren?" Hanji asked excitedly and began staring at me like I was an experiment. 

I frowned at her. "What do you mean? We already have made things final?" 

She grinned even wider.

"Oho, so you've already popped the boy's sweet cherry have you?" She waggled her eyebrows and I finally realized what she meant. 

Making a disgusted noise at the fact that she would even ask I proceeded to kick her shins. 

"The information regarding Eren's 'sweet cherry' will remain classified and will never be revealed no matter when it may happen." I scowled and Hanji simply pouted. 

Again Erwin had that contemplative look on his face but I ignored him and paid my attention to Hanji who was whining like a goddamn dog. 


	16. Chapter sixteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren questions why Levi is so resistant to them taking anything further.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Damn I have been on a fucking roll with these updates this week, I hope I can keep it up! Enjoy!

Eren

_"Captain... Ahh, please." I begged, breathing in short pants._

_"Sh Eren... You don't want anyone to catch us do you?" Levi purred in my ear. We were currently hidden within one of the supply closets near the dining hall. My back was pressed against his chest, my hands on the wall in front of me to help myself remain upright while his hands worked._

_As soon as we had entered the closet Levi had wriggled my pants down to my thighs and quickly went about stroking my leaking length._

_I shuddered, pressing back against Levi and grinding my exposed ass against his front. He moaned breathily and jerked his hips forward to help himself get some friction._

_"L-let them hear... I just want you inside me, Captain." I begged softly. "Please." I quickly added, trying to appeal to him._

_He simply hummed and brought a hand up to my lips, tapping them with a finger. I knew this signal and eagerly sucked on two of his fingers, lapping at them and coating them with saliva._

_All the while he kept working his wrist in slow, purposeful movements and I made sure to keep my ass pressed right against him, reminding him how eager I was._

_I hummed (more like I moaned) around his fingers and pulled off them with a pop. "It's enough. Now please just fuck me already." I begged in a hushed voice._

_Levi groaned and kissed the nape of my neck. "You needy fucking brat." He whispered before wasting no time at all in slipping two fingers inside me._

_I hissed briefly at the sudden intrusion and stretch, but the Captain made sure to immediately find and begin massaging into my prostate so I quickly forgot about any initial pain._

_"Don't forget to keep your voice down." He mumbled, kissing and panting near my ear._

_The closet we were in was just around the corner from the dining hall where everyone was currently enjoying their meals. It was noisy enough for me to beg and whine and moan, but if Levi really got going, I was positive everyone would be able to hear me scream._

_After tending to my preparation, I heard the soft noise of Levi's zipper dropping and moaned delightfully when I felt his hot tip pressing against my hole._

_"Ready brat?" He purred and I pushed back against him._

_"Always ready for you Captain." I purred back at him and with the aid of his hands on my hips, started sinking back onto him._

 

X

I woke with a start and quickly sat upright. I was panting and could feel a sheen of sweat on my skin. Plus something else. I didn't even have to lift the blankets to know that I'd had another wet dream. 

Damn. I'd been doing so well too. The dreams of Levi hadn't stopped, but some other dreams came back as well, the old ones I used to get where I fought monsters in a squad and lived in barracks. 

But the recent development in my romantic life meant my brain had decided that my nights would be filled with nothing _but_  Levi and myself touching and fucking, making out in places we shouldn't have. (One of my dreams included us making out and jerking each other off on Erwin's desk. I dreamed of him as some kind of Commander for some reason and so doing something so naughty in our leader's office was just so scandalous.)

Groaning to myself I pulled back the sheets and went about putting the linen in the wash and then starting up a steaming shower.

I took some time to think about the dreams I kept having. There was something that felt so oddly familiar about them, but I figured it was because I'd been dreaming about these things for several years now. 

The only complaint I had about the dreams involving Levi, and no it wasn't the fact that I kept dirtying my sheets, was the fact that in my dreams we were extremely close and intimate. Hell, we were having sex in a cleaning cupboard in my latest dream. We were familiar with each other and knew the other's likes and dislikes as if they were our own.

But in reality, even though Levi and I had been together for nearly a month now, we were nowhere near being that intimate. We made out whenever we had the chance, especially on weekends when I was at his place, and once or twice I had cheekily dropped my hand between us to cop a feel, which he reacted to beautifully, but quickly pulled my hand away. Another time I had tried pulling my shirt off and he put a stop to that as well.

It was frustrating. I was sure now that he liked me and I didn't have that constant internal argument going on in my head. You know the one where you're picking the petals off a flower and you alternate between 'he loves me, he loves me not, he loves me' and so on and so forth. Now that I knew he liked me but was seemingly very withdrawn about being intimate, the questions had changed to 'he wants me, he wants me not'.

I understand we were a new couple and there were still boundaries that we needed to discover about each other, but how the hell were we supposed to find out what we liked if we never tried anything? It's like when your mother cooks you something new and it smells and looks disgusting, but she always says 'taste it before you judge it' or 'you'll never know if you don't try it'. 

Which is why I was now more determined to see if I could make Levi crack. I wanted his hands on me dammit. 

 

x

 

When lunch finally rolled around, I excused myself from spending it with Mikasa and Armin and hurriedly ran off to Levi's office. 

Knocking on his door quietly, I waited a few moments before hearing him grant me entry. I tried not to rush my entrance, but I had a feeling he knew I had something on my mind from the way he was watching me from the other side of his desk.

"Eren." He nodded and I noticed the subtlest of lip bites. I put on my best innocent smile and tried not to run to his desk. Instead, I hummed quietly and walked around until we were on the same side and casually leaned back against his desk. 

"Is everything alright?" He asked, looking up at me with a curious expression. 

I shrugged softly. "Sure. Hey, we're alone in here right? And no one can see us?" I questioned and he nodded slowly. I could tell he already knew why I was asking before I even moved forward and plopped myself down into his lap.

"What're you up to brat?" He murmured quietly but didn't make any moves to get me off his lap.

"Nothing in particular. I was just thinking today about how much I'd really like to have your hands underneath my clothes." I breathed quietly, slowly circling my hips over his lap. I heard him take a short breath and his hands found my hips, gripping them tightly. 

"Oh? Is that what you've been thinking about all day, perverted little brat." He smirked softly.

"I can't help it, I'm a horny adolescent and you're my hot as fuck boyfriend. The fact we can't touch each other at school, except for now of course, only makes me want you even more. So sue me." I chuckled, leaning in to kiss his lips slowly. 

He responded with a gentle smile, but even after several minutes of our kisses becoming very heated and me letting out little moans and groans, his hands still never left my hips. I frowned slightly and huffed, drawing back.

"Whyyy?" I whined and Levi tilted his head, giving me a concerned look. 

"What's wrong? Are you alright?" 

"No. I mean, yes. Kind of?" I sighed and rested back on his knees. "Why won't you touch me more, or even at all?" 

He was quiet as he stared up at me before sighing. "Can't you just enjoy the simple things we do now?" He asked with a low voice. He didn't sound annoyed, not with me at least, but I could feel that this was something he didn't particularly want to talk about. 

"I do... But I just..."

"I've told you before that we don't have to rush everything remember? It's only been a month okay, so just calm down." He said sternly but still lifted a hand to run his fingers through my hair. 

I knew I was being irrational and I knew I should have just accepted what he was telling me, but for some reason, I couldn't fight the annoyed sigh that left me or stop my eyes from rolling.

"Do you think I'm not ready or something? Or do you not want to do those things?" I snapped, my anger starting to come forth.

"Woah, Eren, calm down." Levi blinked up at me, surprised by my angry tone. "Easy there tiger, there's no need to get angry." He tried calming me down but my brain had decided to go off on a tangent and there was no stopping me now.

"No! I'm sick of this. No matter what I do nothing ever makes you want to touch me. Do I have to stand in front of you without any clothes on and bend over your desk? Fuck Levi what will it take for you to do something?" I slid off from his lap and stood with a huff.  

"Eren please, hold on a second, we need to talk about this." Levi stood up after me as I started walking back around his desk and heading towards the door. 

"Don't bother Levi, I'm not in the mood for talking right now," I grunted and ignored his calls after me. I hated turning my back on him but I couldn't help frustration. 

Why wouldn't he touch me?

 

x

 

Levi

After Eren left my office with a slam of the door, which I didn't think was entirely intentional, I sighed heavily and sat back down in my chair. 

Pinching the bridge of my nose I growled at myself. I knew it wasn't Eren's fault that he was wanting more. That's how teenagers were. Hell, it wasn't even just the fact that he was a teenager seeings as I was just as needy, I just didn't make it as known as he did. 

He wasn't making it easy for me to keep some control over my wants and urges. 

Growling to myself, I stood up and went in search of Erwin. Finding him in his office, I didn't bother knocking or asking before I stomped in and shoved the door shut. 

Flopping down into a chair opposite his, I groaned heavily. 

"I'm going to assume this has something to do with Eren?" His voice was steady and he didn't bother lifting his head. 

I laughed bitterly. "Of course it is. Do you know how hard this brat is making this whole ordeal? I'm trying to keep things as light as they can be in this relationship because we need some boundaries. But  _Eren_ , fuck, I don't think he even realizes how difficult this all is for me."

"Of course he doesn't realize. Levi, just think for a moment. You two have been dancing around each other for months and now you're together, you were the first one to cave out of the both of you and you're allowing a relationship, with rules yes I know. Eren is a young boy who wants nothing more than to be with you and to do things with you. Young people in relationships are always eager to do stuff. You should know that from our past life." Erwin finally decided to grace me with his gaze and I snorted.

He was talking about the old Eren, the young boy who made the first move on me and the young boy who was so very eager to please me by doing anything I asked.

"Huh. Some things never change do they?" I murmured and slouched in the chair. 

"Exactly. Now in your past life, you graced Eren with a lot more than just a kiss. He's probably had dreams about the things you two did together; even if he doesn't realize they actually happened, he'll still have in his head what it would be like to be with you in that way. So, of course, he's going to want to do things." Erwin shrugged and I huffed. 

"I get it, I get it. He's horny and he wants more than I'm willing to give him right now." 

"Why are you so reluctant to give him what he wants?" Erwin questioned, leaning back in his chair. 

I looked at him for a few moments before sighing  

"You know what, I don't even really know. I feel like I still want to give him some space to grow since he's still so young and another part of me is trying to maintain an air of professionalism. I don't want to rush things with him..." I groaned and covered my face with my hands.

"Why is it always that green eyed brat that makes my heart and head hurt?" 

Erwin chuckled faintly.

"If he's too much to handle then why don't you just forget about a relationship with him right now?" He suggested and I lowered my hands to stare at him.

"it would make things easier on both of you." He shrugged and continued looking over his paperwork.

"No fucking way." I laughed. "I could never give Eren up." Erwin just shrugged at me again.

"Then either draw a straight line with him and be honest or just give him what he wants."

"Hah, as if either of those will be easy."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I know, here comes the angst. I'm sorry the introduction of their relationship was so short, but these things must happen!


	17. Chapter seventeen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren and Levi disagree on their relationship

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A million apologies. I am really sorry it took so long. Thank you for sticking around and waiting for me. School and life have been a bitch for a while now but hopefully I can get a good roll going and not go for so long without an update.  
> Anyways, enough apologies. Enjoy!

Eren

Over the course of some weeks I tried my best not to get angry with Levi, I really did, but it was just so difficult. It was like when people tie money to the end of string and see how long people will chase it for. I felt I was sprinting after the line of string and never getting close to catching it, like it was just some sort of game; a tease.

To make matters worse, Levi kept giving me quick, short answers whenever I tried to ask why things weren't happening. Initially I figured maybe some things were going on in his life and he just wasn't ready for it, but after months of being together it was really starting to piss me off that nothing beyond a make-out session on the couch, or back patio had occurred. 

It was driving me insane. I had this urge, this almost instinctive drive to want to be with him, but my resolve was starting to wear quite thin. The more he pushed me away the more I was sure he was starting to lose interest in me and it was tearing me apart.

 

Levi

Things were starting to become intensely difficult to handle. My attraction and want for Eren was growing stronger every day and only more so when I saw him and spent time with him. I wanted to tell him so badly that I loved him, that I knew him. I always had this burning urge to explain to him our past lives, the connection to his dreams, but I refrained from doing so by closing off and becoming distant. I had once thought that if we spent time together then I would eventually get over our past life and focus on our current one, but the closer we got the more I was reminded of how close we once were, so long ago.

Whenever he tried to push for something more physical it killed me to say no to him. I knew how badly he wanted to take things that step further, but I knew as an adult and his teacher that I couldn't. I still thought that if we did go further than we already had, it would become even harder to hide our relationship from others. What we had already was risky enough.

After discussing some things with Erwin and Hanji and getting their input on the situation: Erwin thought it was best if we kept to ourselves until Eren graduated. Hanji was keep that we adopted new names and eloped to Europe; I decided that perhaps it was best if Eren and I discontinued having private tutoring sessions at my home and did them at school instead. It wasn't what I wanted; God knows that Hanji's plan sounded bloody tempting, but I couldn't ask that of Eren. He needed his schooling. I knew I had to put that first, before either of our emotions. I was taking the advice Erwin had given me once and drawing a line in our relationship. I didn't want to devide us, but I knew that I had to make it clear to Eren that this was still a serious matter. 

X

"What? What do you mean you don't want to tutor me anymore?" Eren stared at me with such hurt and betrayal you would've thought I'd broken up with the poor boy. 

"I mean exactly as I say. I think it might be best if we take a break from being at my house and just study at school or over Skype or something." I said as gently as I could.

We were in my office during lunch and I could already feel Eren's emotions starting to rise.

"I'm not ending our relationship Eren, don't you dare think I am. I still want you but I feel that it would be in both of our best interests to not torture ourselves so much." I tried to explain quickly before Eren got too upset. 

But, just like I knew would happen, Eren's emotions got the better of him and he was starting to take the siuation way out of proportion. 

"But there's nothing wrong with me studying at your house..." He grumbled.

"Technically I guess there's nothing wrong with it," asides from it being illegal but I didn't say that, Eren had heard me saying it about our relationship enough times already, "but it's getting harder for us to keep our hands to ourselves and if we keep putting pressure on ourselves one day we're gonna bust. I'm sorry I'm doing this but it's for the best, especially with your end of year exams coming up soon, you need to to focus. I don't want to be a distraction to you." 

"I think that's total bullshit." Eren huffed, frowning at me with fire in his eyes. "You haven't fucking touched me once in all these months. You felt me up that one time when we first started out but there's been nothing since. I have let on that I am more than ready to do things with you and every time you shut me down. Don't you dare say you're having a hard time keeping your hands to yourself."

He shifted his weight to his opposite leg and huffed.

"Levi, I have been doing so well in school since I've been studying with you, why, now of all times, would you want to break that?" 

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I wasn't going to let myself be dragged into Eren's emotions when he was like this. 

"Did it not occur to you that I don't touch you because I'm holding myself back? Eren, I am just as ready to close that final gap between us but I am trying to maintain some level of professionalism between us. You already know that what we are is illegal-"

"Yeah, only cos you remind me of it every chance you get. Levi, I fucking get it ok? I know that what we are is illegal. I've been good. I haven't done anything to give that away while we've been at school or anywhere else. Mikasa and Armin are still the only ones who know. I save all my urges until we're either in your office or at your place. I'm being obedient. I'm following our rules and yet I get nothing in return? It's just unfair."

I frowned and stood up. "Eren stop it. You're being childish. There are boundaries we have to respect. I have respect that you're still growing, maturing and you're still in school; that should be your first priority. You have to respect that I don't want to do anything until you're out of school." I was starting to get tired of the same old complaint Eren kept making. Initially it was cute, almost endearing that he wanted me so badly. It made me remember how desperate the old Eren used to be. 

But now it was just getting annoying. No matter how many times I said 'no' Eren still wanted to challenge and push; to see if he could I to break.

In a past lifetime I would have snapped in a moment. But I just  _couldn't_ in this life. I couldn't.

However the more I kept repeating that saying the more it began to feel like I was just trying to convince himself of that fact rather than repeating something that I actually believed in.

"This discussion is over Eren. Until your final exams are over we are no longer studying at my house. If you need help then we will study in the hall like everyone else, understand? I'm drawing the line here just for a couple of months. It's really not that long of a time." I kept my voice stern even despite not wanting to. I wanted to drag Eren to my place, more like our place at this point, and hold him close; never let him go.

It was wishful thinking on my part to think that Eren would take that comment very well. His eyes burned with fresh anger and he huffed at me.

"You know what? Fuck you." He snapped and turned on his heels to storm out of the room, slamming the door behind him in the process which made a few picture frames on the same wall shake slightly.

I refused to let myself run after him so instead I headed to Erwin's office to tell him what had happened.

 

x

"So does that mean you two have broken it off then?" Erwin asked after I had finished explaining what had happened to him.

"No. At least, I don't think so." I mumbled, mildly unsure. I was pretty sure Eren was just having one of his usual hotheaded tantrums. He surely hadn't been serious with his response and there was no way that he would quit out of the relationship so quickly.

"You don't seem so sure of yourself there Levi." He raised an eyebrow at me and took a sip of his coffee. 

I sighed and buried my face in my hands. "I know Eren can be hotheaded and say shit he doesn't mean. He's just hurt right now. But I also know that the brat won't give up our relationship so easily. He'll be ok once he cools off a little." I said firmly, sighing after. 

"Such a troublesome brat." I chuckled halfheartedly, trying to not let my emotions get too out of control.

"Maybe he really did mean that 'fuck you'. You've been denying him what he wants for months now Levi and now you're seemingly pushing him even further away. I think he'll need a bit longer than just a day or two to cool off from this Levi." Erwin warned, setting his cup down onto a coaster.

I glanced up at him and slumped back into my seat. I wanted to scoff, to shrug off his comment, but I knew he was right. Asshole. Why'd he always have to be so calm and levelheaded about these things? Probably to keep me from doing something stupid in circumstances like this.

"Yeah... You're probably right... I'll give him a week to calm down then I'll try talking to him again." I nodded. 

 

x

 

A week apparently wasn't enough time. Eren was pissed off at me for two weeks. He wouldn't answer texts or calls, he wasn't responsive in class and would just leave if I confronted him about it. He avoided being alone with me like his life depended on it. It reminded me of the start of our relationship when things were still new and awkward. But this was worse because it made me start doubting our relationship. Did he still want it? He sure wasn't acting like it. 

I struggled to keep my distance, to give him the space that he needed. 

After a long day of dealing with Eren avoiding me and ignoring my texts, I decided to go to Erwin for some of that wisdom he seemed to pluck out of his ass every time I had a problem I couldn't see an answer to.

Like usual, I didn't bother knocking on the door as I entered his office. 

"Oi Erwin, you got a minute-" I stopped dead in my tracks as my eyes took in the site before me. Seated on teh couch that was on the side of Erwin's office was himself and Eren.

Except they weren't just sitting having a friendly chat. Erwin was leaning over Eren, took fucking close for my liking. Eren had been looking up at him, a hand on his chest before he turned to look at me with sudden horror on his face. It was like he'd been caught out.

"What the  _fuck_ is this?" I nearly shouted, but somehow managed to keep my voice to an enraged growl.

"You grew tired of waiting for me so you've gone and found another teacher to fuck you huh?" I snapped, pure anger spilling into my words. Before either of them could say anything I held up and hand and closed my eyes for a moment.

"I'm fucking done with this shit. I'm fucking over it." I said finally before turning on my heels and pulling the door shut behind me, hard. It wasn't quite a slam, but it was hard enough to get my point across; I was fucking pissed and there was no calming me down now.

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes I know, I know, drama and shit. The plot ball has finally started and rolling and it's all downhill from here. :) Hope you enjoyed this chapter. I'm sorry it's probably shitty but this was what my mind decided to produce. I hope you liked it nonetheless.


	18. Chapter eighteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Flashback to Eren's POV and his reaction to Levi walking in and misunderstanding.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You all know what I'm about to say.  
> I'm sorry.  
> And I know that that simpy isn't enough to make up for the time wasted in between these chapters. But! After having thought out the next few chapters, I've come to realise that this plot might actually only fan out over a couple more chapters before it's finished so hooray for near completion!

Eren

_Flash back_

 

"You know what? Fuck you." I snapped at Levi then turned and left the room, anger following me as I slammed the door shut in one final huff of aggression. 

He had been the best thing to happen to me this whole year and while I had been struggling to keep myself sane with the whirlwind of emotions that came with being by his side. I was hurt that he thought distance would be the better solution. 

My exams were coming up, like he said and I had been doing so much better in class since he had started tutoring me. In fact, my grades were up for every class I had, all of my teachers were surprised. Except for Erwin and Hanji of course. They were more impressed that our time together was actually paying off. 

At least they _had_ been paying off. 

After Levi had his talk with me my mind derailed, I tried convincing myself that it wasn't over, Levi wasn’t the type of person to leave things unclear. If he wanted out then he would say so. 

And yet my brain did an excellent job at trying to convince me otherwise. It kept echoing ridiculous things like ‘he’s trying to push you away and distance himself so it’ll be easier to let go completely.’ 

I knew that was bullshit but the dark clouds consumed my mind and it made me doubt everything. It made me distracted.

It threw me off so much that a week later, when we had a test with Erwin, one that I should have been confident in because I had actually been studying hard for it, I completely flunked it because my mind was all over the place. 

I was ashamed to hand it in and I was sure Erwin would be surprised too because he had commented before that my results were looking better than ever.

I had my answer the following week when he organised for a quick meeting in his office.

x

"So Eren, you know what I’m going to ask; what happened on your test? I was feeling confident in you; you’ve been doing really well these last couple of months, I must say I had high expectations. I’m almost disappointed.” Erwin reclined back into the couch he had positioned against the wall. 

He liked talking here instead of over a desk, it made the interaction seem more personal rather than something like an interrogation.

”Yeah, yeah I know, I was confident too, and I’m also disappointed.” I sighed.

”Can you tell me what’s happened to make you slip up so badly?”

I bit my lip briefly. I mean, Erwin knew about Levi and myself. Levi had probably told him a lot of things without me knowing. Had he told him about our argument?

”Well... I guess it’s just frustration.”

”Frustration? With what?” Erwin pressed, crossing one knee over the other and resting his arm along the back of the couch, his hand just sitting behind my head.

His pressing yet gentle look made me feel like giving in and telling... So I did. 

“You know that Levi and I are in a kind of relationship... Thing. At least, I view it as a relationship and I want it to become something more involved. But Levi doesn't seem like he wants the same thing. Whenever I try and ask, push or just demand something more than maybe a kiss or a cuddle, he closes off and becomes distant or angry," I sighed and looked away at the floor, "He's told me before that he wants to try and keep things professional, because I still have a life to live and time to grow up and he doesn't want to impose too much on my youth."

"That sounds reasonable, don't you think?" Erwin asked, tilting his head so his blond head was in my peripheral vision. 

I grunted and crossed my arms over my chest, looking further away. 

"I mean I guess. But after months and months I would have thought that by now he would have at least touched me in some way." I blurted out before quickly closing my mouth and glancing at him with a little bit of fear. I hadn't meant to go that far and reveal so much personal information.

If Erwin wanted to laugh or smirk he didn't let it show, but I could see his eyes calculating, the ice blue swirling with something I couldn't quite read.

"So, it's on the more sexual scale of things that you're desiring but Levi won't give you that. I see." He murmured and rubbed his stubbly chin with his free hand.

"...Uh, yes." I answered quietly, mildly concerned as to what Erwin was thinking of.

"So, if someone else was to offer a, let's say solution to your desires, would you take it? You've become desperate have't you?" He asked quietly and inched forward slowly. 

I looked up and met his captivating eyes, swallowing hard. Before Levi had come along, Erwin was on everyone's DILF list, even though he wasn't a father. Even now I still found him incredibly attractive, but I tried not to think about it most of the time because I had Levi.

"I-I don't know. What do you mean?" I asked softly, suddenly feeling like the air around us was closing in, making for a  more cramped space. 

He gave me the faintest of smirks before starting to lean in a bit closer. I tried to shift back, but I was already pressed against the arm of the couch and could go no further. Mild panic began to set in as he kept moving in.

"Well, I know for a fact that you find me attractive don't you?" He murmured and I tried my best to frown.

"What're you talking about?" I breathed, trying to ignore how nice his cologne smelled.

"I'm not silly Eren, before Levi came along I know how you used to look at me... With such  _desire_  too."

"Well... Like you said, that was before Levi. I've tried not to notice you since him." I blurted, suddenly too afraid to move. For some reason, I didn't to leave, I felt like I would be disrespecting Erwin since he was still my teacher. But every atom in my body was screaming that I should leave before something went too far. 

"And even though you have only looked at him since meeting him, and you've gone to many lengths to try and show him you're ready for more, he still hasn't done anything in return, has he? But I'm here offering to take on that role instead Eren. I can help you with your desires." He whispered, leaning dangerously close. 

I finally had the right sense to lift my hand and push it against Erwin's chest. I was about to open my mouth and say that he should really back off, when I heard the worst noise I could possibly hear at this point in time.

Levi's voice.

"Oi Erwin, you got a minute-" His words cut off abruptly and I knew it was because he had seen us. My head whipped around to look at him and I almost wish I hadn't; the look of betrayal and hurt that was etched into his face wounded me more than cut could.

I cringed when he growled at us, but what stung most was that he actually thought something was going on. 

"You grew tired of waiting for me so you've gone and found another teacher to fuck you huh?" He snapped, pure disgust in his voice.

He glared daggers at Erwin before holding up a hand to silence us both as he closed his eyes.

"I'm fucking done with this shit, I'm fucking over it." He said before turning on his heels and leaving the room with one last slam of the door.

My heart was pounding in my chest and I couldn't stop staring at the door. Erwin hadn't moved either.

I finally regained control of my brain and shoved Erwin back with a growl. 

"I fucking hate you Erwin. Look what you just did! Whatever thin piece of rope Levi and I have been walking across to be with each other just fucking snapped because of you, you fucking piece of trash!" I shouted into his shocked face before jumping up and running out of the room to chase after Levi.

I managed to spot him just as he angrily strode around a corner so I bolted after him at top speed. I was still angry at Levi for not putting out, so to speak, but I wasn't going to let him leave with the idea of Erwin and I being a thing in his mind. 

"Levi!" I yelled, desperately trying to catch up to him. As soon as he heard me yelling he glanced back briefly before starting to sprint away in the direction of his office.

Lucky for me, I had the longest legs out of us so I caught up to him and managed to barge into his office before he had a chance to lock it behind himself.

"Get the fuck out Jaeger!" He snapped, eyes burning with a fiery anger.

"No! Not before you listen to me." I panted, out of breath from my sudden burst of energy. 

"I don't want to fucking hear it Brat, now get out before I say something I regret." He threatened, holding the door open for me.

I simply shook my head and stepped away from the door. 

"I'm not leaving until you listen to me. Whatever you think was going on just now isn't whats going on!" I huffed. "We were meant to be having a meeting about my last test and why I flunked so bad. And then he just started coming onto me and I didn't know what to do and I froze and was about to push him away and say 'get fucked' when you walked in. Levi I promise to you that it's not what you think." I blurted out before he could have a chance to butt in.

He stared at me for a calculating moment before shaking his head.

"You expect me to believe that pitiful excuse? How did a meeting about your test end up with him halfway over you, hm?" He growled, folding his arms over his chest. He had shut the door so that no passerby's would overhear us, since we were still in school that wasn't entirely impossible. 

"It's not an excuse! It's the truth! He wanted to know why I had performed so badly and I told him I was frustrated, then it lead to me saying I was frustrated with us and the fact that we weren't doing anything and then he said that he could help." I grumbled, starting to get pissed that Levi still wasn't believing me. 

"You went and had a bloody whinge to  _Erwin_ about us? Are you serious Eren?" Levi sounded disappointed and over it.

"Well you won't listen to me will you?" I snapped back.

"I do listen to you Eren. I always listen to you. But you keep complaining about the same stuff. I know you want more from our relationship, I know you want to touch me and have me touch you, I know you want to experience a more sexual relationship with me but I have told you countless times 'no'. And you want to say that  _I'm_ the one who doesn't listen? That's rich." He scoffed, frowning at me.

Honestly, his words hurt me more than I thought they would. 

"That hurt Levi." I mumbled, my emotions suddenly hitting a wall and pausing.

"Yeah, well, you have no idea how much it's been hurting me to try and keep my hands off you. Eren, I've told you before that I have to try and restrain myself and you throwing yourself at me doesn't exactly help."

"But why? Why do you have to try so hard to keep your hands off me?" I begged. This was one of the main questions I always wanted to know the answer too. "It's more than just professionalism isn't it?" I kept staring at him and asking the same question of 'why' over and over again until he finally snapped.

"Because otherwise I'll lose control!" He yelled, dropping his arms in frustration. "I'm afraid that if I let go of my restraints then I'll want to take up all your time and energy and you'll never get a chance to live your life and to experience your youth! I swore to myself that if I ever found you again I would never take away your right to grow up and live again." He huffed and I saw regret flash across his eyes.

I faltered. Found me? Again? What did he mean by that? 

"What are you talking about? Levi, this is the first time we've met each other... Isn't it?" I had to ask because I suddenly doubted it for some bizarre reason.

Levi chewed his lip for a moment and seemed to be internally debating something before giving in.

"No... It's not. Eren, I think it's time you were told." He sighed, looking at me almost sadly.

"Told what?" I asked, almost afraid.

"Told that your dreams have a whole lot more meaning to them than you think they do. Told that there's more to us then you know. And told that we've already had a relationship together... Thousands of years ago, in a time that this world doesn't remember." He murmured and I stared at him shocked.

"Eren Jaeger, there is so much more to know than you realise."

 


	19. Chapter nineteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Devastation. That's all I'm going to say.

Eren's POV

 

"What on earth are you talking about Levi? You sound crazy. What do my dreams have to do with any of this? And what the fuck did you mean by 'find me again'?" I asked, shaking my head. His words were only confusing me.

He sighed and closed his eyes briefly before walking towards his desk and leaning back against the wood, signalling that I should sit down in the chair in front of him. I didn't really want to, but something told me that he wasn't going to talk to me unless I sat down in a civil manner.

I looked up at him and waited quietly even though my mind was racing. 

"So, your dreams Eren, they're always about the same time and place are't they? Give or take a few details." He asked, voice low compared to the raised growl he had been giving me previously.

I nodded. I had told him a lot about my dream, but for some reason I had a feeling that he suddenly knew more about them than I did.

"Do you want to know what they were truly about?" He questioned, voice hesitant. I chewed my lip and wondered for a minute. Surely there wasn't anything he could tell me that I didn't already know, and for real, as if any of it was wrose than what I already knew. So I nodded.

"Well. As I just mentioned, the world you dream of was once actually a reality thousands of years ago and... Well, I was there. And so was Erwin, Hanji, Mikasa and Armin. Even Jean, and most of your classmates. And the thing is, we all remember that time because it was once actually our past lives. But for some reason, you don't remember it as a past life you just have broken dreams about it. I think your mind may have suppressed a majority of it because I believe you went through so much tragedy, it couldn't handle remembering it completely.

You and I were in a similar position as we are now, I was a corporal for an army and you were a soldier. That much you know, it's what you've dreamt about the most since meeting me. We were apart of an army branch known as the Survey Corps and we fought an enemy called titans; big, ugly naked beings that did nothing but eat humans for fun. You actually died while fighting one."

I had never told Levi about the death I had dreamt about. 

"I actually watched you die and that was the most painful thing I have ever had to experience in my life."

"Why was it so painful for you?" I asked quietly, wanting to hear it from him even though I had a good idea already as to what his answer would be.

"Because we were lovers. We were heavily infatuated with each other... So in love." He murmured the last part, it felt as if he was recalling a painful memory. I guess in some ways he was.

"Our life behind the safety of the walls that protected us from the titans just revolved around each other. But we understood that there were more lives at stake, so when we went outside the walls on missions we gave each other no more attention than soldiers in a squad would. That was one of the only things that made it easier for Erwin to allow us to continue being together." He shook his head slowly at the mention of Erwin, and I scowled softly to myself.

"Why didn't he approve of us?"

"First of all, at the time, you were only fifteen... and I was thirty three..." Levi glanced at me almost bashfully. "Secondly, we war at war and we could die at any given moment, he didn't want us putting our relationship above our responsibilities. But when you live that kind of life... We both knew the risks and never put each other's lives over anyone else's. Also he thought that it was risky having a cadet and corporal in a relationship, and a gay one at that. But I always told him that no one would give a shit since they had more pressing things to worry about." He chuckled and I cracked a light smile. 

It was a little bit nice hearing him talk about us, and talk with passion. But then I thought that, even though we shared the same name, the boy he was talking about having a relationship with wasn't me. And that angered me a lot more than it should have.

"What else is there? You said there was more." I pushed to change the topic so I didn't have to hear him talking about the 'old me', so to speak. "Also why don't I 'remember' any of this?"

Levi shrugged. "I don't know. And neither does Hanji, she was a scientist back in our old world too, the only thing she's had to offer is that perhaps, because of the trauma you suffered back then, your mind now has put up a mental block to keep those things out... Maybe to protect yourself. We don't know."

"So let me get this straight. You already knew me when we met? Or at least, knew a version of me from before. You also knew I had dreams about, what you're now saying was a real time and place, and you never thought 'oh hey, I should probably tell him'? You're only telling me now? And did you say that Armin and Mikasa knew too?

And they never said a word?" I could feel my anger starting to rise. "This is all fucking bullshit. And this is the reason why you've been so distant in our relationship? Because you thought you'd lose control? Because you've been so intimate with an old me and you don't think you could get close to me like that again without having what? PTSD?" I frowned up at Levi. Yep. There went my temper.

He frowned in confusion back at me. 

"Well... Yes. Eren, I had a relationship with you for nearly a year. We had something that I thought I never would have in that kind of life. I... I loved you. And I watched you die, right in front of me. After that it felt like a piece of my own heart was missing. I died not too long after you because I recklessly threw myself into a situation that I shouldn't have, but I was blinded by my emotions."

I scoffed quietly and he scowled in response.

"Eren I was fucking devoted to you and you  _died._ Right in front of me. I had a the only thing I really cared about ripped away from me. Then. We come into this life; new, modern and without titans. I prayed that I might find you again and we would be reunited and could try again. Properly, this time. Instead, I find a boy who doesn't remember me, but still has flashes of us being together.

I don't think you really understand how painful it has been for me, to try and push down old feelings and allow myself to get to know the new you. It has been fucking  _agonising_ to have to keep a reasonable distance, to allow you to grow up and to have a life. And it hasn't exactly been easy for me to open up when, the last time I did that, my lover was killed in front of me." 

He stopped leaning against the desk and stood up. Stepping closer, he loomed over me with an angry look on his face. 

"You don't fucking remember me Eren! But you still wanted to be with me, you remind me so much of the old you that it hurts. I've had to throw away my old emotions, forget who you were and try to learn about who you are now. So forgive me, Jaeger, if I haven't exactly been completely fucking open with you." 

The fire in his eyes made me feel like I had offended him greatly and I wanted to apologise, but my emotions derailed.

"Fuck you Levi. I don't give a flying fuck if we had something once upon a time in a past life. I don't remember any of it except for snippets that are just  _dreams,_ not reality." I stood up quickly, making Levi step back.

"I am fucking done with this conversation." I started walking away and pulled my phone out of my pocket. I quick dialled my mother who answered after a couple of rings. 

"Eren? Shouldn't it be the middle of class? Why're you calling-"

"I need you to come pick me up." I quickly snapped, not thinking about my attitude or my words.

Without hesitation, my mother agreed and said she would be there in ten minutes.

I hung up on her and started storming out of Levi's office. 

"Eren where are you going?" He asked, walking after me. He tried to grab my arm but I shrugged him off and walked away.

"I'm going home. I'm done with our conversation, and to be honest, I'm kinda done with you too. And it's not like I'm going to be able to concentrate on class after this so why stay?" I muttered, heading outside to wait at the gates.

Levi followed me the whole way there.

"Eren, don't be stupid. Just come and talk to me." He begged. 

"Go the fuck away Levi." I growled, crossing my arms and keeping my back to him, watching the traffic going back and forth along the road in front of the school. It was busy for this time of day.

"I understand that this is all confusing for you, but you just need a moment to really listen to me and to come to terms with all of this. Maybe you'll never remember everything, but that doesn't mean I don't love you, we can have our own life. A  _different_ life." 

I ignored his words, despite how good they sounded. That was all I wanted. Was a life with him. But after what eh had just been telling me, I didn't know if I could handle being with him anymore and being haunted by the fact that he loved a different version of me. 

Finally I spotted my mother's silver car driving up the other end of the street and sighed in relief. 

"Look Levi, whatever you have to say to me right now, just save it. I don't a fuck and I don't want to hear it. I'm going home and I'm going to think." I said flatly, trying to use my mind to make my mother's car get here sooner.

She finally pulled up across the street and waved at me through the window. I started to step towards the road, going to cross it to get to the car when I heard the horrible screech of brakes.

Then everything seemed to happen all at once. 

From the corner of my eye I could see a truck swerving to avoid a car that had pulled out in front of them and in that, the truck had to slam on its brakes because it started going sideways.My heart started pounding in my chest, as if I knew what was going to happen before it even happened. 

The direction the truck was heading in was straight towards my mother's car. 

I screamed and went to lunge forwards but I felt a hand grab my arm and pull me back roughly. Levi's arms wrapped around me and he pulled me back against his chest and held me tightly. 

I yelled and squirmed furiously in his arms, trying anything to get away and to get to my mother.

I could hear him yelling something, but my brain couldn't make any sense of it while I watched in complete horror as the front of the truck slammed into the silver car. The sound of metal on metal was etched into my brain along with the image of crushed and scratched metal. 

I screamed bloody murder but couldn't do anything except watch as the wreck skidded across the road and pieces of metal flew into the air. I could hear my mother screaming before it suddenly cut off and my body seemed to stop working.

I slumped into Levi's arms, tears beginning to stream down my face as he helped me sit on the ground, arms still wrapped tightly around me.

How could, in just one day, so many things go so terribly wrong?

 

 


	20. Chapter twenty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren attends his mum's funeral and reads a poem that brings him to tears.  
> He has another dream, only this time his mother is involved... And the dreams don't stop.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This poem is not my own. I did not write it myself. I found it here: https://www.familyfriendpoems.com/poem/missing-mama--lung-cancer  
> Also get some tissues ready because goddamn, I cried while writing this.

Eren

 

Empty. Everything just felt empty.

It was like a piece of me was missing; a nasty, gaping hole was left in its wake and for weeks I had no idea how to fill it.

 

A few days following the crash, Mumma's funeral was arranged. A week later, it was held. 

There was a whole crowd of people attending. She had touched so many people over the course of her life and they were all horribly upset to learn of her passing. 

Friends, more than there was family, all gathered in their best black attire to mourn and reminisce about the life she had lead.

Mikasa, breaking from her normally stoic demeanour, stood to say a few words of grief, shedding a small tear that she quickly hid, before returning to the arms of Jean who had come along to support her.

As much I hated him, I was glad he was there for Mikasa during this time. I was too much of a mess to be of any help to her and wasn't going to let her baby me like she always did.

I refused to let Levi come despite his desire to, because an irrational part of me blamed him for the whole thing.

If he hadn't of misunderstood. If he hadn't of told me all that bullshit about my memories I wouldn't have gotten angry, I wouldn't have called mumma, she wouldn't have come to the school... The truck would have hit something else.

I would have been able to tell her I loved her again.

 

I was so wrapped up in my own thoughts that I took me a moment to register that Mikasa was nudging my arm. I blinked a few times and looked at her. She nodded sadly towards the altar and I realized it was my turn to speak.

I took a deep breath and stood.

A speech wasn't really my style, so instead I wrote a poem. 

Hah. All those lessons with Levi paid off for something I guess. I shook him from my mind and focused on just getting through this poem without crying.

Taking another breath, I kept my eyes down on the piece of paper in front of me, not daring to capture the sad gaze of anyone in the crowd.

"I awake each morning to start a new day,  
But the pain of losing you never goes away." 

I could already feel a lump beginning to form in my throat.

"I go about the things I have to do,   
And as the hours pass I think again of you.  
I want to call you and just hear your voice,  
Then I remember that I have no choice.  
For you are not there and now my heart cries,  
Just to see you again to tell you goodbye.  
To say Mumma I love you and I always will,  
And hope that much of you, in me you've instilled.  
The day that you left I just didn't know,  
That you were going where I couldn't go."

My mind flashed to the image of seeing the truck and her destroyed car and a quiet sob left me. 

"And now all my memories of you are so dear,  
But gosh, how I miss you and wish you were here.  
Who now can hear me when I need to cry?  
It so hard to tell you "Mumma goodbye."  
Someday I know all will be well,  
And I'll see you again with stories to tell,  
Of how you were missed and how we have grown,  
And how good it is to finally be home.  
Until then my memories of you I'll keep near  
And I'll pass them on to those who are dear.

I miss you Mumma..."

I couldn't help it. My voice broke and tears spilled from my eyes. I stepped away from the altar and returned to my seat, biting into my lip to try and distract myself with a different kind of pain. 

The funeral continued and soon enough it was time to watch her go. Mikasa, my Dad and myself all stood to place flowers atop her casket before the pallbearers came and carried her gently out of the funeral home. Everyone followed us outside and some music started playing in the background.

I recognised the song as 'Time to say goodbye' and I instantly choked up once more. It was one of her favourites and she always said she would love to have it played at her funeral. Remembering that made it even harder to keep a straight face as the casket was loaded into the car and she was driven away slowly... Off to be cremated. 

 

Then came the wake. I got sick very quickly of hearing how sorry people were for my loss. As if I wasn't in enough pain already; I had to have someone reminding me of this tragedy every fives minutes. I mumbled to Mikasa that I was going to leave and she nodded understandingly.

As I left the building and started walking away, I heard a car door open and close towards the end of the lot. Glancing up I stopped dead in my tracks.

"Levi? What the fuck are you doing here? I told you I didn't want you here." I growled, furiously wiping at my eyes, trying to hide the fact that I had been crying.

"You need me Brat. As much as you hate to admit it, I'm the next person after your mother that you trust enough to let your guard completely down around and I know you haven't had a proper chance to let out all your emotions, haven't you? You're too stubborn for something like that." He folded his arms and leaned against his car, raising an eyebrow as if to challenge me into arguing. 

We hadn't left on great terms. After the crash I was in so much panic that I tore myself free of Levi and when he went to grab a hold of me again I took a swing at him. He didn't block it, but he did step back. I used that moment of hesitation to run to my mother's car. 

He had been the one to remain calm and call an ambulance.

 

I huffed quietly, in no mood to argue with him and decided to let my aggression settle for one moment. Today was about my mother and I knew she would be disappointed in me if she saw me yelling at Levi and blaming him for what had happened. It was all really my fault.

"Why don't I give you a ride home?" He offered, pushing off from his car and walking around to the other side and opening the passenger door for me. 

I chewed on my lip, wanting to refuse but my heart was too weary so I just quietly walked forward and slid into the familiar seat. The car smelled the same as it always did and of course the leather was in perfect condition.

Levi quickly joined me and started up the car. The purr of the engine was comforting and I relaxed into the seat, letting the familiarity and the quiet music soothe me for the time being.

 

Sooner than I realized, we were parked outside my house. 

I looked up at my home and paused. Now I wasn't so sure that coming home was such a good idea. I swallowed heavily for a moment before quietly thanking Levi and stepping out.

I slowly walked up to the front door and entered and immediately regretted my decision. I was hit with a wave of emotion as I looked around and everything in the house reminded me of my mother. The smell, the colour of the curtains, the series of photos hung up along the wall... It was all too much. I stepped outside and grabbed my phone, gasping for air. 

I was about to call Levi and tell him to come back, to take me away from this place then I realized he had never left. His car was still parked out the front.

I sniffed and trudged back towards his car and climbed in.

"You ok?" He asked quietly and reached across the grab my hand gently. I didn't have the heart to pull it away from him; so I let him hold it.

"I can't... I just can't go in there right now. It's too much." I whimpered and brought my free arm up to bury my face into the crook of my elbow, not caring about the expensive suit I was wiping my nose on. 

"I understand." Levi whispered and patted the back of my hand. He pulled his hand back to start driving and I let him. I figured he would probably go back to his place.

Which he did. I recognised the road that we were travelling down instantly and let the scenery calm me down a little.

 

Soon enough we were in Levi's lounge room with cups of tea in our hands and some music playing aimlessly in the background. Levi made sure to put on something that wasn't in any way sad and it almost made me laugh when I first heard him put on some heavy metal. 

"So... Want to talk about anything?" Levi offered, taking a sip of his tea as he relaxed back into the couch. 

I sighed and my instant reaction was to say no, but something made me nod my head instead.

"Ok... So talk. Take your time, say whatever you need to; I won't judge." Levi squeezed my knee and smiled comfortingly. 

 

I closed my eyes and took a breath. Setting down my cup, I pulled my knees in close and cuddled a pillow close to my chest. Before I knew it, I was pouring my absolute heart out to Levi.

 

Telling him how it was all my fault. If I had never stormed out of his office, if I had never called for her to come get me then she would had never been in that accident. If only I hadn't been so angry at her on the phone, she would have had something nicer to remember as my final words to her.

 

I told Levi that it was all so confusing. After he mentioned that my dreams were a reality they suddenly felt different; they felt more real.

 

I mentioned how I've hated not being in contact with him for this time. I had been ignoring all of his texts and hung up on him whenever he tried to call.

I let it all out and the tears just came along with it all. 

 

I sobbed and whimpered and cried until my head hurt and no more tears came. 

Eventually I ended up curling against Levi and falling asleep from emotional exhaustion. 

 

_I was running. My heart was racing in my chest. Something felt different about this dream. I felt... Younger; like I was a child. Mikasa was sprinting beside me. People were screaming in terror._

_Titans... Titans had broken through the walls. That's why they were screaming._

 

_People were injured and lives were lost. That's why I felt so afraid._

 

_I was running towards something, but couldn't tell what._

_I rounded a corner and realized._

 

_It was my house. Only it wasn't how I remembered it._

_Instead it was crushed underneath an enormous boulder._

 

_"Mumma!" I cried out, praying that she had made it out of the house alive. I spotted her. She was alive._

_But she was trapped. A pillar from the house had fallen on top of her when it all collapsed. She was buried from the waist down._

_"Eren?"_

 

_She looked up at me with distress and I immediately ran to one side of her and commanded Mikasa to get on the other side._

_"We have to life this pillar!" I yelled. Determined to get my mother out of the rubble._

 

_We tried desperately to lift the plank of wood, but neither of us were strong enough._

_Looking up, I spotted a titan, not that far from us, heading towards where we were._

_My heart sped up again._

 

_I was not going to let something hap_ _pen to my mother. I was going to get her out._

_She was screaming at me to run, yelling that her legs were crushed and she would never be able to run away with us even if she did get out._

_The titan was getting closer._

 

_Suddenly a soldier was running towards the titan, obviously planning taking it down. But instead stopped and then ran back towards us._

_Despite my screams to help us, my mother convinced him to take myself and Mikasa and run away._

_Which he did._

 

_He carried me over his shoulder which gave me a perfect view or the titan reaching my home and reaching down into the debris._

_My mother was screaming as it lifted her up and wrapped a hand around her, crushing her beneath it's grip. Her screams stopped abruptly. Tears streamed down my face and I was screaming so loudly I was sure my vocal cords would break._

_I saw my mother's body go limp._

 

_The titan lifted her towards it's sickly grin and chomped down on her; spraying blood into the air._

_I screamed harder._

 

I sat up from the couch, gasping for air and crying out. I shook my head, desperate to get rid of the dream... No. Levi said they were memories.

But no matter what I did I couldn't get rid of the image in my head.

 

Suddenly more came. A series of images and memories came flooding back to me. I tried standing, but instead fell to my knees.

I knew I was awake. My eyes were open, I could see the lounge room.

So why were the images still coming?

 

"L-Levi!" I yelled for Levi, who had apparently left me to sleep on the couch and pressed my hands to my head. 

It was painful. There was so much noise in my head, so many images dancing in front of my eyes. 

The last thing I remembered was Levi running in with a panicked look on his face.

 

And then everything went black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woo! So, some exciting things are starting to happen! What does it all mean? What will happen next?!


	21. Chapter Twenty one

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren goes to hospital after blacking out and Levi tries his best to wake him. Also graduation... Also a gift.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I cannot thank you all enough for your patience! This is it guys, this is the last chapter, it's been nearly two years but we've finally made it! Through heart ache and lust, but we're finally here. I hope you all enjoy this last chapter. Thank you so much for all the kudos, bookmarks and comments! 
> 
>  
> 
> The song mentioned is 'My Heart I Surrender' by IPrevail, please only listen to it once it's mentioned as to not spoil the surprise.

Levi

 

The Doctors didn't know what was wrong with him. Nobody could tell what had happened.

When Eren had called out to me I had rushed in to see him pass out onto the carpet. He wasn't waking up to anything I tried, so I called an ambulance. Once they arrived they tried everything they could but nothing prevailed. So he was rushed off to Trost hospital with myself hightailing it after him in my car. 

I quickly called Mikasa and let her know that something had happened. She said she would meet me at the hospital before hanging up and leaving me to follow the ambulance as best as I could. 

Once at the hospital I was stopped by a nurse who told me I couldn't follow Eren any further and I had to wait in the waiting room.

Hours had gone by.

Several Styrofoam coffee cups were stacked haphazardly in the bin beside me and Mikasa was pacing in front of me. 

I was a little bit surprised to see her so frazzled, but considering that she had just lost someone not even a week ago I didn't blame her for being so highly strung. 

My mind was racing the entire time, despite the lack of expression on my face. What the fuck had happened to Eren? The last thing that had happened was he fell asleep against me and after a while I gently laid him down so I could let him rest in peace. 

Not even twenty minutes later I heard him screaming and then he yelled my name. When I reached the lounge room he was kneeling and he had a petrified expression on his face. Then he just slumped to the floor.

After what seemed like an eternity a Doctor finally came out to see us and give us news.

"What's wrong with him? Is he ok?" Mikasa was quick and to the point. I nodded once in agreement with her, eager to know; but also mildly afraid. 

The Doctor sighed briefly and pinched the bridge of his nose. He looked tired. He flipped through the pages attached to his clipboard and sighed again.

"Look, I'll be frank: We don't know." He said, looking between us. 

We stared back blankly. 

"What the fuck does that mean?" I snapped.

"We've checked him out from head to toe and we can't find anything wrong with him. There was some mild pressure on the brain which we've taken care of, but there's no brain damage, his vitals are fine; he's pretty much just sleeping... But nothing we've done has woken him. He hasn't stirred. We've simply had to call it a coma; we don't know any other way to put it." 

My world seemed to come to a screeching halt.

A coma?

No way.

"Can we go see him?" Mikasa asked, keeping her face composed. I wasn't sure if she was fighting back tears or not, but I knew she was hurting badly. I was somewhat proud of her control.

 

We were allowed to see Eren, but were told that it might be a little confronting seeing him. 

I thought I had prepared myself but still flinched when the sight of him hit me.

He had been changed into a hospital gown which I hated; the stark white contrasted harshly against his tanned skin. It seemed sucking the colour from his face. 

There were tubes sticking out from his head, face and an IV drip connected to his arm. Mikasa gasped and rushed to his side, grabbing his hand and holding it gently between her own. 

"Eren? Oh my god Eren what happened to you?" She sobbed quietly as I took my place on the other side of his bed. Of course, he didn't respond. He couldn't. We were told that perhaps he could still hear us and that we should give him words of comfort and warmth, give him reasons to wake up again. 

I didn't know how much of that was true, but I wasn't about to throw away any hopes of Eren waking up again. He had to wake up. I was not going to lose him for a second time. I did not want to live another lifetime without him by my side.

 

Two weeks had gone by and not a damn thing had changed. Mikasa was at Eren's side almost every day after school, talking to him, sometimes she would read whatever novel she had on her, other times she just laid on the bed carefully next to him and played music through her earbuds; one bud for her and one for Eren. 

I tried not to go there every day because despite how badly I wanted to, because I wasn't family, nor was I allowed to say I was Eren's lover. I was just his teacher to everyone else. 

I usually went when Mikasa didn't. Even though she knew about us, I still preferred to have some privacy with what I said to Eren. I typically just sat by his side; uncomfortable, plastic chair dragged closed to his bed, cup of coffee on the table and his hand between mine. 

Sometimes I told him about school and work, how English was so eventful without his bright green eyes to liven up the room. Other times I just sat by his side and said nothing, just forced back tears. I wasn't one for letting out my emotions in public and I wasn't about to start, although I had come close. 

I was stressed to no end and afraid. Very afraid. MY heart wasn't going to be able to bear it if he never woke up. I didn't know how long I would be able to put up with this torture; but I also didn't know if I would have the heart to ever let him go and pull the plug.

It was thoughts like those that brought me on the verge of tears several times, but I always pushed them back by sipping my hot coffee and distracting myself.

 

It was a Saturday afternoon when I decided to go visit Eren again. I double-checked with Mikasa to make sure she wasn't going to be there and she said no. 

I grabbed my usual coffee, the woman at the cafe downstairs from the hospital rooms knew my order by this point, and went up to room 104. What I was not expecting to find was another man sitting in my usual spot, staring with a frown at Eren's body and mumbling to himself. 

I stopped and cleared my throat, announcing my presence. The man looked over to me and frowned harder. 

"Who the fuck are you?" He asked gruffly. I was startled for a moment, also confused as to who he was, but I regained my composure and kept my face blank.

"I'm Levi; who're you?" I returned the question.

He scoffed softly. 

"I'm Grisha Jaeger, this shithead's father." He waved lazily at Eren's body. 

Eren had told me about his father, but I had never met the man until now. I understood why Eren hated him. It took everything I had not to punch him right in his ugly mug. 

"So why're you here?" He questioned, standing up. "I don't know you." He almost sneered at me. I really didn't like him.

"I'm Eren's English and sports teacher." I answered calmly, taking a sip of my coffee.

"His teacher? Why the fuck would his teacher be here? You're not important to him." Grisha frowned in confusion and looked me up and down.

"To have a quick visit, that's all. I'm one of his favourite teachers and he's a star student of mine. I was distraught when I heard the news, especially after learning that his mother passed away just recently too." I shrugged and glanced at Eren's monitor. I could have sworn I'd briefly heard the beeping spike, but it must have been my imagination. 

"That coffee suggests you were planning on being here for longer than just a 'quick visit'." Grisha eyeballed the cup in my hand then met my eyes again.

"That's true I suppose." I sighed and took another sip. "If you would like some time alone with your son I can come back later." I offered.

"No."

I blinked and tilted my head. "No? You don't want to be alone with your son?" I asked, confused.

He shook his head and crossed his arms.

"No, I meant, no  _you're_ not coming back later. You have no right to be here, you're just a teacher, not his family." He said sternly, giving me a look that was almost daring me to challenge his authority. 

I simply raised an eyebrow. "Oh? Is that so?" I responded quietly. He nodded once.

"Damn fucking straight. Eren wouldn't want you to be here, so just leave." 

I almost laughed. Oh man you don't even know just how badly Eren does want me. It was killing me, but for now I was going to have to agree I didn't want . I could always come back when Grisha wasn't here.

"Alright then... But as soon as there's any changes in Eren's vitals I request that I be told about it and I will come back." I promised, more to Eren than to his dad whom I was sure didn't give a shit either way. 

"As if that would happen in his state. Now get out of here, nothing's changing so you have no reason to stay." He snapped.

I sighed and nodded. As I started to step away from Eren's bed, his monitor spiked again and this time it stayed elevated. I quickly rushed over and glanced over the screen. His heart rate was rising quickly, as if he was panicked about something. Automatically, I grabbed his hand. 

"I'm here Eren... It's me." I said softly and immediately his heart rate settled to a consistent beep. "Well... I guess that change in his vitals means he wants me to stay." I said, only a little bit smugly, and raised a challenging eyebrow back at Grisha who was scowling. He briefly noticed Eren's hand in mine and his lip curled. I wasn't sure if he had caught on, or if he suspected something, but I did hear him mumble 'disgusting faggot' under his breath as he left.

Eren had told me that his dad was quite homophobic and was never shy about either ignoring his son, or giving him hell because of it. 

I quickly took my seat besides Eren and started talking to him. 

"You can hear everything can't you? I know you can." I smiled briefly, glad that I could confirm that fact. At least he had some sense of what was going on. "I've actually got a present for you brat. It's in my car, so I'll be back in a tick." I patted his hand and stood up, quickly ducking out to the car and returning with a guitar. 

It was my favourite instrument and Eren had once begged for me to play for him. I chuckled at the memory. 

 

I had had told Eren that if he scored an A on his next test he would be allowed to see my room. Boy did that give him motivation to study like there was no tomorrow. 

He was grinning widely when he slapped the test result down onto my desk. 

“I get to see the holy grail now.” He giggled. 

The next weekend he came around I made him finish his work before we went upstairs. He was like a kid in a candy store the way he was bouncing around with excitement. 

“Lemme see, lemme see!” He cheered as I opened the door and stepped in. 

“Alright alright, calm down brat.” I sighed and stepped aside to let him blunder into the room. 

I didn’t know what he was expecting, there wasn’t really anything special about my room. It was like the rest of the house. Dark carpet, pale walls, small canvases on two of the four walls. Bedside table on either side of the king sized bed. Chest of drawers across from the foot of the bed and a wardobe in one corner. 

Leaning against the wardrobe was my guitar. 

Eren gasped when he saw it. 

“You play?!” He exclaimed and grabbed the guitar carefully. Spinning around with a grin he held it out to me, eyes gleaming. 

I raised an eyebrow, leaning against the wall. "What?" I knew what he wanted but it was always amusing to see him like this. 

"Can you play something for me?" He asked, grinning widely. "Please?" 

I rolled my eyes and shook my head. "Not today." 

"Awwww," he pouted and his shoulders slumped sadly, "but... But..." He whined and looked up at from under his lashes. "Pwease?" 

I snorted. "Acting cutsie like that is only hardening my resolve brat. Put it back." He did as he was told, not before giving me a grunt.

"One day maybe. It's more likely I'll meet your mother before I play guitar for you." I laughed and we returned downstairs.

 

I closed my eyes and willed the bitter memory to disappear. 

"I'm so sorry you never got to introduce us Eren..." I whispered, settling into the chair and resting the guitar on my leg. "I know she would have made a wonderful mother-in-law." 

I took a moment to sip my coffee before taking my position. I began quietly strumming the guitar. I wasn't going to play too loudly for fear of disturbing other patients. 

I had never told Eren I could sing because I knew he would hassle me about that more than he did about the guitar. But I decided that I would let it slide this once. The song I started playing was one I wrote myself, but when Eren and I were first an item. 

" _I'm a ghost in your eyes, a shadow you can't seem to recognise._

_I have a thought of you for every star in the sky._

_But I'm scared, I'll never cross you mind. Yeah I'm scared._

_Will our stars ever align? Will two hearts beat in time? These words you should always remember; to you, my heart I surrender."_ My mind quickly flashed an image of our old salute, the representation of surrendering our heart to the King.

" _Chasing love that can never be mine. Maybe one day you'll realise. These words you should always remember; to you, my heart I surrender... My heart I surrender._

_And I can't count the times, I stayed awake pretending you were mine. Now I'm left here with this emptiness inside. Oh why can't I make you mine?"_

I repeated the chorus twice more and found myself tearing up. "To you, my heart I surrender..." I murmured before relaxing my hand. Then I heard it. My favourite sound in the whole wide world. Eren's voice.

"Heh... It's been a while since we've had to surrender our hearts hasn't it, Captain?" 

I looked up and met his eyes. His open eyes. His fucking beautifully dark sea foam coloured eyes. 

"Eren?" I muttered, disbelief in my voice. I put my guitar down and stood up, taking a step closer to his bed and reaching out a hand. 

He slowly lifted his own hand and laced our fingers together. "It's me Captain..." He said quietly, a small smile playing on his lips. I smiled back with relief. He was ok.

Wait... What did he call me?

"What did you just call me?" I stared down at him, confused. There was no way. Maybe he was just delirious?

"Captain. I remember Levi... I remember it all." He breathed. "They're not just dreams anymore. I remembered everything." He teared up and squeezed my hand. "It's all come back to me." 

I couldn't fight back my emotions any longer. Tears streamed down my face, but I held my voice back. 

"Levi..." Eren smiled and reached up to cup my cheek, wiping the spilled tears with him thumb. "It's ok, it's all ok now. I'm here. And I'm yours... You don't have to be alone anymore." 

Hearing him say that made my heart cry. Eren...My Eren... He was finally mine again.

x

Two months later and it was graduation day. With my help, Eren had managed to catch up on all his missed work and he was more prepared for his exams than ever. In his words he 'smashed them out of the park'. It was hard for him to put aside thoughts of his mother just longer enough so that he could focus, but I was there for him every step of the way.

The week before graduation Eren turned eighteen. He had a party of course, but didn't get too reckless thankfully. Now that he was eighteen and about to finish school, our life was finally going to be able to propel forward without restriction. It would still be difficult, but we were going to make it work.

The night before the graduation the principal, Pixis, suddenly informed me that Hanji was feeling sick and could no longer give her speech and that he wanted me to do it. Apparently something about made him think I would be able to manage a crowd. Don't know what the fuck gave him that impression, but I didn't say no.

The next morning came and Eren was texting me his excitement, while I was texting him my dread about the speech. He only laughed at me and said he'd see me at school.

I always hated assemblies, but I tried my best to enjoy this one for Eren. The graduates ran onto the stage throwing streamers and glitter into the air, making a racket with party poppers and blowers. I rolled my eyes but couldn't help smiling to myself at Eren's excitement. 

They went through a number of awards and small speeches before the moment I had been dreading finally arrived. Taking the paper from my pocket I stood up to read out what would have been Hanji's message to everyone. It was full of the usual graduation crap. 'We're all so proud of you. Congratulations.' Blah blah blah.

In the background I noticed Eren watching me intently from where he sat, a warm smile on his face. The moment he noticed my eyes meet his, he raised his arms and saluted me; hand over his heart and behind his back. That tiny little action made me fault for a split second as I smiled, before I regained my composure and continued. 

Eventually the whole ordeal was over and we were allowed to leave. The graduates didn't have any classes for that day, but instead were all eager to go get ready for their graduation dinner. 

Grisha wasn't invited so Eren and I were going together. At least, to everyone else I was giving him a lift. 

We climbed into my car together once we were both ready and he immediately leaned over and kissed me deeply, passion radiating from his lips. 

"Easy there tiger, save some for tonight." I chuckled and he sat back with a happy smile. "But there _is_  something you can have right now." I said softly and reached into my pocket. Eren watched me closely, a curious expression in his eyes. I met his gaze as I pulled a box from my jacket pocket. 

His jaw dropped and he blinked unbelieving. "Levi... That's not-"

"Before you say anything, no it's not an engagement ring. I'm not asking you to marry me... Not yet at least." I mumbled that last part, but from the way his cheeks darkened with a blush I knew he had heard it. "It's a promise ring." I said and opened the box to reveal a simple, dark grey ring with light grey edges. 

"Levi..." He breathed and hesitantly reached out for the ring. 

"I promise to you Eren Jaeger, that I will love you with every fibre of my being until the day I die and then some." I murmured and took the ring from his fingers to slip it onto a single one and then clasp his hands between my own. "I promise to never give you up and to always love and support you."

Eren sniffed and used his sleeve to wipe at his eyes. "You said this wasn't an engagement ring, but you sound like you're reading out your vows." He chuckled, looking back at me with a loving expression.

"Heh, I know. Though this is the most romance you're going to get out of me for a while until we actually do get married, so don't expect shit like this regularly, got it?" I snorted and Eren rolled his eyes.

"I know silly." He smiled and leaned in to kiss me once more. "I love you so much Levi... Thank you for waiting for me."

I kissed him back with some force before pulling away and resting our foreheads together, holding his gaze. "Took you long enough, but you're worth waiting for... Brat."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much!! <3 <3 <3 I hope you enjoyed it!

**Author's Note:**

> So, this is my first story to be published on AO3!!  
> Woo!  
> I have already published this story on another site called 'Quotev' under the user name YaoiLover so please if you've read it there don't think I'm stealing their work because I am the same author.
> 
> Anyway, Please comment and tell me how I can improve! Hopefully, maybe, please leave a kudos?


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